Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714 :

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Out at a Campaign Rally last week and when he says, not pleased, he means, could have been louder. [ light laughter ] despite saying this afternoon that they are, quote, very bad for our country, President Trump today denied that his attacks on minority congresswomen are racially motivated. Said trump, i am not now, and have never been, motivated. [ laughter and applause cnn has announced the candidate lineups for each night of the upcoming Second Democratic debate and when joe biden saw his competition, he said, nice nice nice aw, damn it [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according to a new poll, senator Elizabeth Warren is believed to be the most prepared of the democratic president ial candidates the poll was conducted by, oh, Elizabeth Warren wow. [ laughter ] wow, she is good former london mayor and probrexit leader Boris Johnson is expected to be named Prime Minister of Great Britain this week and im not saying its a bad sign, but this guy looks like someone took trump, and put him in a dickens novel [ laughter and applause he looks like trump went undercover in a foreign country. But maybe hey, maybe looks arent everything maybe hes a different person. Boris johnson has made overtly racist comments. Its very clear that the language that Boris Johnson used to describe peoples appearance has caused offense seth no, theyre the same person [ laughter ] washington, d. C. , this weekend honored the 50th anniversary of the apollo 11 moon mission by projecting a lifesized version of the rockets launch on the washingtons monument. And im sure if washington was here today, hed say, um, why is my monument a giant dong . [ laughter and applause what did lincoln get its just him . [ laughter ] police in utah recently responded to a report of a burglary in progress, and instead found a turkey had broken through a window, which just proves, turkey burglars arent as good as regular burglars [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause all day, i knew that joke wasnt going to work. [ laughter ] kept saying, its not going to work. I kept saying it everybodys like, no, trust me, theyre gonna [ laughter ] lose their minds. [ laughter ] carry you out on their shoulders. [ light laughter ] thousands of unidentified bones have been discovered in a crypt at the vatican critics are calling it, not the creepiest thing thats happened at the vatican. [ laughter ] all right. You dont give it up for the turkey burglars joke [ laughter ] youre going to get some hard truths [ laughter ] and finally, the fda is warning consumers against purchasing an overthecounter supplement called big penis usa because it contains undisclosed traces of prescription drugs coincidentally, big penis usa is also what they call the ford f150 in china [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight he is the senator from new jersey and a 2020 president ial candidate, cory booker is back tonight to talk to us [ cheers and applause his new show, what just happened . . with fred fred savage airs sundays on fox. Fred savage is back, everybody [ cheers and applause and we have music from kane brown so, its a great show tonight. Were so happy to have you all with us. Before we get to all of our guests, after lying and claiming he was unhappy with the racist chants he inspired last week, the president is back to attacking four democratic congresswomen of color for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth last week, after he incited a crowd at his rally to chant send her back about minnesota congresswoman ilhan omar, an american citizen and somali refugee, trump initially claimed to be unhappy about the chant he inspired, which was obviously bs its like if mr. Met started pumping up the crowd at a game, and then when they chanted, lets go mets, he said, whoa, whoa, whoa guys. [ light laughter ] that is uncalled for. [ light laughter ] donald trump is not known for disavowing racism. In fact, he wont disavow anyone who supports or praises it, because hes a raging narcissist he rails against communism, but if mao came back from the dead and endorsed him, trump would start wearing tunics the next day. [ laughter and applause weve been here before countless times. Like the time he repeatedly refused to disavow the support of former kkk leader david duke. And then later lied and said it was because he couldnt hear the question he says, im just talking about david duke and the ku klux klan here. And you said honestly, i dont know david duke. Let me tell you okay so let me tell you im sitting in a house in florida with a very bad earpiece that they gave me, and you could hardly hear what he was saying seth even when he lies, he sounds like an addled grandpa facetiming with his grandkids from a nursing home. Im here in this house in florida. [ laughter ] i cant hardly hear what youre saying my ear trumpet is on the fritz [ laughter and applause and then there was trumps reaction to charlottesville when he refused to condemn neo nazis and White Supremacists two days later, trumps advisors again had to wrangle him to issue a statement disavowing the White Supremacists, and it was against trumps wishes aides tried to convince the president he needed to clarify his remarks, but trump appeared to resist, repeatedly saying, i dont know about this, this doesnt feel right to me. And then after he gave the speech, trump told his aides, that was the biggest [ bleep ] mistake ive made. Thats the worst speech ive ever given. [ light laughter ] you think thats the worst speech youve ever given dude, youve given speeches that technically dont even qualify as human speech. Theres another crucial election in north carolinas 9th you know, right . 10,000 known or suspested gang members. [ laughter ] god bless the united shashes [ laughter ] seth trump has repeatedly refused to disavow racism, because hes a racist. And the core of his world view is that citizenship for nonwhite people is conditional. If you dont praise him, youre not a legitimate citizen, which is why he cant stop mounting racist attacks on the four democratic congresswomen known as the squad, repeating those attacks in unhinged tweets on sunday and again today the president tweeting, i dont believe the four congresswomen are capable of loving our country they should apologize to america and israel for the horrible, hateful, things they have said they are destroying the Democratic Party, but are weak and insecure people who can never destroy our great nation. The squad is a very racist group of troublemakers who are young, inexperienced, and not very smart. Seth alright, first of all, youre calling them troublemakers . Are you trying to sound like a scooby doo villain [ laughter ] i mean, it would make sense, since your face looks like a halloween mask [ light laughter ] his presidency should end with the gang tying him up in an abandoned Amusement Park [ light laughter ] second, it never stops being amazing to me how much he projects on to other people. He called them weak, insecure, racist, inexperienced, and not very smart whats next . They cant even pronounce basic words. Thats why they hate the united shashes. [ laughter ] seth but while trump [ cheers and applause while trump was waging his racist attacks last week, we found out about yet another potential crime that almost certainly would have landed trump in a courtroom if he were not the president. First, lets just remember that right now one big reason trump hasnt been charged with a crime is the fact that Justice Department guidelines say a sitting president cannot be indicted, and thats not explicitly written in the constitution or anything it started with a memo thats more than 40yearsold we have that policy thanks to a man named robert dixon, who was the head of the department of justices office of Legal Counsel way back in 1973, when they authored a memo that says a president cannot be indicted while sitting in office. Seth thats right. Trump cant be indicted because of a memo written in 1973. People ignore memos every day. We sent out 15 memos, but devons still microwaving fish in the break room. [ laughter ] those guidelines are part of why Robert Mueller didnt charge trump with obstruction of justice. In fact, mueller will testify on wednesday in congress where he will surely be asked point blank by democrats if trump would have been indicted had it not been for those guidelines, and today in the Oval Office Trump pretended like he wouldnt be paying that much attention to the hearings no, im not going to be watching probably. Maybe ill see a little bit of it im not going to be watching mueller, because you cant take all those bites out of the apple. He still ruled no collusion, no obstruction, and this thing should have ended a long time ago. This has been going on for 2 1 2 years. Seth no, i agree with you that this thing thats been going on for 2 1 2 years should have ended a long time ago also, no one believes you when you say youre not going to be watching all you do is watch tv if the mueller hearings werent on, youd be live tweeting days of our lives. Jessicas evil twin is back from the dead. Not nice. [ laughter ] and its not just mueller. Last week we also found out that the Justice Department guidelines might be why trump wasnt charged with a crime in the hush money schemes he orchestrated during the 2016 campaign to cover up affairs, which ultimately resulted in his personal fixer, Michael Cohen, going to jail last week, we found out that investigators said that trump was the one who was directly involved when a court unsealed documents detailing trumps communication with cohen to coordinate the illegal hush payments breaking news new documents released last hour prompting a very big and very uncomfortable question for the white house. Did the president commit a crime . Today, a judge unsealed search warrant materials in connection to the Michael Cohen case and the effort to buy the silence of women who say they had affairs with the president the documents mentioned the president by name. According to the documents, then candidate donald trump, his former attorney, and former aide, hope hicks, may have discussed ways to stop adult film star Stormy Daniels from going public about an alleged affair with trump. According to an fbi special agent who wrote in the affidavit, a series of phone calls took place in october 2016 just before the election. A lead fbi investigating agent writes in the documents, based on the timing of these calls and the content of the Text Messages and emails, i believe at least some of these communications concern the need to prevent clifford, a reference to Stormy Daniels, from going public, particularly in the wake of the access hollywood story. Seth the president was allegedly involved in the coverup of a crime in the last weeks of the president ial election, and it wasnt even like in the top ten news stories last week. This is how he wears us down its like being in a zombie movie. Anybody can outrun one zombie. But when your city is crawling with zombies youre like, [ bleep ] it, just eat me. I dont want to not be a zombi ill be a zombie, too. [ cheers and applause well all be zombies this is the core of trumpism he marries racism with corrupt plutocracy its not just his cabinet thats been riddled with scandal. Hes doled out tax cuts to the wealthy and corporations, slashed environmental regulations, and gutted consumer protections. And of course, hes been personally profiting off the presidency, himself. Washington post reports that lobbyists representing the saudi government paid for an estimated 500 rooms at President Trumps d. C. Hotel in the months after his election the total bill for those trips, more than 270,000 tmobile executives booked dozens of nights at the trump hotel last year once their merger needed Trump Administration approval. Nbc news has obtained documents showing that Trump International hotel billed the secret service 215,000 for the period between september 2016 and february 2018. President trumps golf habit has cost the American People some 102 million and counting seth so not only has the presidency allowed trump to commit indictable offenses with impunity, its also allowed him to personally profit off the presidency i wouldnt be surprised if he started selling off pieces of the oval office on craigslist. Good desk, made of wood, has light ketchup stains. [ laughter ] so trumps base gets to revel in his open racism while he plunders the government, and doles out favors and tax cuts to his rich buddies who knows if hell ever be held accountable for his crimes, but when it comes to the trump presidency, one thing is clear this thing should have ended a long time ago. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with senator cory booker, everybody [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. vo parents have a way of imagining the worst. Especially when your easily distracted teenager has the car. At subaru, were taking on distracted driving [ping] with sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. The allnew subaru forester. The safest forester ever. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. They mad hot hot . Inal hot heres a shake up my hot flamins mixin with doritos hello talkin bout how far back we go way way way way back is it me youre looking for i dont care about that i aint sharin my snacks the original, now its hot. [ scoffs ] if you say so. Im sorry . What teach here isnt telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on car insurance. What . Or maybe he didnt know. [ chuckles ] im done with this class. Youre not even enrolled in this class. I know. Im supposed to be in ceramics. Do you know room 303. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Good luck, everybody. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Comfort and security for thethe little ones inside. Des possibly the inspiration behind hanes comfort flex fit with a breathable pouch. That. And probably this. yells hanes comfort flex fit. Were going all in thion strawberries. Ra, at their reddest, ripest, they make everything better. Like our strawberry poppyseed salad and new strawberry summer caprese salad. Strawberry season is here. Panera. Food as it should be. [text tone] [text tone] [text tone] nice mmmmmm so nice nice [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause also, very happy to have fred armisen back with us this week give it up for fred, everybody fred, obviously, i have known you for a very long time over 15 years. I know youd be a renaissance man, comedian, musician, writer. But one thing some people dont know about you is that you are, fair to say, an art connoisseur . Fred oh, absolutely, yes seth yes and you were saying backstage that you have an art historians knowledge about every painting ever painted fred every painting, yes [ laughter ] seth i would if you dont mind, if its not rude for me to do this, i would love to put it to the test. Fred sure. Seth okay. Because youre not just saying that to me to impress me this is a true thing [ laughter ] its time once again for fred armisen art aficionado. [ cheers and applause seth very, very excited about this, fred fred, this is mark rothkos 1961 master work, orange, red, yellow. Fred, tell us about this classic painting fred it was, you know, originally a mistake [ laughter ] it was, you know, the paintings at this time were i dont know if you know this about art, but these were commissioned by very, very wealthy families. You know, a lot of rich, rich families would commission these works. Seth okay. Fred and so this family were like, we need to commission some work. [ laughter ] and then so they were like seth see, i will say, i feel like an art historian would have more details than just this family [ laughter ] fred yeah, it was the kennington family and they were, like, we need to commission some work. They were like, great. So they looked up artists, and they found rothko. And they were like, he seems great. Seth and this is before the internet, so how do you look up an artist . [ laughter ] fred at the time, it was yellow pages and white pages seth okay, good. So they found mark rothko in the yellow pages [ laughter ] fred i think, yes, yes seth okay. Fred they searched him out, and they found him, and they were like, hi, how are you doing . You know, would you mind we need to commission some art. Can you do a fire engine . Hes like, when do you need it . [ laughter ] theyre like, were commissioning youre the artist, please, be free paint as you will. And hes like, how close up do you want me to do it . And theyre like, thats up to you. [ light laughter ] but they so this is the front bumper this is toward the front [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause so but they werent mad at the end. Theyre like, you know, in fairness, we did say go crazy, and seth yeah. But thank you very much. And that was the commission. Seth thats great. Thank you so much for that sure. Seth incredible art History Lesson give it up for fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is a United States senator from new jersey and a democratic candidate for president. Please welcome back to the show senator cory booker, everyone. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Im upset seth upset about you have me on the show with fred savage, for crying out loud seth why . I have beef with fred savage. Seth what is your beef with fred savage . I have this rare moment, i get to go to comiccon seth yeah. This is amazing for me, because seth this is out in san diego. I literally became a pac10 Football Player just to compensate for the fact that im a huge nerd. Seth gotcha, right just want to have some balance in my life and im walking through crowded comiccon, and somebody comes up to me, mr. Booker, fred savage would like you have to this. And i turn around and its a pair of sunglasses im

© 2025 Vimarsana