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How I learned that by trying to avoid sadness, I was only making it worse | Helen Russell

Bedridden, and unable to move, I realised that I had spent my life running from misery. It was time to confront it
‘Victorians embraced grief with gusto – exemplified by Queen’s Victoria’s mourning of her husband.’ Prince Albert’s funeral, 1861. Photograph: Print Collector/Getty Images
‘Victorians embraced grief with gusto – exemplified by Queen’s Victoria’s mourning of her husband.’ Prince Albert’s funeral, 1861. Photograph: Print Collector/Getty Images
Sat 8 May 2021 07.00 EDT
Last modified on Sat 8 May 2021 07.15 EDT
Propped up by pillows and turned at intervals, like a pork chop on a grill, I endured a period of enforced bed rest a few years back when my world shrank to four walls. During what doctors termed a “high-risk geriatric pregnancy” I was incapacitated, developing sores on my hips and tailbone (despite the flipping) and an overwhelming melancholy. ....

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The secret to happiness? Get better at feeling sad

Last modified on Thu 4 Feb 2021 07.21 EST
Sitting in a corner sobbing may not be everyone’s idea of a great start to the year, but learning how to feel your sad emotions could be the key to a happier 2021. People who cry typically experience fewer “negative aggressive feelings”, such as rage and disgust, than people who don’t, according to research from the University of Kassel in Germany in 2009. Similarly, a 2010 study from Indiana University Bloomington found that American footballers who cried reported higher levels of self-esteem, and were less concerned about peer pressure than their non-crying counterparts.
“We now know that crying is something all humans are programmed to do, and that tears serve a purpose,” says Ad Vingerhoets, an academic known as the “tear professor” from Tilburg University in the Netherlands. “Cortisol levels decrease in those who cry, since expressing ....

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