Bill cosby is a really decent person. I really believe that Harvey Weinstein is as good a man as god ever created. Ive spent much of my adult life as part of a team committed to kill somebodys cat. John mccain, and people like him, are not american heroes. The bottom line is Lindsey Graham is the most despicable thing i have seen in my time in politics. And i intend to vote for joe biden. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, moment of ruth. Plus stephen welcomes Lieutenant General h. R. Mcmaster and laurence fishburne, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen thats right thats right h. R. Mcmaster and laurence fishburne, one of those guys was in the matrix. First thing im asking hmm r. Mcmaster, which one was it. Welcome to a late show, im your host, Stephen Colbert. You be me. Thats my wife. You know, life can be hard, but i like to think i can take a lot of punishment. Is that all you got, old man . Stuff like that. But damn. Damn. 2020 is a relentless opponent. Just when you think its finished punching you in the face, it starts workin the midriff and then kneeing the groin. Between now and the election was already going to be a dark and dirty road. But on friday, it got worse. Because our country said goodbye to a hero. Supreme Court Justice ruth bader ginsburg, who passed away at the age of 87. The wave of grief at her loss was immediate. Thousands came to the steps of the Supreme Court to hold a vigil in her honor, a new mural in d. C. Paid her tribute, and if youre like me, you got texts from everyone you know, with an even mix of sadness and swearing. Justice ginsburg led a pioneering life. She was a judge, an attorney, but above all, she was a tireless advocate not only for womens rights, but for equality for all americans. I know exactly how tireless she was, because two years ago, i got to work out with her. That day, she cast the deciding vote in the landmark case of 85 year old fitness v. My selfesteem. Ginsburg was known for her tenacity. She was just the second woman appointed to the Supreme Court and when it came to carving out her place in the boys club, she said that she took her mothers advice be a lady and be independent. be a lady meant dont give way to emotions that sap your energy, like anger. Take a deep breath and speak calmly. Stephen thats good advice for any supreme Court Justice. Hey, boofdouche, be a lady. Ginsburg was appointed to the Supreme Court in 1993, and during her nearly 30 year tenure, she authored some of the courts most consequential decisions and its most scathing dissents, which earned her the nickname the notorious r. B. G. , a. K. A. Ruthie smalls. R. B. G. Believed not in special treatment, but in equal treatment, which she summed up with this quote i ask no favor for my sex. All i ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks. Stephen damn right. Especially hers. Those cravats were dryclean only. But americans didnt get any time to mourn this great justice, because less than two hours after we learned of ginsburgs death, we heard from Senate Majority leader and neutered dog sack, mitch mcconnell. Who said, President Trumps nominee will receive a vote on the floor of the United States senate. He couldnt even wait til the morning. Its like a husband rushing to the scene of the accident and going as husband no not my wife hey, is that e. M. T. Single . cuz i aaaammm apparently, since 2016, mcconnell has had a change of heart, or whatever squirming bag of scorpions occupies that dark cavity. Because back then, he opposed Barack Obamas nomination of Merrick Garland, and he explained it this way the American People deserve to be heard on this matter. Thats the fairest and most reasonable approach today. Voters have already begun to choose the next president , who in turn will nominate the next supreme Court Justice. Stephen keep in mind, back if 2016, that was nine months before the election. This time the election has literally already started. Voting has begun in as many as 20 states. So for mcconnell, not in an Election Year, but in an election, thats fine. Thats like saying, id never cheat during my engagement. But at the wedding . I mean the bridesmaids are just hangin there like ripe fruit so, what changed . Well now, mcconnell claims that since the 1880s, no senate has confirmed an oppositeparty president s Supreme Court nominee in a president ial lection year. Okay, but he did not mention anything about Political Parties in 2016. Hes like that neighborhood kid who keeps changing the rules of the game. as mcconnell the floor is lava, but i can walk on it because i have red shoes. But red shoes dont work for you, because you have an older brother. Thats also why i get two cupcakes and get to take away your healthcare, which youre going to need because the couch is also lava. Mcconnell isnt the only fragrant hypocrite. So is South Carolina senator and sad, wet corn muffin remembering when he used to be lindsay graham, lindsay graham. Graham has already said hell vote to seat trumps nominee, but back in 2016 graham promised that he would treat a republican nominee the same way he was treating Merrick Garland, an iyou towords against me. If there is a re 2a curs in the last year of the first term, you can Lindsey Graham said lets let the next president , whoever it might be, make that nomination, and you can use my words against me and youd be absolutely right. Stephen id love to use your words against you, lindsay, but theyre clearly empty. Now, a gym sock full of combination locks . Thats got some heft. And its not just mcconnell and graham. Listen to all these republican senators in 2016 there is a long tradition that you dont do this in an Election Year. I dont think we should be moving forward on a nominee in the last year of this president s term. I would say that if it was a republican president. The American People ought to have a say who sits in that Supreme Court seat. Why would we squash the voice of the people . Why would we deny voters a chance to weigh in on the make up of the Supreme Court . We are not going to nominate a supreme Court Justice until the people have spoken. Let the new president make the decision without the political influence of the election hanging over it. Stephen of course, ultimately, republican senators have no honor, so they dont care if we call them hypocrites. Its like the fifth victim saying to jack the ripper hey, you keep stabbing me in the chest, youre really going to start to seem like a murderer. I mean, in the publics eyes. I understand all the pressure that must be on you to keep stabbing me. Along with the senators, thencandidate trump said this about Merrick Garland i think the next president should make the pick. I would be not in favor of going forward. But surprise saturday, he said this we said if for any reason, we have a vacancy on the United StatesSupreme Court, we will fill that vacancy. Were not going to say and by the way, we have plenty of time. Theres a lot of time, you know youre talking about. Yourealking about january 20. Right. Fill that seat, fill that seat, fill that seat, fill that seat stephen okay, so trump has a new chant. But unlike build the wall, im pretty sure he can fill that seat. You have to get your joy where you can. Trump is thrilled to have this opportunity. A source close to him revealed that trump has been salivating to nominate a replacement. Court justice extra crispy. Shes sure to cast the deciding vote on gravy v. Arteries. Trump really wants this Supreme Court fight, but theres a danger in trump basing his reelection on this because 62 of americans want the seat to remain vacant and only 23 want him to fill it. People love the way i shanked covid. Quick, find something to take their mind off it. Ive narrowed it down to replacing the supreme Court Justice or drop kicking baby yoda. On this george with week stephanpoulos, nancy pelosi explained that shes keeping her options open some have mentioned the possibility if they try to push through the nominee in a lame duck session. That you and the house could move to impeach President Trump or attorney general barr by way of stalling and preventing the senate from acting on this nomination. Well, we have our options. We have arrows in our quivver that im not about to discuss right now. Stephen glad to hear it, madame speaker, but, can we update your weaponry, please . Democrats may have a quivver of arrows, trump has a literal heat ray but still all this talk of impeachment takes me back to a simpler timer time, like s allto worry about. You know, it used to take several decades for culture to get nostalgic, but the past nine months have felt so long, its time for vh1s new series i love the january i cant believe what our haircuts back then. In that wed get haircuts. And look what we were wearing pants as important as Justice Ginsburgs work was to all americans, and as affected as i am by her loss, i think its fair to say that her lifes work was especially meaningful to american women. Here to talk more about that is one of my writers, and certified woman, Eliana Kwartler. Eliana . Thanks steve. I cant speak for all women, but the women of the late show chose me to talk about Justice Ginsburg for three reasons im tiny, jewish, and have the workout routine of an 80 yearold. I just moved up to two pound weights h youoing . My triceps are a little sore. Stephen i mean about Ruth Bader Ginsburgs passing. Oooh. Im sad. And im mad. Im scared, upset frustrated. I owe so much to ruth bader ginsburg. Her work paved the way for me to get a mortgage and get a car loan without a man to cosign. Shes the reason i can have my own credit card. Without her, i never would have been able to buy these custom purple velour sweatpants that say nominee in giant rhinestones across the butt. Thank you, Justice Ginsburg. And im sorry we lost to john oliver. Stephen are you apologizing to Justice Ginsburg or to me . Both, but actually her. R. B. G. Pioneered the idea that discrimination on the basis of sex violates the equal protection clause of the constitution. In 1996, she got the Virginia Military institute to allow women to attend. Thanks to her, i had the option to attend military college. I didnt take it. I cannot climb a rope. Stephen neither can i. And thats equality, steve. Yu and i have the same muscle mass, but you have more womanly hips. Stephen true. Everything about how she lived her life was inspirational. R. B. G. Wasnt a miracle worker. She was a worker worker. Theres a story from 2014, when she was already 81, where she stayed up working on an emergency brief until 5 00 a. M. Stephen i can barely stay up until 5 00 p. M. I know. I wrote that line for you. If r. B. G. Taught us anything, its that neck doilies never go out of style. Also that you overcome your opponent by outworking your opponent. Theres a reason she worked until 87 and still wasnt finished. But were the ones who get to finier wefre,do these stephen Eliana Kwartler and her sparkly pants, everybody weve got a great show for you tonight, ill be talking to Lieutenant General h. R. Mcmaster and laurence fishburne. But when we come back, more monologue. Who know an open mind is the only kind. Who dont need to travel to find something new. Who know where to escape, even just for a moment. Who dont need a fortune to find a gem. And who know when you spend less, you can discover even more. And never, ever stop discovering. Spend less, discover more. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. An extra 15 credit on car and motorcycle policies . Thats great thats 15 on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . John stamos to knit you a scarf . All finished, jean. Enjoy thank you. I give. The stitch work is impeccable. Its just a double fleck pattern with a reverse garter stitch. No big deal. Is your hair this soft . Softer. Geico. Save an extra 15 when you switch by october 7th. It was absolutely terrifying. This is a free video curriculum that can teach anyone basic digital skills. When you lift up one person, you lift up the entire community. I try so hard, i cant rise above it dont know what it is get a dozen double crunch shrimp for one dollar heres the very model of a modern daily family meal when food ideas are scarce and everything becomes a big ordeal you want something nutritious that your family will devour but add one thing thats healthy. Ugh the taste will overpower so. Only lightlife can return the balance to your every dish our food is always made of plants and it is totally delish cause nobodys ingredients are quite as simple clean or real lightlife is the model of a modern daily family meal lightlife. Try a clean plantbased burger for a change. Stephen welcome back. Now, because of the massive amount of absentee ballots, we may not know the election winner on election night. So, on saturday, trump made yet another stop on his maskfree coronapalooza tour, where he unveiled his plan for how to count the votes faster dont. Were going to have a victory on november 3rd, the likes of which youve never seen. Now were counting on the federal court system to make it so that we can actually have a evening where we know who wins. No where the votes will be counted week later, two weeks later. Stephen um, thats not how voting works. You cant just stop when the numbers are what you want them to be. Otherwise, id be 28 years old with a 32 inch waist, talking about the 44th president. And trump offered a tantalizing Campaign Pledge if biden wins if i lose to him, i dont know what im going to do. I will never speak to you again, youll never see me again. Stephen well, if youre thinking that clip would be a great ad for the biden campaign, youre right. Because after the rally, biden immediately repurposed it if i lose to him, i dont know what im going to do. I will never speak to you again youll never see me again. Im joe biden and i approve this message. Stephen thats already been viewed over 15 million times for a 77yearold, that is some solid social media game. Thats whatcha call a clapback, jack. And imma do it again as soon as i figure out who this bird character is, and why he wants my password. Come on lemme in, ya hashtags laughter trump also floated this jok you know, we can joke, we can play games, we can have fun. You cant have this guy as your president , you cant have maybe ill sign an executive order you cannot have him as your president. Stephen as trump get it . The punchline is im a dictator. Heres another one knock knock. Whos there . Secret police. Get in the van. Of course, overshadowing trumps party is that we have passed the tragic milestone of 200,000 covid deaths. But according to trump at that rally, and on fox and friends this morning, hes doing a great job on the virus. His problem is advertising somebody said, what grade would you give yourself . I said, a plus. Weve done a phenomenal job. Not just a good job. A phenomenal job. On the job itself, we take an a . On Public Relations, i give myself a d. Stephen well, its hard to have good Public Relations when, because of the phenomenal job you did, every day theres less and less public. Well be right back with Lieutenant General h. R. Mcmaster. From the matrix. No . Get ready our most popular battery is now even more powerful. In less oral steroids. Taking my treatment at home. Nucala is a oncemonthly addon injection for severe eosinophilic asthma. Not for sudden breathing problems. Allergic reactions can occur. Get help right away for swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or trouble breathing. Infections that can cause shingles have occurred. Dont stop steroids unless told by your doctor. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. 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