I tried to convert myself from gay to straight. It doesn’t work We’re sorry, this service is currently unavailable. Please try again later. Dismiss By Holden Sheppard Normal text size When I was growing up, I didn’t want to let myself exist. In 2004, I thought I was a normal boy. But puberty’s tsunami of hormones changed everything. When I watched footy, I suddenly noticed my favourite AFL players’ bulging muscles. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. WA author Holden Sheppard tried to ‘pray the gay away’ and now knows the trauma associated with the practice.