Are meritbased, just ask my president ial adviser, my daughter. [ laughter and applause new york mayor bill de blasio announced today that he is running for president. Come on, bill, everyone knows the next step after mayor of new york is insane lawyer. [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause former Vice President joe biden announced today that the headquarters for his president ial campaign will be in philadelphia and hes already getting to know the locals [ laughter and applause according to the washington post, President Trump is frustrated with his advisers, because he believes they are pushing him toward war with iran dude, youre the one who hired john bolton. [ laughter ] did you not know thats his whole deal bomb iran was his yearbook quote. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause still rocking that mustache even back then. Game of thrones will air its final episode this weekend and if youre wondering who is going to die, my guess is hbo . [ laughter and applause senator Bernie Sanders said yesterday that he supports breaking up facebook, but only because he cant figure out to close it [ laughter ] the green button just made it bigger now its my whole desktop. [ cheers and applause i dont like being poked [ laughter ] kris jenner and Kourtney Kardashian were in new york yesterday to unveil their wax figures at Madame Tussauds wax museum. But it wasnt until they got back to the hotel that their driver realized his mistake. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause all right, ladies, were here i said, were here, ladies just jump on out, ladies, were here [ laughter ] this is the ho oh [ bleep ] [ laughter ] arizonas state legislature has passed a bill to make lemonade the official state drink, while massachusetts is still vodka in a Poland Spring bottle [ laughter and applause heres to the greatest state in the nation. And finally, former president jimmy carter was released from the hospital today after breaking his hip while turkey hunting. And this is cool, he even got a card from the turkey [ laughter and applause we have a great show for you tonight. You know her from snl, and her excellent show shrill is now streaming on hulu. Aidy bryant is back, everybody [ cheers and applause one of our favorites and a legend is here tonight hes a renowned director and writer his new book, mr. Knowitall will be on stands tuesday, may 21st john waters is joining us. [ cheers and applause so excited to talk to him. And he is the senator from colorado and a 2020 president ial candidate. Michael bennet joins us tonight. So, youre here on a great night. [ cheers and applause before we get to all that, the president is arguing in court that congress cant investigate him as republicans wage a war on reproductive rights. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth this week it really feels like were seeing one threat after another to our system of constitutional democracy. The president is vowing to block all subpoenas from congress. His lawyers are arguing in court that congress doesnt have the power to investigate him the white House Counsel told congress this week that trump would refuse all demands for records and testimony related to the Mueller Report and trump is turning the Justice Department into a political weapon at this point the next National Treasure movie is just going to be two hours of nic cage trying to tape the constitution back together [ laughter ] im still missing a piece [ cheers and applause earlier this week, for example, trump said he would resist all congressional requests for documents like his tax returns, because he thinks congress shouldnt be allowed to see them why continue to block these House Democrats who are looking for information . Because they are asking for things that they are not entitled to. I could ask them, i assume, if they ask me, i could ask them for the same kind of thing they wouldnt want to do it. Seth yeah, they would. In fact, several democratic president ial candidates have already released their tax returns, because they have nothing to hide. You think Elizabeth Warren has a side hustle selling hotels to russian mobsters [ laughter ] at most i can see her running a b b that serves breakfast way too early. [ laughter ] be downstairs at 4 30 because the cream of wheat goes fast. The Trump Administration is even refusing basic requests for information about big banks that have scammed customers yesterday for example, warren grilled joseph otting, the comptroller of the currency during a senate hearing. Now, the office of the comptroller of the currency, or occ, is charged in part with regulating banks like wells fargo. Warren asked otting to release information about the bank, which has had a series of scandals otting refused and lets just say it did not go well for him will you commit to publicly disclosing the occs evaluation of the, quote, competence, experience, character, or integrity, end quote, of the next wells ceo i will not. Why not cause itll be confidential supervisory information. Well, its confidential if you make it confidential the point is you have the Legal Authority at this point in time i do not have plans to release that information publicly and what is the reason that you dont have plans why are you keeping this secret . As you indicated, its my prerogative. Okay, and our job is oversight here senator warren, no one has been more tougher on wells fargo than myself. No one has been more outspoken you mean at the occ thats a low bar [ laughter ] i would disagree with that. I find that insulting that you would make that comment. Good. Seth oh. [ laughter ] what do you even say in response to that . Im insulted. Good. Im glad youre insulted. Well, im glad [ laughter ] that youre glad that im insulted. [ laughter ] its such a simple yet effective burn that all you can do is slink down in your chair and hope she forgets youre there. [ laughter ] so the president is arguing that he cant be investigated or subpoenaed and that congress isnt entitled to information about him. And then theres the fact that republicans in alabama passed an inhumane and blatantly unconstitutional antiabortion law, essentially inviting the Supreme Courts conservative majority to overturn roe v. Wade. In fact, last night the governor of alabama signed the bill into law and actually admitted that it was unenforceable the most restrictive abortion law in the nation is now in effect in the state of alabama the governor of that state signing the bill yesterday, which bans all abortions unless the mothers life is in danger doctors in alabama who perform an abortion if convicted would face up to life in prison. Planned parenthood and the aclu are challenging states who have restricted abortion, saying lawmakers are passing these bills only to benefit their parties. They know and say publicly that these laws are blatantly unconstitutional, and they dont care tonight the governor here says while she signed the abortion bill, she also knows it is unenforceable because of roe v. Wade. Seth think about that. They passed a bill they know is unconstitutional, and they dont care can you imagine how republicans would react if new york and california passed laws just banning all gun ownership . The nra would send out an all caps email saying, tyranny is here. Trump would tweet something like, gun grabbin libs, not nice with a bunch of weird exclamation points [ light laughter ] and sean hannity would scream so loud, the screen in your tv would crack. Well, probably not your tv, but, you know, your grandpas tv. [ light laughter ] and it will not shock you to learn that some of the men voting for these bills have absolutely no idea how pregnancy or reproduction work take republican state senator Clyde Chambliss who was asked about the fact that the bill does not provide exemptions in case of rape and incest. Chambliss said that abortions could only be provided until the woman is known to be pregnant. Okay already, what . [ light laughter ] is this some kind of ancient alabama riddle the buffet is all you can eat that is until you get to the restaurant. [ light laughter ] chambliss also said [ cheers and applause he also said, im not trained medically, so i dont know the proper terminology and timelines, but from what ive read and what ive been told, theres some period of time before you can know a woman is pregnant. Wait youre not medically trained because you [ bleep ] nailed it, dude [ laughter ] did it really not ever occur to you to look into the terminology and the timelines before voting on this bill it strikes me the only timelines these guys think they know is you have sex and then nine months later a stork shows up. [ light laughter ] in fact, that comment was so dumb, planned parenthood actually had to issue a fact check on its twitter account when asked if this bill makes an exception for victims of incest, senator chambliss said, yes, until she knows shes pregnant. Again, that would mean that that person would have to get an abortion before they know theyre pregnant thats not a thing [ laughter ] its not [ cheers and applause i mean who is this guys sex ed teacher a pole cat in a beer helmet . [ laughter ] but of course, this isnt about protecting life. If thats what it was about, then republicans would invest money in maternity care, parental leave, universal prek, or any number of policies that would actually help families raise children what its really about is depriving women of their basic human rights and chambliss basically gave the game away when he was asked why the bill wouldnt apply to eggs fertilized through ivf chambliss said, the egg in the lab doesnt apply, its not in a woman. Shes not pregnant. Dude, you just admitted it its not in a woman, so we dont care you said out loud the thing republicans pretend they arent doing. Youre like one of those guys selling fake watches on the street and admitting its fake its not a rolex, its a polex, and the numbers are out of order. [ laughter and applause now, these antiabortion bills passed by multiple states are blatantly unconstitutional in fact, the authors know these bills will get overturned in the lower courts thats the point they want them to get to the Supreme Court. And they are doing this now, because they think theyve finally got five conservative justices on their side with the appointment of Justice Brett kavanaugh. You remember him [ laughter ] the bad guy from every 80s teen movie. [ laughter ] you know, he looks like he should be telling michael j. Fox, a werewolf cant play basketball. [ laughter ] of course, during his confirmation process, kavanaugh repeated all the usual nonsense about how he would be a fair and impartial judge. And honestly for the life of me, i just cant figure out what would make republicans think kavanaugh is on their side hes already been pretty, you know, balanced since my nomination in july, theres been a frenzy on the left to come up with something, anything to block my confirmation the behavior of several of the democratic members of this committee at my hearing a few weeks ago was an embarrassment this whole twoweek effort has been a calculated and orchestrated political hit, fueled with apparent pentup anger about President Trump and the 2016 election, revenge on behalf of the clintons, and millions of dollars in money from outside left wing opposition groups. This is a circus [ laughter ] seth i mean, holy [ bleep ], that guy is a Supreme Court justice now. Can you imagine what his questions during oral arguments are like i saw Hillary Clinton outside my house last night digging through my trash as part of a left wing conspiracy to steal my identity and make a mold of my face so she can wear it as a mask and rob a liquor store. [ laughter and applause this guy accused [ applause ] this guy accused the clintons of orchestrating a secret revenge plot with money from left wing opposition groups to destroy him. And now he could be one of the deciding votes on everything from whether congress can investigate the president to roe v. Wade. He sounds like hes auditioning for a talk show with alex jones. Theyre demons. Theyre freakin interdimensional invaders. Okay ill just say it make fun of me all you want on cnn or wherever. But everyone already innately knows this these people are not freakin humans, okay Hillary Clinton is a goddamn demon [ light laughter ] scuse me takin the lord its not taking it in vain she is a demon damned to hell scuse me. [ laughter ] seth i like how he says excuse me at the end like he just sneezed for alex jones, an outburst like that is just involuntary joe biden is a secret lizard who smells like sulfur gesundheit [ laughter and applause of course, throughout his conformation process, kavanaugh repeated all the usual lines about how he would supposedly respect roe v. Wade as settled law. Senator, i said that its settled as a precedent of the Supreme Court. It has been reaffirmed many times over the past 45 years, as you know and most prominently, most importantly reaffirmed in planned parenthood versus casey in 1992. I understand the importance of the issue. I understand the importance that people attach to the roe v. Wade decision, to the planned parenthood versus casey decision i dont live in a bubble i understand i live in the real world seth man, its so weird to see someone who is capable of losing his [ bleep ] like that suddenly calm and measured its like seeing a crazy guy in the subway screaming, rats controlled by the government are spying on us. And then he turns to you and says, by the way, that jacket looks fantastic. [ laughter ] second, kavanaugh was lying about roe v. Wade. And we all know he was lying, because he said the exact opposite in an email when he worked for the Bush Administration somebody leaked to the New York Times and then to nbc news this email written by Brett Kavanaugh in 2003 in which he argues explicitly that roe versus wade is not recognized to be settled law, because the Supreme Court could very well overturn it. Quote, i am not sure that all legal scholars refer to roe as the settled law of the land at the Supreme Court level since court can always overrule its precedent and three current justices on the court would do so. Seth man, id love to hear kavanaughs explanation for that Hillary Clinton snuck into my Office Wearing a mask of my face and typed it on my computer to frame me and alex jones is right, shes a demon from hell. Excuse me. [ laughter and applause our system of constitutional democracy is facing one threat after another. Congress should be able to investigate the president. And women should be able to make choices about their own bodies i cant believe i have to say that, and if youre offended by me good. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with aidy bryant, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. When crabe stronger. Strong, with new nicorette coated ice mint. Layered with flavor. Its the first and only coated nicotine lozenge. For an amazing taste. That outlasts your craving. New nicorette ice mint. Get triple action moisturizer. And 48 hour protection. From full time keeper. To part time coach. New dove men care sportcare. Tough on sweat, not on skin. [sfx bottle opening] [sfx roller coaster sounds] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh [sfx crowd cheering] [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh im not picking it up. You pick it up im not picking it up. Ill pick it up theyre clean cuz my hineys clean. Oh yeah im charmin clean. Charmin ultra strong just cleans better. Enjoy the go with charmin. Almost time for me to go. Well, what if i. Drove me home . What if we lost track of time . What if we took a leap of faith . Whoohoo what if you. Missed my flight next week . The allnew rav4. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause all this week we have had the drummer from the gary clark jr. Band. His album this land is out now. You can catch gary clark jr. At the Hollywood Bowl in los angeles on september 29th and on tour all summer long. Johnny radelat, everybody. Thank you so much for a great week and i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is an emmynominated actress you know from her work on saturday night live. The first season of her show shrill is streaming now on hulu please welcome back to our show, one of our favorites, aidy bryant, everybody [ cheers and applause seth how are you [ cheers and applause god feels good to be home. Seth oh, its nice to have you home and i want to congratulate you i know ive talked to you a little but i dont think youve been here since shrill came out. Its true seth its just a fantastic show oh. Seth and you have a Second Season and youre going to film it out in portland this summer, right yes, i damn am. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause seth and i know, you know, it was so great because obviously you have a show like that and it is very much your show. You are driving the show i know you have a hand in creating the show. And when you do press about it, it must be different than when you get interviewed about snl because it is a far more personal show. Totally, yeah i mean, the show is about, like, a woman finding her selfconfidence and hating her body and deciding to stop hating herself. And so, you know, like, snl they are like, whats it like in the wacky wigs . Seth oh, yeah. And then when i do press about shrill, the questions are like, so youve hated yourself for many years. [ laughter ] and im like, yeah [ laughter ] um, and its theres nothing like backtoback digging in with people being like, so, must be tough to wear tshirts. [ laughter ] and im like, yeah, i guess. [ laughter ] seth your husband, conner, whos a wonderful guy, who ive known for a long time, and your family, did they have a different experience watching the show versus watching you on snl . Yeah. I think they were weirdly more nervous for it because it is so much more personal