Hi, everybody. I want to thank everyone for tuning in to our show and for staying inside or in their area thats youre doing the right thing. [ applause ] and to all my fellow new yorkers, i got to say, im so proud of you for staying inside and wearing a mask and just doing the right thing. A lot of people are watching us a lot of people are watching new york to see what we do and so you really are setting the bar. So thank you so much for that. Um yeah its thursday. So thats closer to friday right . Its basically friday. So lets lets lets make some jokes and comedy. [ laughter ] we in the house come on steve tonight, join jimmy and his guests vince vaughn, gigi hadid, musical guest maluma, and the legendary roots crew its the tonight show at home edition. We in the house yall and now, heres jimmy. Jimmy hey, guys, welcome to tonight show at home edition well, you guys, today is National Honesty day, which means, tomorrow is national hey, im sorry about what i said yesterday i didnt mean it this is exciting dr. Fauci said the u. S. Government could have a a Coronavirus Vaccine ready by january so, good news. Well be free to go out the exact moment we get snowed in. Some Business News on monday, macys plans on reopening 68 of their stores and theyre gonna limit how many customers walk in the same way they always have, by putting a perfume sprayer at every entrance would you like a would you i saw that chickfila is going to start selling athome meal kits chickfila said, the only catch is, if you cook it on sunday, youre going to hell. See, theyre not open on sunday this is fun. I read that Haribo Gummies is celebrating their 100 Year Anniversary with a bag that includes gummies from all over the world. People say all the gummies are good, but the ones from amsterdam are amazing. In an instagram post, Britney Spears said that she accidently burned down her home gym. Yeah, she said it was an accident, but people are suspicious, because today she released her new single oops, i did it for the insurance money. [ light laughter ] listen to this a city in sweden dumped over 2,000 pounds of chicken manure in its main park to keep residents from gathering there mean while, locals are like, or you could have just put up a sign. I guess you went with the chicken manure route i read about a guy in georgia who is trying to set a world record by having the biggest Lego Star Wars collection. It was a fun idea until his family was like, you did what with our stimulus check . [ flushing ] [ laughter ] i mean, thats no sound effect a flushing sound effect after the joke [ laughter ] right after the joke you did what with our stimulus check . [ laughter ] okay a woman who got a Lottery Ticket from her daughter as an early mothers day gift [ laughter ] [ imitates flushing a woman who got a Lottery Ticket from her daughter as an early mothers day gift won over a Million Dollars meanwhile, her son was standing there with a card and a painted rock, like, you gotta be kidding me. That was my gift to my mom always, a painted rock with crayon and it was a good gift no one else no one else was giving out those rocks and she saved them there was like a drawer full of rocks with crayons on them [ light laughter ] and finally, i saw that the fda told manufacturers to make sure its Hand Sanitizer taste worse, so people dont accidently drink it well, ithelp people stay safe check out this commercial i just saw its important to stay safe, which is why were releasing a a whole new line of unappetizing purell flavors, such as spin class bike seat, taco bell bathroom, electrical fire, salami burp, summer petting zoo, that incense people use to cover up the pot smell, but then it just mixes with it to create a whole new smell thats like incense pot, and of course egg. So remember, these arent for eating, theyre just for rubbing all over your hands. Jimmy hey, thats our monologue everybody. Thank you very much. What a show we a have tonight. Gosh, hes funny, hes a great actor. I just love the guy, i miss him. Vince vaughn is on our show tonight. Uso is his charity that hes going with and thats a Great Organization weve both done stuff for uso. And thats cool. Its fun to catch up with vince. Hes a very funny guy. Also gigi hadid is on the show tonight. Were going to talk. Shes an expecting mother right now. Im so excited [ applause ] to see her and talk to her about whats happening and she must be so happy and over the moon. We love her. Here is her charity is feedingamerica. Org tonightshow there. And music, we have maluma who is just awesome. Yesterday talking to him, hes going to perform for us tonight. And that will be super fun thank you, maluma. Guys, have to mention our friends at salesforce. Thank you so much. If you text meals to 80100, they will match up to 250,000 up until june 1st so keep going, keep going, keep going. Thank you so much. Its so easy to just text meals to 80100 thank you for doing that all the money goes to world central kitchen. And thank you salesforce for doing that big step up. Hash tags jimmy it is now time for hashtags. This is a game that i play with you guys every tuesday, ill send out a a topic or something on the socials. And ill say, hey this one is quarantineabook so, you get a book title and make it somehow about the quarantine well we did that, it was the number one trend in the United States so, thank you so much for doing that and playing along with us we do it every single week so, thank you so much. Man oh, man, some funny choices out there. I think i did big little lysol was my hashtag. But anyways, you guys top me definitely so, lets go through some hashtags on quarantine a book. This ones from carrerasherry she said, oh, the places you cant go. [ light laughter ] this ones from trivworks they said, are you there god . Unmute yourself. [ laughter ] youre on mute youre youre on youre on mute write it down. This one from wordsgirl she said, james and the giant bleach. [ laughter ] dont eat bleach, everyone this ones from gumgummerson. Oh, we love gum gummerson. Thank you, gum gum gummerson, he said, the toilet paper is gone, girl. [ light laughter ] toilet paper is gone girl. That was a great book. Wasnt that fun to read . So good jimmy whipped through that book like it was couldnt wait to jump back in that was a great book. This ones from ryanbartholome. I know that. He said, harry potter and the order of the amazon. [ laughter ] this ones from jacks she said, charlottes web md. Thats a good book sad, sad ending. But its the circle of life. This ones from ericajuarez71 she said, eat, pray, then eat again. [ laughter ] this ones from stillyospaghettios. He said, the call of the child. I know that call this last one is from our buddy, padmalakshmi padma, thank you for playing the game im watching top chef l. A. And loving it, loving you. Youre awesome so, thank you for everything youre doing thank you for playing our game as well. cause it helps us, i love it. Padma said, jane eyer you going to finish those chips . [ laughter ] hey jane, eyere you gonna finish those chips [ laughter ] padma, i love it i love you youre awesome jimmy hey, guys, with quarantine happening, ive been talking to everyone i can possibly talk to in the house. My wife is nodding anyone i can talk to, but im also facetiming and skyping and zooming. But turns out not just me, also my dog is doing it take a look. Oh, good chat with you, bud i love you [ ringing jeremy gary . My lizard oh, gary, i miss you, dog oh, what is going on . Its been forever. Oh, no, no, whatever is going on is insane i dont know what day it is. I dont change my colors anymore. I havent shed my skin in literally weeks. I know, right i mean i always wish they were home more often, but this is crazy. I feel like i pissed off a a genie or something [ laughter ] thats funny, i think im dumb apparently, my brains the size of a basketball. Well, basketballs are big, jeremy see, dumb i cant keep my balls straight oh, and they put me in this show thats cool, right . Its embarrassing look at gary, the silly monkey dog. Isnt it funny we gave her a mans name im a freakin bearded dragon named jeremy. I should be called something fierce like viper or firestorm queen dragasaurus. Jeremy sounds like a guy from hr no one wants to talk to at a holiday party. You know what, jer . How about it you and me, we bust out of here bust out . You sneak out of your house i sneak out of mine. And we get the hell out of here and finally start the band the first bearded dragon golden retriever metal band ever rabid dragons jer oh, shoot, hold on. Jer, where are you . Shes coming. How did you get over here gary, ill talk to you later. Okay i got to go. Shes putting me back in that invisible box thing. I love you, jeremy. Ill see you soon again, i promise. Ah, people were just toys to them. Well, the next time i see that woman, im going to give her a a piece of my gary . Hi, honey. Oh, my god, its you. I know you, i love you i love everything i recognize. Whos a good girl i am, im the best girl did you see me on the show huh . Did you, did you yay everything is new again jimmy my thanks to gary who sounds a little bit like my pal Drew Barrymore and of course jeremy who sounds a little bit like my Pal Cameron Diaz ah, whatever it was great to hear from both of those animals well be right back with more tonight show. Just stand there so i can take a picture. Then, thats it. Just stand there, and then i can just take the picture. Just stand there, and then i can take the picture just stand there a minute. Ill take the picture. Just stand there, and i can take the picture just stand there, and i can take the picture just stand there, and ill take the picture. Its not about the dress. The venue. The cake. Or even the first dance. Its about love. And love cant wait. For help with your virtual wedding go to jared. Com lets see. Its dry. Theres no dry time makes us wonder why we booked fifteensecond ad slots dries instantly and keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. Jimmy hes a very funny man as well as a very talented actor. I got to catch up with vince vaughn right now jimmy vince, buddy, good to see you. How you holdin up there, man . I mean you know, im gettin through it here, you jimmy yeah, im gettin through it, too, you know. Jimmy, are you okay jimmy yeah yeah, im fine i just i just a little out of it, just weird. Oh. Jimmy its a weird time, you know you know i mean, listen, its jimmy too much time. It is a lot of time, but also, no time at all i guess thats just how time is sometimes it feels like it goes on forever, and then suddenly, its over. I dont know how long vince has been talking oh, crap, vince you know, thats hands down jimmy yeah the most important thing to think about during this time jimmy yeah, its true. I mean, dude, hundo p, my man. Otherwise its just trucks and apples in the end, am i right . Jimmy trucks and apples, what the hell did i miss get it together, jimmy are trucks like the country, and apples are the people . Or is the country a thing were in or are the apples the people Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy . Jimmy jimmy vince. Jimmy, are you listening . Jimmy yeah, totally. So hard. I mean, i think whats so impressive is that i crafted a dense and brilliant metaphor about the state of our country and he wasnt even listening. Eh, maybe it wasnt that brilliant. Maybe trucks arent the internet at all. And the apples are oranges is this how i always talk . I need to listen to myself now im not listening to either of us . Jimmy at least 12. Vince . Yeah, i completely agree jimmy right, will, the thing is what am i even saying . No wonder he wasnt listening. Who cares how many oreos i eat when i quote, have it my way, unquote. He said something hilarious and brilliant and i was off thinking about what was i even thinking about . Jimmy trust me, it wasnt that brilliant i was in my head worried about what you were thinking of me wait, you can hear me jimmy wait, my thoughts can hear your thoughts dude, this is so cool. How are you, man wow im okay you know just, you know, being thoughts in a clowns head jimmy me, too. Not a great time to be someones thoughts, am i right too much time for it. Look at these two just staring off into nothing jimmy oh, man, how long have they been sitting there like that . Who knows we should probably get back. I feel bad jimmy whoa jimmy jimmy vince . Yeah well, vince vaughn, everybody. Well be right back with more vince vaughn and the tonight show. Next time we do this by ourselves. Here, here. Absolutely jimmy more with vince vaughn when we come back, everybody. What are you doing, baby . I cheer for daddy youre cheering for daddy yeah. Cheer loud. Can you cheer loud woohoo woo life is too far to walk alone. You cant do it on your own but time will show and dont you know how bad we need each other . You know what im saying . Hmmm. Mmm. Mmmm. Mmmm many of you still need to be on the road right now. Toyota is here to help. Were offering an incredible 0 on our most popular toyotas. Thats 0 on camry. 0 on rav4. Or 0 on tacoma. Plus toyota will defer your payments for up to 90 days. You can even shop and buy online from the comfort of your home. Were here for you. Contact your local toyota dealer to see how they can help. Toyota petsmart has everything your pet needs delivered directly to your door. Or save 10 when you buy online and pick up in store. Now with curbside pickup. Shop petsmart. Com or download our mobile app today. Im going to start the bidding at 5. Thank you, sir. Looking for 6. 6 over there do i hear 7 . 7 in the front 7 going once. Going twice. Sold to the onion lover in the front row next up is lot number 17, a spinach and artichoke dip, beautifully set in a hollowedout loaf of sourdough bread. Dont get mad get e trade and get more than just trading investing. Banking. Guidance. Thick and creamy hvr dips. Theand we want to thank times, the Extraordinary People in the healthcare community, working to care for all of us. At novartis, we promise to do our part. As always, were doing everything we can to help keep cosentyx accessible and affordable. If you have any questions at all, call us, email us, visit us online. Were here to help support you when you need us. Take care, and be well. To learn more, call one eight four four cosentyx or visit cosentyx. Com thanks for sharing your savage moves, and especially your awkward ones. Thanks for sharing your cute kids. And your adorable pets. Now its our turn to share. With the geico giveback. A 15 credit on car and motorcycle policies for both current and new customers. And because were committed for the long haul, the credit lasts your full policy term. So thanks again. One good share deserves another. Theyre our neighbors, and our friends. But now, they are forever our heroes, too. And while theyre working to keep us safe, prudential is proud to provide over one Million Health care workers with benefits that help bring peace of mind in times like these. Jimmy we are back with vince vaughn, everybody. Jimmy my man, vince vaughn im so happy to see you. Good to see you, man. Jimmy thank you so much. Thank you the shows have been great youve done a great job on this quarantine zoom show jimmy i appreciate that, buddy. Thank you. Were trying we got a lot of good people behind us, helping us out. Where are you quarantining im at my house in manhattan beach, california. Jimmy oh hows the hows the kids . You got the homeschooling . It was good just, you know, kind of a regular day. Just out going out, highfives in the neighbors, kissing babies, getting in close [ laughter ] and hugging some local seniors you know jimmy no trying to spread some cheer jimmy no, no, you cant do that you gotta stay in. No. [ laughter ] jimmy are you a are you a good teacher are you learning what are you doing with that its been okay. I dont know you have a a fulltime job while youre homeschooling. I mean, youre, like, just inundated, right jimmy days are weirdly, the day goes by fast for some reason im not going to lie all of a sudden, its 4 00 and im like, wait, what happened . But youre almost like little house on the prairie. [ laughter ] like the old days. You got a whole days work plus youre in charge of schooling. Jimmy am i pa or am i almanzo . I dont know, but youre like a settler for sure, right youre getting your work done but then you gotta jimmy yeah gotta learn you gotta learn the kids in between work jimmy im kind of getting used to the routine a little bit, though, to be honest. I i understand what i have to do and what has to be done. And then, i kind of get the rhythm of the day even when you know, we have the weekends off, when i come back to work on monday, im a little rusty. Have you shown them any old movies jimmy you know, they they got into a giant wizard of oz thing and do they ever dress up as the characters jimmy oh, yes. Oh, you know what my kids jimmy theyre really my kids, too. Jimmy are you dressing up . Yeah. My son was wanted to watch little rascals. So i was like, oh, the old black white i liked the little rascals, the tv show, but he wanted to watch the new one, which i hadnt seen jimmy oh, yeah but then he got obsessed. He always does this. He got obsessed and had my wife do his hair like alfalfa, which was a challenge to get it to stick up the whole time. You know what i mean and he wanted it straight up for the day, full on be the hise sports coat and bowtie and got freckles so cool. But then when we take the neighborhood walk, its a little hot out and i say, why dont you go, like, in a tee shirt or something and we can do alfalfa when you get back. And thats not thats not negotiable jimmy so you had to walk around so im Walking Around im Walking Around with alfalfa and the whole neighborhood was kind of looking at me [ laughter ] jimmy i love hes into alfalfa. Thats awesome, man. So funny. Jimmy thats really funny. You had a did you finish a movie that was supposed to come out or what it was i dont know when its yes, i did a movie with blumhouse. Its like a Horror Comedy body switch movie with Kathryn Newton its funny and its its chris landon who did happy death day and a lot of the paranormal movies but i dont when they come out now, because well see it was supposed to come out, i think, at the end of the year, but, you know, well have to see how they figure everything out. Jimmy yeah ugh, gosh, that must be a bummer i mean, on the one hand, its good that you got the whole thing done i know a lot of people didnt even finish their movies or shows they were working on yeah, for sure. For sure jimmy at least they have it i think, too, its like, you know, just peo