Every State's Favorite Pickup Lines
“SOOOOO-IE!”
Source: theonion.com
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Top News In English Profanity Today - Breaking & Trending Today
R. Kelly Says He Doesn't Believe Any Allegations Against Diddy
Not really sure Kelly is the person you want coming to your defense but, hey.
Source: theroot.com
Insecure Prick Immediately Talked Into Upgrade
TACOMA, WA—Saying “Sure, man, let’s do it” in response to the suggestion he select a model that cost $750 more, local insecure prick Brent Linsky was immediately talked into an upgrade Monday, according to sources at an area Best Buy. “I’m definitely planning on having a lot of friends over, so if you think the…
Source: theonion.com
Jeffrey Wright Was Once Replaced for This Shocking Reason
The Emmy winner explains why he was replaced while dubbing 1999’s Civil War epic ‘Ride With the Devil.’
Source: theroot.com
Man Tragically Unaware He Possesses Among The Top 5 Most Beautiful Assholes In America
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY—Going about his daily life completely oblivious to his exceptional gift, area man Daniel Clark remains tragically unaware that he possesses one of the top five most beautiful assholes in America, sources confirmed Thursday. “Every single day this man wakes up, goes to work, and comes home without the…
Source: theonion.com