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I've known very few real Iowans. I know people who live there now but are from the Twin Cities, but I've only met a handful of native Iowans. One of them is a dear friend, most are only vague acquaintances. Six of them were landlubbing pirates of no value to humanity whatsoever.1 But I'm sure Iowans are mostly wonderful people who are well intentioned, hard working, intelligent, and are just as good as anyone else. ....

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