What Is Consent? How to Practically Apply Consent Before Sex

What Is Consent? How to Practically Apply Consent Before Sex


I get all kinds of questions from
Teen Vogue readers about the specifics of sex itself, but I don’t often get asked about how to employ consent in a sexual situation. Perhaps it’s because by the time most of your questions get to my inbox, something has already gone wrong. But for obvious reasons, it’s important to know about how consent works
before any type of sex occurs. This week, in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I’m taking the liberty of answering a crucial question: How, exactly, does consent work?
I can’t stress how essential this one concept is when it comes to sex. It is, in a fundamental way, the building block of everything that happens during a sexual encounter, from the first makeout to the final goodbye. It depends on what state you live in, but most schools aren’t mandated to provide a full explanation of consent. College students may get a workshop or two, but if you don’t go to college, there’s no real-world equivalent to a freshman orientation — so some people never go beyond the basics of “no” and “yes.” People often think of it in legal terms: Getting consent means you’re not sexually assaulting someone. But as any sex educator will tell you, consent is about a lot more than preventing rape.

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