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Oh, oh, what was i thinkin about, honey . I was thinking about us course i was picturin us walking hand in hand down the paris streets. Were eatin warm chocolate croissants, sippin a cappuccino. Snowflakes start to fall. I pull you close, give ya a kiss. Then its back to the four star hotel for a foot rub till you fall asleep. But thats not whats going on up here. No, you know whats going on up here . Pornography yeah [cheers, whistles applause] constant. Constant Sexual Activity with every woman ive ever seen, heard of, thought about. I do a mr. Potato head thing where i mix and match em all....

Stephen thats it for report, everybody. Good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central frm Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon hey, everybody, wrel come to the daily show. Welcome the daily show. My name is jon stewart. You may have noticed our brand new show open. [cheers and applause] i think my guest tonight is astro physicist neil. Degrasse tyson. A learned man, a man of the universe. The last time he was on the program, perhaps the time before that,...

Thank you, again, to doug benson. At get tickets to my new spring tour, follow me on twitter, and as a show blog. We will see you next week, before i go, lets take a look back at the best moments from tonights show. Come on, come on, little buddy, you can do this. Youve got this. One more step, and you did it. You did it. Come here. So proud of everything you have done everything. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Oh, memories, good night, kids. Go read a book. Comedy central frm comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york...

Its cause these girls wont sleep with these dudes until they get married, which is fine. Ladies, if you want to reserve your poon, god bless you, okay . [ laughter ] i like 25yearold scotch, so i understand the theory. [ laughter and applause ] if you want to wait for the one, then wait for the one, but you cannot put an obstacle in front of it. You cant say to someone that you got to do this to get this, cause a 20yearold boy virgin is not gonna consider the repercussions of his actions. If you put an obstacle in front of a 20yearold virgin and tell him that sex is on the other side [bleep] i...

Well, next week. Follow me on twitter so we can open up a dialog during the prerecorded show and keep up on the one blog that doesnt hate me at tosh Comedy Central dot come and visit our store to get our your Christmas Shopping done in july and brickleberry starts september 25. Theres one for the character i havent introduced you to yet. Do you want to meet him . Yes. Tosh all right. It looks like a classic. And finally a few weeks ago i invented brand new internet challenges and asked you to come up with better ones but of course you did not. Fail. Epic fail. So here the best of the worse. Th...