is that they might all still be with us had do gotten the mental assistance he needed. >> i dread it all of my life. >> he knew that this was where life was and she came back to life when she had an opportunity. >> leaves an awful big hole in your life. >> it's been a big enough heal for three years and now it's going to happen, she's gone. >> every day you think of her. what would she be like at 48? >> well, that's. >> go to the leks level.