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NEAR Victoria railway station you will find a florist who sells pink roses, hydrangeas, lisianthus and phlox. Rishi Sunak should ditch his meetings, go there and buy a large bouquet for Diane Abbott.
A police car is driving at top speed through Fort William. It swerves violently to avoid a military roadblock, before a man in a kilt wielding a Kalashnikov opens fire, killing the driver.
When the Commons goes on the offensive you expect opposition MPs to kick up the din. Not this time. Labour, Lib Dem and Scots Nat benches were near-empty.
The MoS was told that potential parliamentary candidates were being secretly asked if they would back a Labour Budget even if Starmer refused a key Scots Nats' demand on family benefits.
QUENTIN LETTS: Histrionics. Alarums. Bulged eyeballs. Sir Keir called ministers a bunch of 'cowboys' and said children in schools were 'cowering under steel girders'.