Okay. >> for me, it's being in control. my whole life, i felt like i wasn't in control. but then when i had times when i do cut myself, i'm in control of the situation. >> there are a group of people that self-injure when they come to prison as a way to control their level of pain, that when they're in so much pain that they don't know what to do, that they are starting to feel like suicide, that self-injury cuts their level of pain down, so it's pain control. >> self-injury really isn't bettering yourself. and sometimes people die. but i mean, it's just -- >> it's the survival tool that you d...