and in her desk, among other things, was a long letter, a draft of a letter, she had written to her husband in an effort to try to explain why she felt it necessary to leave him. >> my spirit is crushed. i feel that you were too controlling and obsessive and jealous, and i just can't live with those personality traits anymore. i can't go on pretending that there's nothing wrong. i'm unbearably unhappy. the bottom line is i don't love you enough to stay married. >> also in her desk were books about divorce. >> she was planning the separation and she had saved up some money and she had spoke to a couple of lawyers to get some advice. she was making her plans to move on to her new life with her children. >> and sherry told friends that bob had been abusive. >> no sign of physical violence at all. she wasn't comfortable around him. he was obsessive, controlling,