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Can I refuse to go to my brother s wedding? Our reader s brother is getting married in the same venue where she wed her now ex-husband. She asks The Midults whether she can pull out 21 May 2021 • 12:00pm My brother s fiancée (who I have yet to meet) is insisting that it’s her big day and her dream wedding venue Credit: Martin Tognola Dear A&E, My brother is getting married and they have decided to use the same wedding venue where I married my now ex-husband. It was a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce and three years on, I’m single and still feel shaken by the whole experience. I’ve talked to my brother but his fiancée (who I have yet to meet) is insisting that it’s her big day and her dream wedding. My parents think I should rise above it all, but I know I’ll find it hugely upsetting. So can I pull out? I’m really confused about what is reasonable and what is hysterical. Wretched ....
I was gaslighted by my ex. Should I confront him? Our reader has been thinking about her abusive ex - and is considering whether to confront him for closure. She asks The Midults for advice 26 February 2021 • 12:00pm I can see now that I was being manipulated by my ex, but I don’t know whether to confront him Credit: Alberto Miranda Dear A&E, I’ve been in a happy relationship for three years, but recently I’ve started thinking about my ex. I’ve realised I was a victim of gaslighting without knowing it. He once left me on the hard shoulder while we were driving home from a restaurant because he said I’d been ‘too friendly’ towards a waiter, and he kicked me out of bed one night after I told him I loved him but ‘didn’t sound convincing’. Afterwards he always said I drove him to it, so I’d apologise. I can see now that I was being manipulated, but I don’t know whether to speak to him about it? It would help me get closure, but e ....
One reader is longing for a little more alone time. Credit: ALBERTO MIRANDA Dear A&E, My husband of 35 years is driving me mad. We were OK-ish during the first lockdowns, but now cabin fever has hit. I’m so cooped up and have run out of things to say to him. We also keep arguing as he insists on strolling to the shop daily for wine or chocolate, whereas I’m trying to limit our shopping to once a week to minimise risk. I find this selfish, he thinks I’m overbearing. We can’t agree what to eat, what to watch and have retreated to separate rooms; when we do come together, everything is an exhausting battle. Help. ....