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Broadsheet is a satirical news and popculture website from Ireland, featuring original and credited material, updated every 15 minutes from 9am to 5pm GMT.

A quick word about two I admire. Doug Doughty, Roanoke Times sportswriter emeritus, kept detailed lists and oceans of statistics the old-fashioned way, on paper, long before such information became ubiquitous in digital form. My late mother, proud of her Scots-Irish heritage, often cited that society’s thrift as inspiration. “I’m too Scot to waste that,” she would say as the lesser cuts of beef went into the stewpot. In honor of Doughty’s respect for the statistical oddity and Mother’s waste-not-want-not counsel, today’s dispatch is presented. First, the sta...