Expert-Approved Strategies to Help Your Family Understand Gender-Neutral Pronouns 132 Shares Finding your correct pronouns is an important milestone, but getting the rest of your family to use them can feel like a whole separate battle. Odds are, not everyone in your family shares the same values or perspectives, which can make the task of explaining gender-neutral pronouns feel daunting, especially when talking to older generations who grew up within a strict gender binary. "Older relatives may hold unconscious biases regarding gender identity based on their own lifelong conditioning," said Allison Forti, PhD, an associate teaching professor and associate director of the Department of Counseling Online Programs at Wake Forest University, adding that some relatives may view gender-neutral pronouns as a phase or a way of "trying on an identity" that doesn't really reflect who you are. "Therefore, it takes education, conscious awareness, and reflection to understand gender identity in a new way," Dr. Forti told POPSUGAR. "They may need help expanding their vocabulary and knowing when and how to use gender pronouns."