Month. And this is the group on stage tonight. You can see this photo. Its so wide it just got nominated for best picture. The closest this debate between democrats who talk a lot about diversity came to diversity is that it was held at drake university. Drakes half black. So that might be a different, much of the drama going into tonight was centered on a feud between Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders who have been friends for many years. Warren claims that in 2018 before they were running, sanders told her a woman could not win the presidency. Bernie called that claim ludicrous and says the conversation did not take place. Back in 1919, Bernie Sanders was one of the first senators to support a womans right to vote. But this is a rare and unexpected rift between the senators. Theyre usually on the same page. Up until now, bernie and Elizabeth Warren have spent just about every debate looking like a married couple at a diner. Complaining that their soup isnt hot enough. [cheers and applause] so last night in new orleans, the lsu tigers beat the Clemson Tigers [cheers and applause] to win the College Football national title. The president and first lady were at the game. Seeing melania in public reminds me of when Morgan Freedman got to drink a beer on the wall at shawshank. He tweeted two videos of the crowd cheering for him, bigger than what Neil Armstrong got when he came back from the moon. The president loves to get love from a crowd, which i actually have an idea that could solve a lot. I say we move the oval office to the superdome. Trump can sit at a desk, right on the 50 yard line. And get cheered by people all day. Hed be so happy, and maybe it will distract him from ruining the whole world, right . [cheers and applause] out of box. Thinking. By the way, the president wasnt the only notable in attendance. Cleveland browns wide receiver, Odell Beckham jr. Was there. He went to lsu. After the game he, roll this tape. He appears to be handing out money to the players on the winning team. Big wads of cash. I guess he doesnt have vinmo . I dont know what the deal was. After the game, not just jefferson, he goes with another wad of cash. Odell was spotted after the game with the jerseys of the player the he gave the money to. I dont know if he bought them. This would be a ncaa violation. You cant give money to college athletes, but an official claims it was fake money he was handing out. And everyone seems to have accepted that story. But lets look at that again in slow motion here. Now i examined this very closely. And thats either real money or Odell Beckham jr. Is one of the most the world. Someone played a pretty good one on the president. Last month he was working a crowd in michigan. And a guy got the president to sign a copy of his own impeachment report. [cheers and applause] look at that signature. And now hes selling it at auction. Hes hoping to get between 50,000 and 100,000 for it. Whos going to buy, the only person who would pay 100,000 for Donald Trumps autograph is donald trump. He could have a lot more memorabilia of that type on the way. Tomorrow the house is expected to hand the articles of impeachment over to the senate. Mitch mcconnell says a trial would start as soon as tuesday. A major Sticking Point is whether witnesses would be called. Can you imagine a trial without witnesses . But he says he doesnt want to send the senate on a fishing expedition, which, you know, asking the people who actually saw and heard what they saw and heard is, isnt a fishing expedition. Its a trip to the aquarium. Not only are there many witnesses willing to speak, including john bolton, today the House Intelligence Committee released damning new evidence, this is from lev parnas. He wrote, get zelinsky to announce that biden case will be investigated. He wrote congratulations. Anything i can do to help you or your country would be a great honor, blah, blah, blah. However, i have a more specific request. In my capacity as personal counsel to President Trump and with his knowledge and consent, i request a meeting with you on this upcoming monday, may 13 or tuesday may 14th, which is interesting because, and this may come as a shock to you, six months later, the president told bill oreilly exactly the opposite of that. So you didnt direct him to go there on your behalf . No, but, no, but, you have to understand. Rudy is a great corruption fighter. Rudy giuliani, but he hes your personal lawyer, giulianis your personal lawyer, so you didnt direct him to go to ukraine to do anything or put any heat on them . No, i didnt direct him. Jimmy well, you know, if i didnt know better, i would think someone here is not telling the truth. The help us, mitt romney. Youre our only hope. And if some miracle happens and the senate does its job and conducts a fair trial, our next president for a few months anyway might be the guy who up until now has been very busy creating the space force. Today he swore in the new chief of the space force. The United States space force lo ha will have an extraordinary launch under general jay raymond. Jimmy hes funny. In the middle of all this, trump is busy looking to add new countries to his travel ban. For trump to institute a travel ban on a country, he should be required to find that country on a map. If he can do that without help [cheers and applause] which countries will be added to the ban, so we decided to have a little bit of fun with it. We went out on the street and asked people what they thought about trumps new ban on all foreigners with beards, which he hasnt asked for yet. But will that stop folks from weighing in on it . Lets find out in tonights foreign facial hair edition of lie witness news. [ applause ] as you know, today President Trump announced his ban on any travelers with a beard. Do you support the new beard ban . Absolutely. Yes, how come . I think its good to keep america safe. How do you feel about the new beard ban . You know what . Probably its a good idea. Anything to keep america safe, we should, we can never be too safe. How do you feel about the beard ban . I hate it. I personally love men with beards. So if he keeps them out, well have to look at men with bald faces all day, and they look like police officers. Depends on the size of the beard, actually, longer beards, yes. No wellgroomed. Do you accept the goatee. Yes. Is somebody with a goatee slightly less dangerous than somebody a beard . Right. Today President Trump announced his ban on foreign travelers with beard, do you think this is a good move . I think hes doing what he can to keep us safe. Hes not going to agree with everybody. At the end of the day, the idea is to keep everybody safe. How do you do that . You have to start somewhere. Sometimes you have to start with a beard. I guess. You know you see those people sometimes. They have a lot of facial hair. You dont really know what could be in there. What could be underneath that. Will you follow President Trumps request to call 911 if you see a foreigner with a beard trying to get into the United States borders . I hope im never in that situation. So i, i would support him. And i probably would ask my husband to do it. I wouldnt. Im just not going to put myself in that situation. But your husband would call 911 on a bearded foreigner . Yes. Jimmy dont worry, everythings fine. [cheers and applause] things are going great. Heres some other travel news. In an effort to keep their cruises family friendly, carnival has enforced a dress code, which bans any clothing they deem to be offensive, which is a tough one. Who decides which clothes are offensive and which clothes are not . We actually tracked down the person who does make that decision. His name is gill fredericks, the director of pr for carnival cruise, and hes with us now. Hey, gill, thank you for joining us. Hi, gill. [cheers and applause] ahoy, jimmy. Jimmy ahoy to you, too. Are you actually on a ship right now . Yes, indeedy. Im in my office aboard carnivals sensuality on the sea. Hang on a second. Jimmy okay. Attention all passengers. The box office is now open for murder she wrote on ice, featuring angela lansbury. On ice. Get a good spot in the front. But remember, no running. Jimmy okay. So i want to ask you about this new dress code. All right, nosey nancy, ask away. Jimmy what is the reason for it . Its very simple, really. We dont want to expose our passengers, many of whom are families and people of lower intelligence to some of the crude and offensive messages on these shirts. Jimmy okay. But can you give us like some examples of what might not be allowed . Heck,ki sh i can show you. Jimmy okay. Great, terrific. But before i do, im warning you, this is disturbing stuff. Jimmy okay. Some of this you wouldnt see scrawled on a switchblade onto a toilet seat in a crack house. Jimmy okay. Some of these shirts i wouldnt bury hitler in if he was spooning typhoid mary in Jeffrey Epsteins bouncy castle. Jimmy we can handle it. I promise. All right, ernesto come here. [cheers and applause] jimmy is your name ernesto, sir . Si sea indeed and seeing is believing. Show him the contra band. Jimmy show us the contra band, ernesto. I took this one off a lady at the all you can eat. It says berfederal balls inspec. I called around. There is no such agency. Jimmy yeah, im sure there is not. What other horrors d in that box, ernesto . If you can read this, a bitch fell overboard. Now that happens more often than you might think. Jimmy what . Its not funny at all. Have you ever pulled a body out of the ocean, jimmy . Jimmy no, i have not pulled a body out of the ocean. Sometimes they have no eyes. Jimmy oh, my god there is no god, jimmy. Ernesto read the next shirt. It is viagra oclock. Its viagra oclock. Believe me, if there was such a time, i would know about it. Jimmy okay. I sometimes need a little help with the old trouser trout. Jimmy i understand. Thats very normal sglach. We had to confiscates this one because of a typo. All hands even [ bleep ]. Look at this. The chinese who made this spelled deck with a i. Jimmy i dont know that thats a typo. Whatever it is, we have the guy who made it locked up in our jail. Then theres this. Jimmy kiss me, im irish, why is that offensive . We cant have an irish on board. We have an open bar for [ bleep ]. Jimmy i dont know how to feel about that. What else do you have in there, ernesto . All right. Jimmy im hungry. That seems fine. Whats wrong with im hungry . Well, it does until you see the back. Jimmy oh, yeah. Okay. Now i see. Yeah. For dat sweet ass. Jimmy i see that. Hold on a second. Oh, no. Jimmy oh, oh, my gosh. Attention all passengers. Due to an overdose of mexican dramamine, murder she wrote on ice has been postponed. Jimmy oh, no. Filling in will be david copperberg. Have you seen him work . Jimmy no, i have not seen him work. Hes very good. He pulled a life vest out of my bottom. Jimmy oh, my, whats happening . Oh, no we hit an iceberg. Jimmy wait, arent you sailing the caribbean . Global warming, jimmy. Everythings all [ bleep ]ed up. Jimmy okay. Attention all passengers. Were going down. Most of you saw the movie titanic. So you know what to do. And remember, you can always use a fat person as a flotation device. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Ernesto, i hope you didnt hear that. It seems like youve got your hands full there. Thank you, ernesto and gill on the carnival cruise. [cheers and applause] jimmy wow, a lot of action there. Hey, we have a good show tonight. Music from scarypoolparty. Ilana glazer is here. And well be right back with Allison Janney. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by doordash. Alo. buffalo wild win gelato. Cheesecake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. Brussels sprout. Sauerkraut. Freshcaught trout. Alfalfa sprout. Curry. Fried turkey. Mcflurry. mcdonalds cacciatori. Chimichurri. Adlib inhale spiral ham. Blackberry jam. Rack of lamb. Candied yams. Pokes. Smokeys. Gnocchis. And them banging raviolis. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. whistling starting a business means i have to be well rested, every night of the month. Always overnight pads have up to a 2x larger back for up to 10 hours of protection. It catches leaks, so you can catch zzzzs. Because my morning starts, before morning starts. Always. Delivered to your car door so you can do more. Try drive up at target. Feels so good feels so good target run and done. I wrote this a long time ago. I dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real football team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. hey there im lonnie from lonnies lumber. If you need lumber wood, lonnies is better than good. We got oak, cherry, walnut, and more. And we also have the best selection of plywood clattering in the state. Hey highpitched laughter man dang woodchucks wood clattering stop chuckin that wood with geico, the savings keep on going. Just like this sequel. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more on Car Insurance. Jimmy well, hi there. Tonight, she has a new special on amazon, is called the planet is burning. Ilana glazer is here. Then, this is his album exit form. Scarypoolparty from the mercedesbenz stage. A great name. [cheers and applause] you can see scarypoolparty live january 23rd at the wiltern, here in los angeles. Tomorrow night, Charlize Theron and brian cox, who plays logan roy on succession will join us with comedian todd glass. And on thursday, music from nicky jam featuring daddy yankee, Florence Pugh and al pacino. Jimmy our first guest tonight is among the best of the best. She has almost as many major acting awards as she does fingers. Or toes. Her new movie, troop zero, premieres friday on amazon prime. Please welcome Allison Janney. [cheers and jimmy how are you . I am well. Jimmy its always great to see you. Its nice to see you, too. Jimmy we run into each other a lot. Backstage at things. Last time was at the paley center. Jimmy that was so much fun. If i forget anybody, fill in the blank. We paid tribute to norman Carol Burnett and lily tomlin. A great group, its almost like they put, there were too many of them there, they should have spaced it out a little bit more. Did you get to talk to all of them or any of them . Jimmy i spoke to all of them, yes. See, i kind of shy away from that. Jimmy thats because i stupidly showed up like two hours early, as i am known to do. I saw carol. She is my, shes the reason im an actress. Jimmy shes fantastic. You see her backstage, and i remember one time she called me, and i had, i was just so flabbergasted. And i was dreaming of all the reasons Carol Burnett would be calling me. Shes going to ask me to star in a variety sketch show with her. Were going to do a buddy movie or something. And i finally called her back. I waited a day. I always wanted to be on the verge of calling Carol Burnett back. I finally did. And she was recommending a dresser for me to use when i went to broadway with 9 to 5. I used her dresser. Jimmy of course. You have to. I whad to. I had to. Jimmy have you ever worked with her on a project . No, but i know im going to. I have a feeling i will. Because i want it so badly. She means everything to me. Jimmy you know what you have to do is you have to visualize it. I have to do my vision board. Jimmy put her on your vision board. Have you ever done one of those really . Jimmy of course not. I have not either. Jimmy vision board. Are you kidding me . Youre supposed to. Its supposed to really work. I will cut out a picture of Carol Burnett, ill cut out a picture of me, and ill cut out a picture of, i dont know what comes next. Jimmy a hammer that represents work. Youll be working together. Or you could call carol and, would that be too forward . Do you think i could . Jimmy shes as nice as people come. I bet i could. Jimmy whats your alltime favorite sketch . Mrs. Wiggins is one. Jimmy right. And of course, the drapes, the, you know, from gone with the wind. Jimmy yes, yes. All of them. Her warmth, talking to the audience when she would do that in the beginning. I just love that about her, that she would talk, you know, pick someone in the audience and ask questions, take questions. Anybody have any questions from the audience of me, and bring up the lights. Jimmy we actually met a oh, look. Jimmy we met a woman. [cheers and applause] jimmy now that you mention it, we met a couple from chicago. You did . Jimmy who have fled the cold weather. He was a chef for a long time. And she just, his wife told us that she only cooked one meal in 32 years. What was it . Jimmy well, hold on a second. Because now i feel like youre, this is not how carol would do it. No. Jimmy with carol, the audience would ask her questions. Not the other way around. Right. Thats right. So do you have a question for me . I dont even jimmy yes. It was coca van. On the Carol Burnett show, the audience was more prepared. They knew this might happen. Any questions . Okay. At what age did you start acting . Jimmy at what age did you start acting . Oh, thats a good question. Jimmy is it, though . [cheers and applause] [ laughter ] i feel like its not. I was trying to buy myself some time. Because i actually have no idea. Jimmy you just had a birthday, a big birthday, right . I did, you guys. I just turned 60. [cheers and applause] jimmy 60 years old. Im sure people tell you all the time that you dont look anywhere close to 60 years old. You kind of have to say that is correct dont you. Jimmy the Carol Burnett show is over now. Did you have a big party for your birthday . I thought about it. I went, i started dreaming about this huge, i was going to do studio 60 and do a huge party and have chaka khan. Jimmy what is studio 60 . Well, studio 54