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This is the colbert report. cheers and applause stephen right there, welcome to the report, everybody, good to have you with us. Stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen thank you ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for being here. Folks, i cannot tell you how much i appreciate you being here. cheers and applause folks, thank you so much. For that energy and thank you so much for being here on this quite possibly the last episode of the colbert report. Listen, i planned, i planned youre a little late. I planned on going till middecembe...

[audience reacts]. Jon by pork i assume the gentleman was referring to local constituents. One senator pointed to her waist and squeezed her stomach and said, dont lose too much weight. I like my girls chubby. Jon dont get too porky. I like my girls chubby. Even when it comes to sexism, the senate is gridlocked. They cant make any progress [cheering and applause] they cant get anything done. Luckily theres always one asshole left. To break the tie. The prize comment, she writes, came from a southern congressman, who said, as he held my arm, you know, kirsten, youre even pretty when youre fat. ...

First we turn to washington, d. C. , home of our nations most respected institutions and also the government. Americans have a very low opinion of congress, and this next story probably so s not going to help that very much. Jon oh, crap. What did congress do this time . What did they kill a veterans bill to make a food about food stamps or outlaw tan because the president wore the color . What did that kick a puppy in an elevator . What did they do . New yorks junior senator Kirsten Gillibrand says shes been the target of some very inappropriate sexist comments right in the halls of congress....

Jon welcome to the daily show. Im jon stewart. My guest is on the Zach Galifianakis will be joining us. The excited news can look who is here. She made it to the show. [cheers and applause] jon a gentleman in the audience with his wife of 25 years. Only one ticket was left. Here is my impression of him at the time. I dont know her theyre boeing here together. We saved their relationship. Well, im just happy. But first its time for a daily showy bowl a update. Brought to you by arbys. Arbys. A lot of things cause diarrhea. [laughing] jon really no reason for that. All they do is send us platter...

Actually pronounced lithgo. laughter olive garden is introducing a 100 allyoucaneat pasta pass that lasts seven weeks. Though, technically the last two weeks are for your next of kin. laughter this is the colbert report. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central eagle caw cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome to the report, good to have you with us audience chanting Stephen Stephen thats absolutely right that is my name thank you so much cheers and applause thank you, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause folks, i think if you guys werent ut there chanting my n...