Questlove 583 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] hey, hey enjoy yourselves. Welcome hey, hey please, please, please have a a seat hey, welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it you made it [ cheers and applause ] youre here thats what its all about. Hot show tonight. Hot show tonight. First, heres what people are talking about, you guys. Donald trump kicked off his big thank you tour last night in ohio. And i saw that his speech was on at the same time as the Charlie Brown christmas special. [ light laughter ] its nice because while kids are watching Charlie Brown christmas, their parents got to watch the great pumpkin. And you know [ cheers and applause ] [ as peanuts adult ] wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. [ laughter ] wah, wah, wah, wall. Wall, wall, wall, wall. [ laughter ] wall, wall, wall. Mexicans pay for it. [ cheers and applause ] its very interesting. And while kicking off his thank you tour, trump said, we spend too much time focusing on what divides us, and we need to embrace what unites us. Then he went back to visiting only the states that voted for him. [ laughter and applause ] but after that during his speech, trump joked that cars used to be made in michigan and you couldnt drink the water in mexico, but now cars are made in mexico and you cant drink the water in michigan. [ light laughter ] then he said, and why is it that we drive in the parkway but park in the driveway . You know what im saying . [ laughter ] women are different than men. What else is going on . [ laughter ] i noticed that at the end of his big rally last night, trump played the song, you cant always get what you want. [ laughter ] or as its now known, the national anthem. [ cheers and applause ] steve heyoh jimmy oh, you can do that. Steve ohhey [ applause ] oh oh jimmy and according to tmz, its possible that garth brooks will perform at Donald Trumps inauguration. Yeah. But dont confuse garth brooks and donald trump. One has friends in low places. The other grabs friends in low places. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] theyre different people. Dont confuse the two. Steve grab. [ laughter ] jimmy this is kind of weird, though. I read that a 2012 erotic novel entitled, trump tower, is actually sold at the gift shop in the building. And describes the sex lives of people who live and work there. Yeah. You can also purchase the audio book, and just a warning, its a little graphic. But take a listen to this. [ as trump ] jimmy chapter one. [ laughter ] we lock eyes from across the room. My heart pounds out of my chest as a single drop of sweat runs down my neck. [ laughter ] ive never been around such beauty. It is the most stunning selfportrait ive ever seen. [ laughter and applause ] chapter four, its 3 00 a. M. , i cant let go. I have to do it. The yearning is deep, so i reach my hand over and gently press tweet. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy okay. Steamy, steamy stuff. Steve whoo jimmy guys, yesterday, president obama lit the National Christmas tree for the last time. [ audience aws ] well, actually, he doused it in kerosene and flicked his cigarette while he walked out. [ cheers and applause ] but still, its very [ as obama ] im out. Im outie 5000. He said im outie 5000. Steve thats what he said. Im outie 5000. Jimmy i dont know. Thats what he said. [ light laughter ] speaking of christmas, a woman in North Carolina opened what she thought was a christmas gift, but was surprised to find four pounds of marijuana that was accidentally sent to her house. [ cheers and applause ] while somewhere, snoop dogg sent the day trying to smoke a a fruitcake. [ laughter and applause ] trying to smoke a fruitcake. Snoop dogg is trying to smoke a a fruitcake. [ laughter ] and finally, i saw that cbss annual telecast of rudolph the red nosed reindeer beat almost all other shows at 8 00 tuesday night. And that [ cheers ] yeah. That shows been airing for over 50 years. But somehow, its remained incredibly popular. I think this year, its because they updated it a little bit. They updated it. Take a look at this. Ho, ho, ho, what are you two doing . The mannequin challenge, biatch. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy there you go. You see they updated a little bit. We have a great show tonight. Steve wow jimmy give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my man, that is Rolling Stones keyboardist and music director Chuck Leavell sitting in with the roots tonight [ cheers and applause ] chuck, we love you, buddy. Welcome back. Always good to see you, buddy. Chuck is also the cofounder of the leading environmental website Mother Nature network. And his holiday album, whats in that bag, is out now. Thank you so much for being here, pal. Congrats on everything. [ cheers and applause ] appreciate it, man. What a joy. Jimmy sounds good. Thank you, sir. Jimmy sounds great as always, man. Guys, come back again next week. On monday, Annette Bening will be here, steve harvey will be here. [ cheers and applause ] were going to play a game of family feud. Plus, well have a performance from the hamilton mixtape, which is out. Steve oh. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it dropped. It dropped. Yeah, its out. Later next week, we have chris pratt, katie holmes, edward norton, Robert De Niro and Dwayne Johnson will all be joining us all this week. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and we got great music from john mayer, pharrell williams, and gary clark jr. The whole week. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight. We love it when this one stops by. Her netflix talk show just got picked up for a second season. The very funny, the awesome, Chelsea Handler is here tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love Chelsea Handler, come on. [ applause ] plus, this month, you can see him acting alongside emma stone and ryan gosling in the fantastic, unbelievable, new movie, la la land. Plus, he has a brandnew album thats just out right now. Its called darkness and light. The very talented john legend is dropping by. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hes a new dad, too. Congratulations, john legend. Darkness and light. Were going to talk to john, and then, hes going to perform his single, penthouse floor. Its going to be good tonight, yeah. I went to a i had a fun night last night. I went to see the bronx tale. Steve mmhmm. Jimmy a bronx tale. Its a musical. They made a musical out of the movie, chazz palminteri, Robert De Niro, it was great. Totally, it was fun. Sitting there, and i brought my mom and dad because they grew up around that time, in the 60s. But they werent from the bronx. Theyre from brooklyn. But either way, they get it. [ light laughter ] i usually dont take my parents. My moms one of those people neither one of them can hear. Steve right. Jimmy but they did theyre the noisiest people, and i didnt want them ruining the play opening night, you know . So, im sitting next to billy joel and, you know, in front of talia, Tommy Mottola was there. My mom starts she put her and in her purse and shes, like [ crinkling sounds ] [ laughter ] you know, im getting mad. Im getting i dont want to say anything because im like, eventually shell open it up. Whatever it is. Steve oh. [ laughter ] jimmy but its like a real sense scene in the play, and the fathers talking to the son about, you know, loving, being loved or feared and what you have to do when you grow up. [ crinkling sounds ] laughter ] i was gonna like flip it out of her hand. And go, stop it [ light laughter ] i thought Tommy Mottola was gonna go, hey, yo excuse me you know, or somebody or de niro was going to go [ as deniro ] hey, stop doing that, okay . Youre ruining this. [ laughter ] and finally, im about to flip, and she turns around, and her little hand turn to me, and i go, what . She goes, do you want an altoid . [ laughter ] first of all, i dont want an altoid. Second of all, how do you unwrap an altoid . [ laughter ] its in a tin. [ laughter ] steve its in a tin. Jimmy it comes in a tin box. A tin you dont unwrap anything, and i dont know how shes getting it shes like a sound effects person doing sound effects in her purse. [ applause ] an altoid. Steve that would be jimmy a piece of paper steve i would be, like, clink, clink, yeah. Jimmy that one little slip of paper. She was like making origami during the thing. Steve yeah. I thought she was gonna, you, like a swan. Jimmy i was gonna go, stop it do it somewhere else anyway, its a good play. [ laughter ] go see it. Steve dont take any jimmy my mom wont ruin it for you because she already did it for the people around us. Steve yeah. Jimmy but, go see it. If you like jersey boys and you saw that ten times, and you want to get your fix. This is good. Its doo wop, its fun stuff, but i did that last night. It was great. Congrats to those guys. So go check it out. If youre in new york city. [ cheers and applause ] steve altoid . Jimmy no. Steve their phone didnt ring, did it . Jimmy no, they both have pacemakers. [ laughter ] steve what . Jimmy nightmare. Steve im not gonna ask. Jimmy nightmare. [ applause ] if i hear it vibrating, i just know that my dads alive. Steve yeah. [ laughter ] jimmy when he laughs, he vibrates. [ laughter ] [ imitates vibrating ] oh, hes getting a really kick out of this one. Steve he loves that. He loves it. Jimmy he loves it. He loves it. [ laughter ] guys, todays friday. Thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. Steve yeah. Jimmy i check my inbox. I return some emails. [ cheers and applause ] i send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] so i was running a bit behind. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Id like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. James, can i get some thank you note writing music, please . [ laughter ] steve he seems distant. Jimmy hes doing like the mannequin challenge. Steve yeah. I challenge you. Jimmy he wins. [ laughter ] thank you, Rockefeller Center christmas tree, for being an old, bristly object that gets lit every christmas. Or as i call it, dad. [ laughter and applause ] [ imitates vibrating ] babababa dadangdidangdang dadingdadongding blue moon jimmy ive never see him have this much fun. [ imitates vibrating ] steve hes loving it. Jimmy hes loving it, man. Jimmy thank you, Mexican Restaurant in california thats making a threefootlong burrito called the anaconda. [ laughter ] just surprised its in a a tortilla. Because usually, the anaconda dont want none unless its got buns, hon. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh hey jimmy ho i like big buns [ laughter ] i like tortillas and i cannot lie [ laughter ] with salsa on the side [ laughter ] little bit of rice [ laughter ] jimmy all right. [ laughter ] i got fries [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, paper clips, for being great if you like the idea of staples but hate how effective they are. [ laughter and applause ] steve too much, too much. Jimmy too much. Steve im not that committed to these papers being together. Jimmy thank you, time magazine, for doing a a special on the 100 most influential images of all time. And including iconic photos like this one, this one, and of course this one. [ laughter and applause ] you see . [ laughter and applause ] thats jamess solo album. Steve yeah jimmy thats james solo album. Steve thats his solo album. Jimmy james solo album. Hes got a solo album now. Steve yeah. Jimmy not too long ago. Steve not too long in a a galaxy far, far away. Jimmy yeah. Its number one on the utunes list. Steve utunes . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] steve oh, you love utunes. Jimmy yeah, yous tunes. [ light laughter ] thank you, coworker who puts up mistletoe above their office door for basically announcing that youre not getting enough action at home. [ laughter and applause ] steve any ideas . Jimmy problems, patrick . Thank you, advent calendars, for being a really slow way to eat bad chocolate. There you go, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] those are my thank you notes. Well be right back with Chelsea Handler [ cheers and applause ] don and i met because im a volunteer for meals on wheels. We had an instant connection. What was that . I said, delivering to you is always a special treat. Oh. Company, companionship, food. We all need those things. When we get in that spot in life, its kind of nice to have em there. avo through the subaru share the love event, weve helped deliver over one point four million meals to those in need. Get a new subaru, and well donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. Put a little love in your heart. I love hot chocolate. I love making hot chocolate. Mocha. Peppermint. Extra minty. I tell my customers all the time, um, before you leave, i put a lot of love in that drink. laughs sip it before you go. laughs fios is not cable. Were wired differently. That means incredibly fast 150 meg internet for the holidays. So in the 3. 7 seconds it takes gary watson to beat the local sled jump record, fly, gary, fly. His friend can download 13 versions of the perfect song. His sister can live stream it. While his mom downloads how to set a dislocated shoulder. Get 150 meg internet, tv and phone for just 79. 99 per month online for the first year. Cable cant offer that. Only fios can. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by a multiple New York Times bestselling author and a very, very, very funny comedian whose netflix talk show, chelsea, is on netflix. It was just renewed for a a second season. Please welcome back to the show, our pal Chelsea Handler [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Chelsea, welcome back to the show. Standing ovation. Oh, my gosh. Jimmy they love you. We love you. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] did you get you got new furniture. Jimmy no, i didnt get new furniture. No. Oh. Jimmy its always been this. Is it blue . Jimmy a blue couch and the blue chair, yeah. No, i dont think it has. Jimmy yeah. No, i remember your sofas, i do. Jimmy what do you mean . This is exactly the same. Are you thinking of maybe i was thinking of another guy. [ light laughter ] jimmy my gosh. Hey sorry. Sorry. Jimmy oh, it happens. Please. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. Jimmy congrats on the pickup for season two. This is a big deal, this is fantastic. Yeah, i love jimmy well done. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy well deserved. Im having such a good time. I love doing my show. Im so fulfilled, and so happy. Jimmy you really are. You seem happy. I feel kind of happy all the time. Jimmy i feel the happiness through the tv when i watch you. Yes, it comes out, pulsating. Jimmy it really does, yeah. Its a vibrating [ laughter ] my dad loves it. [ talking over each other ] a lot of yes, a lot of older men. By the way, thats not embarrassing at all. A lot of older men, have like me. Thats like my demo. Young women, gay men, and then 70 plus. [ light laughter ] jimmy there you go. Thats my thats my dad. Yeah, i know. I know your dad. Jimmy yeah, oh, really . [ laughter ] but you do something different, that we cant really do with our show, and you kind of create a whole new type of talk show where you travel a lot. You go all over the place. Yeah, i like to travel, so i feel like i love to, you know, i love an adventure. I just dont and i find america, especially now, embarrassing, so i like to go to places. And if you can film wherever you go, all the people you can show that place to, that will never maybe have the opportunity to go there, like i and so ill go anywhere, as long as im being filmed. I wouldnt go to russia, like, on my own volition. I wouldnt be, like, oh, thats a fun town. Its not. Moscow. [ laughter ] jimmy you did not enjoy moscow, no. No, i cant stand russians. Jimmy its a blanket statement. Does anybody love them . I mean, come on. I have a sisterinlaw thats russian, but theyre a harsh group of people. [ light laughter ] jimmy no. They thats not oh whatever, you can be pc. I dont have to be. I cant [ bleep ] stand them. [ laughter ] jimmy what are you talking about . What are you talking about . That is such a lie. No, no, theres a couple that i like. By overall [ laughter ] jimmy what . Theyre heart theyre heartless. And the men are very big, and theyre very fat, and then and they smoke and the women all the russian women that everybodys talking about, theyre here. Theyre not in russia. [ light laughter ] they have, like, three good ones and they all came here. [ light laughter ] the problem was the food was like it was problematic. The food. So i could only have protein bars and vodka because i like that. [ laughter ] and by the way, russians gave us vodka, so thank you. Jimmy hey there you go. Thats the silver lining. Silver lining. [ applause ] love you guys. Jimmy now you love russia. Its all good. Its all good. Jimmy its all good, i take it all back, erased. And so but i jimmy well, indias going to be exciting. We went to india. I got to go to mexico city. That was a beautiful if you guys ever have a chance to go to mexico, go to mexico city. That is a beautiful city. And then we went to tokyo. I mean, there are so many beautiful places. So yeah, we get to go a lot. And we film it, and then the crew comes. Its so much fun. Jimmy but didnt you how much how big is your crew . Ours is like 200something people. I dont know, ive never met them. But jimmy youve never met them. [ laughter ] they they do great work. We have like when we travel, there are like 25, 30 people. And its fun. We go out every night. You know, we have fun. Jimmy it really looks like its looks like fun when you watch the show. Its like someones paying me to live my life. Jimmy and netflix is great. You love netflix, right . Yeah, i mean, not i cant say anything publicly about them, right . [ light laughter ] jimmy yes, you can. Yeah, of course. Arent we being recorded . Jimmy no, no, well edit all this out. Okay, take out the stuff about the russians. [ laughter ] jimmy the but netflix now, they have a thing where you can download everything, and just have it already i saw that on the news. Nobody even told me. Their like, you can now watch netflix on a plane. Im like, hey, heads up, i can tell you about that. Jimmy isnt that great . Yeah. Its so they can catch up on all your stuff, because its not like you have to watch your thing like in a row. You can actually i want to savor them, and have them, and go, oh, i want to check out chelsea when i want to watch it. Yeah, thats so great. I mean, netflix is amazing. Its revolutionary. They have so much programming, and, i mean, i dont want to be a netflix advertisement right now. I just jimmy i will be. I love watch like i love get