like i marked time to this day i mark time between while my dad what live and after. >> of course. >> it's like the new zero. >> without a doubt. without a doubt. yeah. there's another guy. there is another steve. there is a steve colbert, there is that kid before my father and brothers died. and it's kind of difficult. i have fairly vivid memories from right after they died to the present. like it's continuous and contiguous. it's all connected. there is this big break in the cable of my memory at their death. and everything before that has got an odd ghostly tongue. >> it's like shards of glass. >> right. >> i feel like flashes. >> little bits of it. and then the things that really, like music, because they died in september. they died on september 11th. they died on september 11th,