Im very angry. Get me phony. President trump will speak in miami tomorrow. Hell be comfortable, because he still has strong support in florida. Plus hes the state fruit. [ laughter and applause ] the senate today the senate today passed a bill that imposes new sanctions on russia and allows congress to stop President Trump from repealing them. Wow, Even Congress doesnt trust him. [ light laughter ] hes like a fifteen year old kid who still gets a babysitter. [ light laughter ] im not going to burn the house down, mom this is our third house, kevin [ laughter ] in honor of lgbt pride month, skittles has announced an allwhite edition of its candy. Coincidentally, white skittles was my nickname on the High School Basketball team. [ laughter and applause ] you want me . You want me in coach . Sit down, white skittles. [ light laughter ] okay, just let me know, because it takes me forever to get these sweats off. [ light laughter ] a company is offering a new service that will allow personal photos to be printed on swim trunks. So itll just look like im naked . Asked anthony weiner. [ laughter and applause ] according to statisticians, the u. S. Mens National Soccer team now has a 91 chance of qualifying for next years world cup. A 91 chance, what could possibly go wrong . [ light laughter ] oh, yeah. [ audience ohs ] oh, right. [ light laughter ] Major League Baseball has announced that they will allow players to wear nicknames on their jerseys for one weekend this season. Unfortunately it will be the nicknames fans give them. [ light laughter ] according to reports, eating sushi can cause what doctors are calling, sushi face that gives a person a puffy eyes and bags under their eyes. So, apparently steve bannon drinks at least a fifth of sushi per day. [ laughter and applause ] thats good tuna. [ light laughter ] ikea recently announced that it will be launching a candle collection, because what goes together better than ikea furniture and an open flame . [ laughter ] and finally, the new york citys Mayors Office has announced its launching a new initiative to combat summer heat called, cool neighborhoods new york. Which is better than the original name, i hope thats an air conditioner that just dripped on me. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is the host of foxs Love Connection and his New York Times best selling book, superficial more adventures from the andy cohen diaries is now available in paperback. Andy cohen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] she is the director of the number one movie in america for the second week in a row, wonder woman. Patty jenkins is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and he has written an excellent novel. The novel is called, no one can pronounce my name. Rakesh satyal is here. [ cheers and applause ] so looking forward to talking to him about that. Before we get to all that, yesterday we got yet another bombshell in the special Council Investigation when we learned that President Trump is now personally under investigation for obstruction of justice. Meanwhile, Senate Republicans are quietly getting close to passing a healthcare bill in total secrecy. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth trump has had to contend with near constant chaos in his administration from the escalating russia scandals to his record low approval ratings. But yesterday, at least, was his birthday. And the reason i know that is because he wouldnt stop talking about it. Ive been talking about repealing and replacing obamacare now for almost two years dont forget, on june 16th, june 14th is my birthday. We started really on june 14th, flag day, my birthday. That was june 14th, my birthday. [ light laughter ] seth trump talks about his birthday like a fourteen Year Old Girl whose dad has a boat. Its my birthday and were going to party on my dads boat not you, tricia, its my birthday [ light laughter ] but, you know what, weve been hard on trump here on this show and i feel bad that we didnt get the chance to celebrate yesterday. So mr. President , we got you a cake. And i am just going to light the candles because after all, it is your special day. I mean how bad can things really be when its your birthday. Breaking news, the president of the United States is now personally under investigation in the russia probe. This is according to a stunning new report from the Washington Post tonight. Their headline special council investigating trump for possible obstruction of justice. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] seth so trump is now personally the subject of the special Council Investigation, which is looking into whether he committed obstruction of justice by, among other things, firing former fbi director james comey. Now, there are a couple reasons this story is amazing. First of all, just days ago, after comeys testimony, trump and his lawyer Mark Kasowitz quote, that he had been proven right. Kasowitz said, the president was not under investigation as part of any probe into russian interference. And trump tweeted, total and complete vindication. Trump is the king of spiking the ball at the six yard line. [ light laughter ] his timing is amazing. I swear if he tweeted, only fat losers step on rakes, this would be the next thing to happen [ laughter ] then theres the backstory of how we got here. Remember, comey told trump that he was not personally under investigation. Trump wanted comey to announce that publically, but comey refused so trump fired him. And now, because he fired comey, trump is personally under investigation. Its one of the greatest selfowns in political history. I want to get rid of this boomerang. Oh, i know, ill throw it. [ laughter ] mr. President , in the immortal words of dj khalad congratulations, you played yourself. [ cheers and applause ] seth now, the timing the timing of this news is also noteworthy, because trumps allies have been laying the ground work for the potentially explosive move of firing the special Council Robert mueller. Kellyanne conway tweeted, muellers Team Includes big democrat donors. Some maxed out, none wanted trump to be potus. And Newt Gingrich tweeted, republicans are delusional. If they think the special council is going to be fair, time to rethink. And in their defense, conway and gingrich have always been consistent on fbi investigations and attacking the justice department. And im just kidding, their minds have totally changed. I just think Many Americans will say, how many times have my friends and neighbors been under fbi investigation . If the answer is two, your neighbor is hillary clinton. People know this isnt normal unless theres a there there. There is something profoundly demeaning and destructive to have the white house systematically undermine an officer of the department of justice. And i watch these paid hacks on television, to be quite honest, i am sickened by how unpatriotically they undermine the constitution of the United States on behalf of their seth now, which one of you has my check for this televised hackery . I need to buy some pepto, because i have sickened myself. [ light laughter ] but it isnt just trumps allies whove been floating this idea. Trump himself has apparently thought about firing mueller and had to be talked down by his staff. According to the New York Times, people close to trump say he is so volatile, they cannot be sure that he will not change his mind. For trump, the line between whim and will is always thin. It is often erased in moments of anger when simmering grievance boils over into rash action. So, the white house is basically a bar in south boston twenty minutes before closing time. [ light laughter ] im going to fire him. Donny, its not worth it. You need to cool down, donny. And susceptibility to rash action is a terrible quality for a president. Basically, wed end up in a war with north korea if kim jongun forgets trumps birthday. Although, how could anyone forget his birthday . [ light laughter ] june 14th is my birthday. [ light laughter ] seth oh, we know but this is by far the craziest, most naive part of trumps thinking. When word that he might fire mueller first surfaced, trump chose not to push back on the reports, because he thought it would actually help him. The president was pleased by the ambiguity of position on mueller and thinks the possibility of being fired will focus the veteran prosecutor on delivering what the president desires most, a blanket public exoneration. You think fear of being fired will intimidate this guy . Hes veteran Law Enforcement officer, not a trainee at jamba juice. [ light laughter ] look at him. He looks like something you would carve out of wood to scare millennials off your porch. [ laughter and applause ] now the russia scandal can feel all consuming, but its important to note that while the investigation moves forward and chews up all the headlines, republicans in the senate are quietly making progress on their legislative goals. Specifically their attempt to repeal and replace obamacare. Trump himself has renewed his push for the republican Healthcare Plan this week, Holding Events in d. C. And wisconsin and complaining that democrats wont get behind it. If we had the greatest bill in the history of the world on healthcare, we wouldnt get one vote from the democrats. Seth if you had the greatest bill in history, no one would believe you, because you call everything you do the greatest in history. [ light laughter ] youre like the boy who cried wolf, this is the greatest bill in the history of the world. [ light laughter ] now aside from that, you probably heard very little about the senate bill and apparently thats by design. Senate republicans have been writing the bill behind closed doors with no hearings and have no plans to publically release it. But Senate Republicans have been getting push back from critics. And one of those critics is apparently the president himself. Two Senate Sources tell nbc news, President Trump told republican senators the house healthcare bill, which cuts some services, is mean. The Associated Press is reporting that to senators, the president referred to the house version of the American Healthcare act as, quote, mean, mean, mean. The president also reportedly calling the house bill, and i quote here, a son of a bitch. [ light laughter ] seth thats right, trump called the bill a son of a bitch. Even though he repeatedly praised the bill and celebrated its passage. Although at times he made it sound like he didnt actually know what was in it. We are coming up with something that i believe will be very good. A bill thats going to be a phenomenal bill. This is a great bill. This is a great plan. And this will be great healthcare. Were going to have something thats going to be much more understood and much more popular than people can even imagine. The plan gets better and better and better. And its gotten really, really good. And a lot of people are liking it a lot. [ light laughter ] this will be a plan where you can choose your doctor. This will be a plan where you can choose your plan and you know what the plan is. This is the plan. Its a complicated process, but actually its very simple. Its called good healthcare. [ light laughter ] seth you know that dream you have where you have to give an oral report to the class and you didnt study at all . [ laughter ] oh, the treaty of versailles, what a good treaty it was. People talk about treaties, but oh, man. [ laughter ] and i think thats my ten minutes. Its been eight seconds, jeffrey [ light laughter ] but this is one thing trump is actually right about, the bill is mean. In fact, this is a rare area bipartisan agreement. The bill is massively unpopular among both democrats and republicans. A poll out last found that only 17 of americans approve of the bill. And just 8 of americans think the senate should pass the healthcare bill as is. Meanwhile, the New York Times looked at polls in all fifty states and found that not one state favors it. This bill is less popular than the baywatch remake, but at least the baywatch remake had some healthcare in it. [ laughter and applause ] the bill the bill has even earned some sassy remarks from lawmakers on twitter. Like senator Bernie Sanders who tweeted, breaking Senate Republicans just released the schedule of hearings, committee markups and public testimony for their healthcare bill. With a photo of a blank piece of paper. [ light laughter ] thats either a sick burn or bernie just couldnt get the printer to work. What the hell is toner anyway . [ light laughter ] and bernie isnt the only one frustrated by the secretive process. Missouri senator Claire Mccaskill tried to find out if republicans would hold any hearings at all on their healthcare bill. A question that seemed to fluster utah senator orrin hatch. So my first question that i would make of the chair is, will we have a hearing on the healthcare proposal . Will we . Yes. I i think weve already had one, but no, i mean on the proposal that youre planning to bring to the floor of the senate for a vote. Will there be a hearing . What democrats have been invited to participate in this process and we are open to new ideas and suggestions well i dont know that theres going to be another hearing, but weve invited you to participate. Seth oh, man. That was like telling grandpa who someone is. This is kevin, joe and marys son. Oh. [ light laughter ] also, if there havent been any hearings then you havent invited them to participate. You should come to dinner tonight great, where do you live . Im not telling you [ light laughter ] so republicans are huddling behind closed doors to write a secret heathcare bill and the president is bogged down by an escalating scandal. June 14th will forever be remembered as the day we found out the president was under investigation. Or, if youre trump, itll be remembered as my birthday. [ laughter and applause ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] introducing a deodorant saving millions of clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. It wont let you down. I believe in me too. I am the unicorn of your confidence hey, leggo my eggo. Hat needs . Uh uh. Not ccc cause i have the and i i. Thats a lot. Raisins. Really . What just happened here . You know the rules. I make the rules. Know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Im doing this for you, dad. Thanks son. So, if anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now. coughs so sorry. Oh no. Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. 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Seth now, if youve got a chance to look at the paper this morning, you might have seen there was a new story on migrating tree frogs, and [ light laughter ] im sorry. I could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke. And that could only mean only one thing. Its time for ya burnt [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the burn zone. Weve got a lot of topics to sizzle through, but not a lot of time. Over here at the burner, lets turn up the gas and load er up. Woohooohooo sizzle me timbers [ light laughter ] first up ice cream trucks. Ah, the pied piper of diabetes. [ light laughter ] Nothing Better than a truck that gets kids immediately running out into the middle of the street. [ light laughter ] and, hey, why dont your popsicles look anything like the picture . Because my spongebob looks like he survived chernobyl. [ laughter ] also, ice cream trucks, would you quit playing that creepy jingle . Whats that song called anyway . Abduction in cmajor . [ light laughter ] ice cream trucks, better grab a freezie pop because ya burnt sandcastles hey, sandcastles. If i wanted to build something that would be completely gone the next day, i