Page 5 - Program Ambassador News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

[ laughter and applause ] you guys have been great. This next joke is gonna be my last joke, and i dont think im giving anything away here when i tell you its amazing. [ laughter ] good news, everybody. My little brother was just awarded his black belt in tae kwon do. [ laughter, cheers and applause ] yeah. Thank you. Hell be happy to hear that. And the entire family was really proud of him, you know . But im a little conflicted about it, cause hes my little brother. I used to be able to just toss him around, but now ive got to hit him with a pipe. [ laughter ] thank you very much. You guys ar...

Were gonna get to show. But what really makes it special is the part where one of em takes out a Utility Knife and repeatedly jams it up qaddafis ass. If they can do that to a world leader, i might as well do it to the people who work on my show, in a new segment called qaddafid. Everybody in the writers room. G gaddafi. Gaddafi. I just got gaddafied. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Gaddafi. Ah, one of those felt so right. A big thanks to qadaffi for dying so we could do that bit. Send in your own qaddafiing videos and maybe well put them on the air. All right, time to wave goodbye. See you next we...

[cheers and applause] stephen s th captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song playing] dhawz. [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a very nice program for you tonight. My guest ambassador to to unitee United Nations susan rice is here. We dont know how we got her on the program but perhaps its a valentine...

You think youre a god . Im the one whos thriving, dennis. I mean, look at me. You look like youre covered in hawaiian punch. Yeah . Yeah. Mm. I am the god of my own universe, charlie. I decide my own reality, and ive decided all of your realities as well. So, you see, i unplugged it. You. Unplugged reality . I dont understand what hes saying. Me neither. I justi deleted all of your characters from the game. What . I erased all your. People. Hhow did you do that . Well, it was easy. You guys all have the same password paddyspub. Oh, thats my password for everything. Mine too. Why would you do t...

Ooh kyle cease kyle cease kyle cease thank you so much. I love you guys. Thank you so much. Youre a fantastic crowd. Yeah, thats right. Thats right, bitches. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, you guys. Captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mccaption. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music[daily show theme song playing] dhawz. [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a ...