She is the nation’s strict headmistress, the daughter of a market trader who became the stony-faced host of The Weakest Link and Countdown, giving short shrift to thickos and timewasters. He is a swashbuckling, public-school army aristocrat and friend of the Royal family, known for his charming manner and roving eye for the ladies – so much so that he has been nicknamed “Afternoon Delight”. She’s the Queen of Mean; he was once married to The Queen.