let me read one excerpt. >> i don't want to hear one. >> this is from snooki's book -- >> donny was just telling me a story from st. bart's. >> the donk? >> tequila. >> she wrote a part about how she's very proud of her backside. >> certainly not her brain. >> yeah, that's a -- if you watched letterman last night, you'd know. next. with the venture card from capital one,