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Him will lick the makeup off.le sometimes i'll put it all over my o body. [laughter] >> oh, and i forgot, whenever he talks. >>[laughter] [applause] greg: i'm going to go to joe because, joe, you actually work on the y show, so it's not just g here, it's being in theng office. what is the hardest part? and be serious this time.at >>'s okay. well, aside from gnawing through the wrist restraints -- [laughter] i'd say it's probably having tom write 4,000 jokes about a canadian teacher with giant -- [laughter] [applause] greg: i would say you wouldn't have to to the write that manygi ifan you wrot...

Jeste -- jesse, do you mind? we're trying to do a show.nks. >> oh, right. these guys need all the help they can get. will have. [laughter] [applause] greg: thanks, joe. can well done.. joe, is living forever a worthwhile endeavor? a google nerd says having to die is now absurd. a former engineer is predicting mankind will achieve functional immorality within the nextma decade. i gueslls that means he'll never die a virgin. [laughter] nerds! yeah.gh ifte we achieve immortality witm the next decade, i thoughtde that's when the earth ends? so so where do we live. >> in i guess we could all crasu ...

Greg Gutfeld examines the news of the day through a satiric lens fused with pop culture.

They generally leaveuy me alone, but this guy came up and said i will give you $10,000 for your singlet after your match, and i was, like, well, i've got to wash, it -- and he's like, no, no, i just want it. and i was, like, say what? and he said, can i take a? picture of you in it and then have it? it's like, yeah, be gone. [laughter] >> that's, like, buffalo bill. >> no, that was almost end of japanese guy, but you get some weird, some weird stuff. can i have your hat, you know? greg: yeah, that's bad. next thing you know, you know,'s thing is it'd be great for you to go to japan and do a pr...

Property? >> once you put it out to beg: w picked up,st the up for grabs. which iss on good news because e been hoarding his garbage for years, so i'm sitting on a gold mine. ishe's a vegan, that's the most nutrition he's had in months.s. from greg yeah. [laughter] do you v see, tyrus, a commercis on fox h like with william deva, what do you have in your garbagy can?ouve >> i hope not. that's when i jump to cnn. la. [laughter] it's over. it's over. my ratings are so bad, we gotta sell dna of act ors. just to pay the bills? i'm bailing. i'm telling you right now, i'm pulling th e eject cord.g l...