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Greg: i get it what can you do. Happy tuesday. Greg: harris is in the middle of a media blitz doing the view, 60 minutes howard stern in front of more old then brian stelter s boxers. Your appearance on 60 minutes so bad biden turned over in his grave. She then went on the views saying she wouldn t have done anything different than biden in the last four years except pick a better vp. When the secret service patted down joy behar they found a pound to of bratwurst and kielbasa. She turned 82 yesterday and celebrated by eating pinata of sardines. No candles because whoopi goldberg might have broke wind. Jimmy fallon revealed he had harris saved as my dry cleaner. I could use one of those says one man. I wonder what alias harris has for tim walls and hit her phone. For the next week shell help the president make the transition from the oval office to his new home by the way what the hell was she wearing yesterday. Obviously it s a jacket from the charles payne collection. And gemma pentz ....
[applause] greg: yes! yes! i know. Awesome, thank you. In all honesty this success is getting kind of boring. [laughter] happy monday, everyone. This friday joker number 2 arrives in theatres and it is about a mentally ill man who terrorizes society with his mentally unstable female sidekick. But most if you have already seen it. You saw that one coming. Had the crowds like here we go. Earlier today president biden delivered remarks on the devastation caused by hurricane helene. He comforted victims by reminding them how he wants once survived the flood in an arc. Reportedly tim walz is nervous about tomorrow night s presidential debate. He has not been this nervous scents that time he ran out of tampons. Doug emhoff was told that he has a quote, reshape the perception of masculinity. In those days a guy like that might have talked to the into keeping the baby. [laughter] archaeologists in china have discovered a 36yearold mommy buried with pieces of cheese. One ticket to china, please ....
On the Judge Jeanine pirro, held for junior, Jesse Watters, and Aunt Scare her away at picnics, dana perino, the five. Harris and trump in a Battle Over whose policies will fatten your wallet. The Vice President in pittsburgh, thats in pennsylvania, dana, to outline her economic vision while suffering from another bout of middleclass kid syndrome. I grew up in a middleclass family. We need to grow our middleclass and make sure our economy works for everyone. For Donald Trump, our economy works best if it works for those who own the big skyscrapers. Not those who actually build them. We just need to move past the failed policies that we have proven dont work. Greg whe ....
Greg: yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I like my haircut. Happy tuesday, everyone. Scientists have discovered what they call a third state of existence. Somewhere between life and death. No kidding. Democrats responded to the second assassination attempt on trump by turning down the rhetoric by comparing the former president to mussolini. In a rare sign of unity, maxine waters has offered to schedule his next tee time. The biden a ministration has promised to beef up security for president trump. Using the same agents that protect kamala from reporters. A neighbor of the accused gunman says the family was weird and kept a live horse in their home. Further proof that the suspect was unstable. [ laughter ] greg: it s okay to boo that one. I felt the same way. An investigation into the immigrant crisis in springfield, ohio reveals that auto accidents have increased four fold. I did not know the haitians were all women. Rfk junior is being investigated for allegedly cutting off the head ....