Dont laugh. This fugitive has been at it for years. No one has ever caught him. He appears to haae a very vitaminrich diet. Watch what he does to a bathroom at the container store. Im saying he, but that mighh be a woman. No need to profile. All right. Here he is at his most diabolical. Come on. Not the cleaning supplies. Mexican ladies have to touch those. His yellow rain of terror must be stopped. Im counting on you guys to help me. If ou see anyone drinking a suspicious amount of liquid, please email the show. Do not approach the subject. His gladder is extremely full you might be sitting across from the yellow peepee monster as we speak. All right. This week, bigfoot dies. Finally, you will be shot on pight if you attempt to trick or treat on my property. You have been warned. Good night. laughter from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Journalist stephen brism he is the author of aTime Magazine cover story on what sailing our Health Care System. It turns out our Health Care System has price cancer and no insurance. [laughter] weve been discussing this week on the program how republicans led by senators Lindsey Graham and salty mccain are holding up the nominees for the defense and c. I. A. Until the senators get the information on what happened in benghazi including who changed the talking points susan rice used on the sunday morning shows so we can be sure no americans are harmed again by the talking points. Whatever was said based on information provided by the Intelligence Community on a series of sunday shows bears no relevance on the ultimate questions of what happened in benghazi. Theres an obvious political obsession over a series of talk points that again bears no relevance on the essential issues here. Just a lot of pauses. Very quickly. They are not important. They are not relevant. They are not germane. You cant have them anyway but lately theres an interesting twist. Some democrats apparently deciding democrats deciding that what is what is the phrase im looking for . What is sauce for the goose is now sauce for the gander. Jon no, no, thats not it. Im thinking of the other poultry based expression. Keep bleep that chicken. Jon keep bleep that chicken. Thats the one. [laughter] democrats saw republicans bleep that chicken. [ laughter ] and they thought i want to get me some of that. Its some in the president s own party that are threatening to hold up brennans nomination. Oregon senator ron wyden telling reporters he would pull out all the stops to get answers about the legality of americans targeted by al qaeda overseas. Jon oooh the senator from oregon is going to pull out all the stops. Someone is going get a letter on artisnal hemp dam you soy ink. Free range pens . What are they saying to the president. Theyve written say fug dont share with us some of the legal memos drafted by the department of justice toll valid date the drone killing of american citizens overseas were going to make life more difficult for john brennan. Jon thats a wiseguy like. Nice nominee you got there be a shame if something happened to him, mr. President. This might be a good time to remind democrats that the president has a Drone Program with ambiguous restraints and murky legal justification. This is all for naught. Im sure he will share the drone emails. He pretty much said so a week and a half ago. In the months ahead ill continue to engage congress to ensure not only that our targeting, detention and prosecution of terrorists remains consistent with our laws and system of check and balances but that our efforts are more transparent to the American People and to the world. Jon starting with our nuclear codes. 4138 now, some americans want to change the codes. He will be asked the security question what hospital were you born in . Its me and the answer, of course, nairobi memorial. Wait, hold on so the republicans want information on the benghazi attack which the white house says is pointless. The democrat s wan to know the legal justification for the drone killing which the president says is totally legitimate. Its clear what the president is going to do next. The norkts reports the New York Times reports they are cooperating. Rather than agreeing with democrats to release classified information on the legal just fictions involved in the targeted killing Drone Program. Jon what . Do you remember the state of the union with the promise of transparency on the drones. The state of the union speech promises are supposed to be slightly more durable than new years resolutions. Its been ten days, my man. I was on atkins after january 1 for 12 days. Come on. I shouldnt be surprised. There was the telltale cutaway as he was talking about transparency during the state of the union. That our efforts are more transparent to the American People and to the world. [ applause ] [laughter] jon even obama thought that sentence was bleep . [laughter] by the main question this raises is what is in those drone memos that is so terrible the white house will give anything including information previously not seen about the benghazi attacks not to have to release them . The more we go to Senior Intelligence correspondent assif mandvi in washington. Thank you for joining us. I understand, assif, if im not mistaken, you have obtained a copy of drone memos. What . Um jon are those the drone memos right there assif . Right where . Where . Jon in your hand. You got the no, no, no memos. Never saw any memos, jon. I saw them oh, my god. Jon what are you looking up for . What is the up there . What is the problem, what are you looking up for . Not any white house authorized domestic death drones. Thats for sure. Jon is that a bulletproof vest. There are drones here in america flying wait shall what . I would know nothing about that. So there would be no point in taking me out because i did not see the memos. Oh, my god i saw them, jon. Holy bleep i saw them jon are names named . Is there a kill list . Is it funded by friends of hamas . Sorry, jon. Its getting cold here. Are you cold . Jon oh, yes, did the memos describe how the president gets justification for the drone strikes, the process through which the drone strikes are vetted . Its warming up a little bit. Jon yes, yes its a memo is it like a oh, bide season a cyborg killing machine . No, no a cold breeze just came through jon, so jon okay, okay. So its like secret courts and stuff, yeah . Please, listen to me, okay . If you think that the memo states that president obama from his desk can currently operate drones to kill any one anywhere at any time with no legal restrictions using a special xbox controller then you are crazy. You are not crazy thats what they say. Oh, my god i saw them. Jon oh, my god, assif thats an amazing report. You just get home safe assif. Get home safe. There is no assif. Just the sound of wind blowing through the trees. [making wind sounds] assif is dead. Theres no way to find him or detect his biometric heat signature. Jon biometric heat signatures is that how they do it . I wouldnt know im just a tree. Jon right, right, a tree. You wouldnt know if a biometric heat signature is the thing that makes drones find you. Thanks very much, tree. Get home safe, tree and assif, you do know in february trees dont have leaves, right . Dammit [laughter] jon stay safe, tree. We webebe jon welcome back, everybody. As many pundits will tell you the Obama Administration is a fascist, socialist marxist dictatorship from which there can be no escape other than death. Or is there another way out . Jessica williams has more. With the divisive election behind us americas citizens are moving past partisan talking points to engage in a reasonable discussion of i hate the United States government. Really . Yes maam. Why . Because they are trying to oppress us. The United States government is retiring. Right, okay. So apparently in texas people like larry and lynn are tired of living under the jackboot of a democratically elected government hell bent on stripping them of freedoms they hold dear. One of the things that texas is loves, you can still talk allows, you can still talk on the cell phone and text while you are driving. Really . Yes, thats how much freedom texans want to keep. And if we cant even decide on things like that, they are huge tyrants. Jon what does the word tyrant mean to you as opposed to what it means to everybody else. Tyrant like hitler or lincoln who murders the people for their own political gain. You think lincoln is tyrant . Yes, maam. Its not something you normally hear. No, its not but lincoln and hitler are very similar but most are not aware of it. Hitler killed 600,000 jews. Lincoln killed 600,000 americans. Did lincoln give liberties to people as well . Not that i know of. No liberties that you can think of . No maam. But dont worry his fresh historical perspectives have not gone unnoticed. I ran for senate in 2008 and received 22 5,000 votes. 22 5,000 votes. Get the bleep out of here yes the idea of is a seeding from the United States is popular in texas but thankfully not with everyone. Bob wilson of arlington. Texas cannot is secede from e United States because they need ceded anything to the United States at all. Apparently a clerical error in the annexation agreement of 1845 proves texas never legally joined the union and bobs mail order documents are officially detailed and extremely well laminated. Let me get this straight. Im in a foreign land . Yes. Seriously im not just talking to a delusional old dude outside of dallas, texas . The republic of texas has a full government. I bob wilson and a senator from district 8. You are a senator . Yes. Awesome. Im a lieutenant in the kiss army. Could this make believe nation be the new land lynn and larry were looking for. I would love them to be biblical law counties. You want a place where people can worship freely as christians. Yes maam. Guns we cant even have the bullets we want. You can own any kind of gun you want. Texas isnt allowed to execute folks that rape people. Can we kill rapists . Please say yes, please say yes. If found guilty, yes. Definitely. Clearly the time had come for lynn and larry to leave the secular land a place where churches had to be disguised as shopping malls. I told them to gather the hundreds of thousands of like minded pilgrims and go to a new world. Welcome all ye theres only four of you guys. You guys only got two dudes. bleep okay, fine. Lets go. And so we brave five set forth on our journey. Our vessel. Let the river run. Let all the dreamers look the puritan forbearers our trip would be long and arduous. Let us gather and discuss the dreams we have for this new land. I want a place where we can hold on were here. Hold that thought. And 1. 65 miles from where our journey began we arrived in a new land. A land of freedom, a lond of god, a land known as bobs house. Welcome to the republic of texas. Thank you, everyone come on in. As they settled for a joyous first thanksgiving i suddenly knew the relief the british must have felt 400 years ago when these guys finally bleep left. Lets go back that truck up what just happened . Jon thank you, jessica. Jon welcome back my guest tonight a journalist who has written bitter pill why medical bills are killing us. Please welcome to the program stephen brill. [cheers and applause] this is thanks for coming on. This is an unbelievable article. Its called why medical bills are killing us. Im accustomed to being angry [laughter] when i readTime Magazine. Read Time Magazine cover stories mostly because its like are angels real . But this is 36 pages of incredibly thoroug journal i forgot how to pronounce it. Could you call it reporting. Jon reporting. There you go. Jon this is the kind of thing that i cannot believe during this entire debate over obamacare comprehensive reporting of Health Care Costs was not out there. That drove me crazy, too. I was curious about the first question. We debated the second question which is who should pay the high bills. We never asked the first question which is why are the bills so high. Jon right. Thats what its about. It follows the money. Bill by bill. Seven bills. Tells you who is making what money. Jon i think people would be surprised that not for profit hospital make a lot of money. They make a ton of money and the c. E. O. S of your local hospital in any town or city in this country are typically the best paid c. E. O. S in town if its a small town. Jon now, what you found is very little correlation between what they charge you and what things cost. Exactly right. Why should there be . If you buy shoes, a rich guy like you buying a 200 pair jon sure. Let me say this timberlands dont come cheap. No, i know. You go to a store and want to buy shoes. Jon thats right. Instead of 200 the guy says that is 6,000. You can decide not to buy the shoes. Better yet you can go up the block and see if they have a different price. None of that happens with health care. You are an involuntary entering to the marketplace. You dont wake up and say i want to go to the emergency room and see what is for sale. Jon maybe ill visit a few and see the best place to get my april district mi appendectomy . Right. Theres no marketplace in the most important sense of the definition does the buyer have any power at all. The buyer doesnt buy voluntarily. They have no idea what the price is and if the buyer did have any idea he wouldnt have a choice because a doctor sent him to that hospital or said you need that blood test or that cat scan and the result is predicable which is what you have here. Everybody is making a ton of money except the doctors and the nurses. But the people who make the equipment whether its canes or cat scans. Jon right. The people who run labs and tests and god knows the people who run the hospital they are making a ton of money. We live in an alternate universe. There are two economies in this country. Theres the economies of all of us and the island, health care economy. Weve had a pretty rough time over the last four or fives, six years in our economy. Theres a lot of unemployment, a lot of pressure on us. Not on that island. Everybody just keeps making more money. Jon right. Its as if they dont exist in the universe and worst of all, the money they are making they are taking from all of us and bankrupting the country and its bankrupting people. 60 of the personal bankruptcies in this country come from medical bills. Jon what is crazy to me is when you begin to tease it apart. When you begin to deconstruct it, its made of sand. As im reading its 36 pages. As you get higher and higher in the pages you feel like chuck yaeger breaking the sound barrier. I was like oh, my god. By page ten i was like i cant take it anymore. Theres something you cannot believe this. Theres something called the charge master. Right. Jon and the charge master sets the price. So if you want an mri thats 6,000 according to the charge master. If you good through medicare its 500. The charge master says 6,000. But the charge master is the bridgeport connecticut hospital says 6,000 and stamford down the road may say 2,000 and nobody can explain it. Jon when you asked about charge master they say what to you . Pay no attention. Most people dont pay it. Insurance Companies Get a discount. They get a discount off the charge master. If i sell you a 200, you know surgeons gown. You pay for a surgeons gown in the operating room in addition to paying for the room. If i charge you 200 and you can go on ebay and wie buy it for 6 the Insurance Company gets a discount down to 100 not such a great deal but you feel great when you get the explanation of benefits. That was great i only have to 20 of that 100. What a deal. Jon stick around. The latest issue of Time Magazine. I dont think ive ever said this before, go out and get Time Magazine. Its unbelievable. [cheers and applause]