everywhere, you have 60 pounds of gear. you have been there for in his case, two patrols. two deployments. so about two years in afghanistan. plus the time prepping and uploading, and always stressed. because there are troops who go to places like afghanistan or whenever and they spent most of the time on the base doing paperwork. this guy was pushed out in a forward operating post. every day, putting on his gear and you walk around and you're ready, like a coiled spring. is someone going to shoot at me or i'm going to shoot at them? i don't know who this person is. i don't exactly know what's going to happen next. you have to be always ready to respond to that. it's hard. it's hard to watch that in ways. >> even what you're describing here, i feel heavy just listening to that. i cannot even begin to imagine what they go through. but let me just say, give me that hand. i'm so glad to have you here.