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Leave here, i ve lost everything. eddie newlin is in prison for manufacturing methamphetamine. when i look back at where i came from, i was the lower life of society. even though i didn t think i harmed nobody or done nothing wrong, running around sticking needles in my arms, leaving labs laying in the woods, having no real care about nobody but myself. if i go out there and get on drugs, there s no way i ll make it. i know that. there s no ifs, ands or buts. but if i use this program to my advantage and i get some good foundation and i meet some decent people, sooner or later, something will catch ahold. i believe that, anyhow. we can give them the tools here to deal with their addiction, but when they get out, they re still going to have to have a strong support system when they get out, or they ll relapse. they do need to have a family support system or some type of support system to hold them accountable when they get out. with ten months left on his sentence left, josey tu ....
Okay. for me, it s being in control. my whole life, i felt like i wasn t in control. but then when i had times when i do cut myself, i m in control of the situation. there are a group of people that self-injure when they come to prison as a way to control their level of pain, that when they re in so much pain that they don t know what to do, that they are starting to feel like suicide, that self-injury cuts their level of pain down, so it s pain control. self-injury really isn t bettering yourself. and sometimes people die. but i mean, it s just it s the survival tool that you developed. some people self-injure as a manipulation. they re not getting what they want and they self-injure and then everybody s attention is focused on them and people are more willing to do what they want because they self-injure. it s like a baby crying wanting his bottle. you give the baby his bottle because he s crying or change his diaper. me, you give me something sharp to hurt myself with, a ....
Self-injury and those sorts of things. so i think you re going to be heard more that way. all right. and i m proud of you for making that decision. i really am. i think you re doing the right thing. i ll be here for another little while, another 45 minutes at least if you need to holler at me again, please do so, all right? i ll be all right. i m just going up. nice to see you. all right, but if you do, you know where to find me, all right. all right. all right, man. see you later. all right. thanks. but even after marked progress, joe still has doubts as to whether or not he can function on the outside. this is all i know right now. this here is my world. this is what raised me. two years ain t far away. i m getting out in two years. if joe leaves prison from the rtu, an after-care program will be set up at an outpatient treatment center. you set and you think about it, it scares you sometimes. you don t want to fail. you want to go out there and do right. then a ....
Miss one of the biggest milestones in his life and have a really good reason to stay clean. my wife s due in two weeks. any time, it could be any day they should be giving me a phone call and letting me know whether it s born. so i m pretty excited about that. that s a big reason i want to stay clean, too. i have somebody else to take care of now. it s not just me anymore. i can t be selfish. it s my first offense. i m 21 years old. i had never been in trouble before in my life. i m here, and at least i m in a program that can help me. i thank god for that every day. it s a blessing in disguise. i got a little girl on the way, and i don t want to get back out there using. i will end up dead or back here. since the c.l.i.f.f. program has been operating less than one year, it s too early to tell how successful it will be but so far the signs are promising. we started seeing a lot of success already with some of the guys that started when we first opened. ....
Get in the shu. one such action that gets inmates sent to the shu is self-mutilation. i did that scar about ten years ago. i got it from the ankle all the way up to the hip bone, all the way down to the bone and i cut across sideways so the surgeons had to take about 12 hours to sew me up. you got seven layers of skin you got to go through before you get to the bone. and when you re going through one of them phases, you don t even feel the pain. you don t even know you re doing it. joe carr is serving an eight-year sentence for robbery. he is taking antipsychotic medication and under staff supervision, he agreed to tell us his story. i was anti-sociable. i didn t want to be around nobody. i didn t want nobody around me. i wanted to be by myself. everything made my angry. i would take a lot of it out of myself and then i would feel better. i was cutting myself up every day, every day, every day. so they ended up putting me in the shu for hurting myself. and then my time was up i ....