Service, but theres a twist. The concepts in the fresh prince of belair reimagined as a drama. Industry ininsiders are callg it a griritty makeovover that is more serious in tone. But that isnt the only nbc show getting a gritty reboot. You loved the original alf, the show about a wacky alien living with a suburban family. But now peacock is proud to present the gritty reboot. They were your typical mimiddleclass family untill one day an intergallactic traveler from the planet melmac popped up. Its me youre talking to. Alf. This fall, alf lilike youve never seen him before. Are you kidding . All the family hijinks you love. Only grittier. The only good cat is a stirfried cat. Alf. And stay tuned for the gritty reboot of friends. I always picture your mom when im having sex. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Oath weepers plus, stephen welcomes Liev Schreiber. And musical guest Allison Russell. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen hey beautiful. Hey, baby. I didnt expect to see you here tonight. Now its fun. There you go. Hello, my friends. Come on. [laughs] three. Thank you. I mean, come on. Ive got to say i love running out to a crowd like this. I could do it all night long. Welcome. Welcome, my friends. Triple double. Triple double. Stephen welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And folks, you, you all, you lucky people are here on an historic evening because, just over a year after the january 6th insurrection, the feds are finally dishing out some serious consequences. Because today, an oath keeper leader and 10 others were charged with seditious conspiracy related to the capitol attack. [cheers and applause] come on thats real thats realer than real. This is huge. This is huge seditious conspiracy is no slap on the wrist. Its a charge of inciting a rebellion against the government that carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison. [applause] thats pretty bad. Thats pretty bad, i gotta say. But somehow it feels like it should be more. Like, if you tried to take the government down, you should go away for longer than one billie eilish. To put it all in perspective, this is the most serious and sweeping case to emerge from the federal investigation into the capitol riot. Finally. Up until now, the most serious charge any of these guys have gotten is impersonating a flintstone. The biggest name. [applause] whoo the biggest name that the feds picked up today was leader of the oath keepers and pirate captain of the s. S. Lipitor, stewart rhodes. The indictment alleges that rhodes and his coconspirators engaged in a conspiracy to oppose the lawful transfer of president ial power by force, by preventing, hindering, or delaying by force, execution of laws governing the transfer of power. Which is a very elegant way of saying, pooping on the walls. Now, in their defense, the oath keepers claim that they converged on washington just before january 6 as part of a security detail hired to protect conservative celebrities like roger stone. Get your story straight, oath keepers were you there to protect celebrities or roger stone . Besides, roger stone doesnt need a bunch of henchmen. Its not like hes some sort of cartoonish supervill oh, there you go. Now, heres the thing. This isnt a charge they just yank out of the tank willynilly. You dont charge someone with sedition unless you got em dead to rights, and it looks like they do. Because in the leadup to january 6th, rhodes called on members of his group to stock up on ammo and prepare for a fullon war in the streets. And a war was there, and its a war that they lost. This is starting [applause] this is starting to restore whew, feels good. This is starting to restore my faith in the justice department. Finally theyre charging people with the sedition we saw with our own eyes on live tv. And hopefully, one day, the feds will learn the identity of the president who told them to do it. You know who i dont you know what i dont have a lot of faith in . The Supreme Court. Because today, the Supreme Court blocked bidens Vaccine Mandate for large employers. What the hell, supremes . What do you know about large employers . Youre a Small Business with nine workers whose dress code is anklelength hefty bag. As is frequent with this court these days, the vote was 63 along ideological lines. And the conservatives wrote in an unsigned opinion although congress has indisputably given osha the power to regulate occupational dangers, it has not given that agency the power to regulate Public Health more broadly. But covid is an occupational danger. Why do you think everyone who can is working from home . You think its because they want to see their spouse yell at the roomba again . It cant hear you, jack. Its a machine speaking of the pandemic, thats all weve been speaking about for the last two years. But there may be some hope on the horizon, some light at the end of the nasal swab, if you will. Because experts tell us that the omicron waves are appearing to slow down in new york city and other major metropolitan areas. [cheers and applause] come on. You gotta please yes. Oh. Stephen bring it. Bring it. New yorkers reacted to the news of the slowdown by saying on your right. Keep walking, you frickin tourists. You dont have m ms where you come from . Its really a lovely place. You should really check it out. Its not just new york, in both new jersey and maryland, the number of new cases has fallen slightly this week, and coronavirus levels in bostonarea wastewater are falling. One local scientist said. [boston accent] our butt chowdah is wicked virus free yankees suck were not. Were not fully out of the woods just yet, but in the words of one epidemiologist, our assessment is we have likely peaked as a country. No argument there. But do you have any thoughts on the coronavirus . I cannot wait for omicron to go away, because im tired of having to do athome tests. I do it so much ive started experimenting. Sometimes i bring in another qtip for a menageaswab. Keep it fresh. Keep it spicy. Now, some people online have started to question whether were even doing the swab right. They think were jabbing the swab in the wrong place because researchers increasingly believe omicron may replicate in the throat before the nose. The throat . Die, you bastards [applause] the [bleep] is this . This is tea. Theres a rule. Whats the rule, mark . Booze is booze on this show. Today, President Biden gave an update on the battle against covid. And with things as bad as they are, he went back to basics. First masking, masking. Masking is an important tool to control the spread of covid19. The cdc says wearing a wellfitting mask of any of them is certainly better than not wearing a mask if its well fitting. Over your nose. Stephen its kind of embarrassing that after 22 months into a pandemic, the leader of the free world still has to teach us rudimentary safety tips. It brings to mind eisenhowers famous farewell address. Before i step aside, i once again urge my fellow americans dont put your penis in the light socket. I used to have hair but i like ike. Why cant we have ike . But the speech everyones talking about was bidens fiery address earlier this week calling on the senate to pass Voting Rights legislation. He put the stakes in stark terms. I ask every elected official in america. How do you want to be remembered . The consequential moments in history, they present a choice. Do you want to be on the side of dr. King or George Wallace . Do you want to be on the side of john lewis or bull conner . Do you want to be on the side of Abraham Lincoln or Jefferson Davis . Stephen harry potter or voldemort . Luke skywalker or darth vader . Ted lasso or the vague concept of a lack of team unity rooted in a humanistic idea that nobodys outright bad, theyre just wrestling with their own demons . Believe whos that blonde tall lady . Tall drink of water. That speech ruffled the feathers of republicans in congress, especially florida senator and 5th grader explaining to the other kids why he would be an asset to the dodgeball team, marco rubio. In the senate yesterday, rubio criticized bidens speech and attempted to zing the libs. Yesterday we were treated to the president telling us that election laws that are being passed by various states across the country over the last year are basically the same, the equivalent, of the segregation that existed in the 1950s and 60s and before. Now, look, if your daily routine is to wake up in the morning and turn on msnbc as you ride your peloton, and then you go on twitter as youre drinking your caramel macchiato, and then youre reading the New York Times and as youre eating your avocado toast, i imagine all of this makes perfect sense to you. Stephen hey, that is a gross mischaracterization real liberals eat quinoa poke bowls and drink oat milk on their peloton late at night while watching my show [cheering] which. Which reminds me, what up, liberal peloton . Chest open, chin up, back on the saddle, okay . Weve got an 8minute highintensity monologue with three hills, 2 recoveries, and a cooldown with some commercials for ghosts on cbs, thursdays at 9 00. So, crank up that resistance and remember, this isnt about what number you hit its about watching my butt in the mirror come on lets get up lets get up lets get up do that do that and im winded. Senator rubios antitwitter rant would be a lot more convincing if he hadnt posted it on twitter. Also, i gotta say, starbucks isnt a liberal drink. At this point, its an everybody drink. Marco rubios home state has the third most starbucks, with 786 stores. Its the most popular drink in florida after Monster Energy and nyquil. Big news from across the pond. Queen elizabeth has stripped Prince Andrew of his titles. [applause] so from here on out, hes the andrew formerly known as prince. Previously on game of thrones, hisnolongerroyallowness is fighting a civil Sexual Assault lawsuit brought by a woman who was trafficked by andrews friend jeffrey epstein. Thats bad. You know its gotta be bad when the royal family, a group of inbred, ginsoaked jumpedup, medieval gangsters that are the product of an inherently racist class system, who have all their money from ravaging the world and stripping the gold teeth out of pensioners, say, he did what . The queen. The queen made it clear where she stands with her statement. [english accent] the duke of york will continue not to undertake any public duties and is defending his case as a private citizen. Yes, from now on, hell be a private citizen defending what he did with his citizens privates. But he doesnt just lose the title his royal highness. Oh, no. Johnny, tell him what hes lost andrew has lost the right to be called the commodoreinchief of the fleet air arm, the royal colonel of the Royal Highland fusiliers, the deputy colonelinchief of the royal lancers, Queen Elizabeths own the royal colonel of the royal regiment of scotland. Hes also lost the respect of his country and a years supply of turtle wax back to you, Steve Stephen we got a great show for you tonight. My guest is Liev Schreiber. But when we come back, football intros like this audience has never seen before. Announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert sponsored by Liberty Mutual insurance. Only pay for what you need. 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Great on their own, even better together. Try cretors, handcrafted smallbatch popcorn. Stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back. Happy thursday. Give it up for jon batiste and stay human right there. That band right there. Act two. Weve got the multitalented Liev Schreiber, going to be out here. The ray donovan will be. Hell be out here. Before i do that you know i rarely issue apologies here on the show i have to issue a rare apology right now and its to one of our own staffers that i have to issue to the Props Department right now because you may have noticed in the monologue when i took a sip of what i thought was bourbon and i said, pardon the expression, what the [bleep] is this . It was tea, iced tea. The rulers, mark, as you know, rehearsal iced tea. In the show, we do real liquor. I cant sit here and lied to the american people. Its an issue of trust. They have to know what i am saying to them is true and if i say boy, i have a drinking problem. They need to know him but thats a real thing. Drinking opportunity. I have it working opportunity, not a drinking problem. This is on me. What happened was, i have declared loudly to not only the audience but the staff that its dry january for me because i am moaning about it a lot here. What they did was, its dry january, we are not going to give him real bourbon. We are going to be nice guys, were going to do their right thing. But they dont know is the only reason i left that joking is because i wanted real bourbon. I could say thats for work. Thats not me. Its not my fault. I had to. I had you, lord. Anyway, i apologize. I didnt mean to freak out. I wouldnt have freaked out if i would have had a little bourbon. It wouldve taken the edge off. Please except my apologies. Folks, whether youre a football fan or just a fan of eating chili, youre probably aware that this weekend is the beginning of the postseason. Its when the stakes really heat up. And so does the chili. And one of my favorite parts of any Football Game is those player introduction videos where, onebyone, we get to meet the teams. Kolton miller, ucla. John simpson, fort dorchester high school. Andre james, ucla. Stephen i love these player introductions so much that when we did a specil edition of the late show after last years super bowl, i hired some of my favorite hollywood directors to remake them. Back then we didnt have a Live Audience here to enjoy them. But i do now. Jim. The late show presents great directors direct the player intros. [beeping] everybody was doing player introductions. There is victor cruz. How are you doing . Umass. Marcus kuhn. We called him the steamroller on account of he is from manheim. Go guten tag. University of wisconsin. Lorenzo carter, the kid. You ga. The was both the kids. Uconn. Finally, benny two times because he said everything twice. Notre dame. Notre dame. [beeping] observed bennett jackson, the position he plays is safety. But nothing can be considered safe in a vast indifferent universe. We have the stars. To consider oneself safety is to laugh in the face of destiny. University of notre dame. [beeping] let me take a wild guess. Youre brad, right . No. Foley fatukasi. Uconn. Check out the big brain on brand . Did you mean bennett jackson. I dont remember asking you a [bleep] thing. Okay. You were saying. Its because i was saying. I am foley fatukasi, uconn. Jonathan casillas, university of wisconsin. [beeping] all the footballers gathered in preparation for the first of what was sure to be many quarters. Victor cruz, the nomadic wide receiver. Lorenzo carter, the iconoclastic linebacker. Carter love nothing more than chasing a quarterback. He has been one of the giants go to pass rushers and next season hes hoping to rush more. Marcus kuhn. The eccentric defensive tackle. I dont consider myself eccentric. The defensive defensive tackle. [beeping] [growling] howdy, big fella. Marcus kuhn, nc state. Stephphen thank youou to the