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Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment of zen. I think everyone will agree its been a wonderful inaugural ceremony, a delicious lunch, but its now time to head to the next happy stop, the captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] stephen boom thank you so much. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report begun everybody. Thank you for joining us. [crowd chanting stephen] what are you going to do with these people . Good for you. Sit down, everybody. [cheers and applause] folks folks weve got a great show tonight. Please, weve got ...

Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment of zen. I think everyone will agree its been a wonderful inaugural ceremony, a delicious lunch, but its now time to head to the next happy stop, the captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] stephen boom thank you so much. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report begun everybody. Thank you for joining us. [crowd chanting stephen] what are you going to do with these people . Good for you. Sit down, everybody. [cheers and applause] folks folks weve got a great show tonight. Please, weve got ...

I guess my jokes could be better, but im not willing to put the work in. Plus Comedy Central wont put enough money into the bits we do, so the production value sucks. And finally, its [bleep] impossible to clear a lot of the clips that we want to put on air. Not everything can be fair used, you know . Was that over 140 characters . [exhales] [applause] why have you stopped showing vomiting in each episode . It adds a lot of character to the show. [retching] [audience oohs] youre welcome. Why is john cusack so amazing . [bleep] you. Did you have sex with the sex doll from tonights sode . Dont c...

Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment of zen. I think everyone will agree its been a wonderful inaugural ceremony, a delicious lunch, but its now time to head to the next happy stop, the captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] stephen boom thank you so much. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report begun everybody. Thank you for joining us. [crowd chanting stephen] what are you going to do with these people . Good for you. Sit down, everybody. [cheers and applause] folks folks weve got a great show tonight. Please, weve got ...

I know. Okay. Out of time. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] stephen boom thank you so much. [cheers and applause] welcome to the report begun everybody. Thank you for joining us. [crowd chanting stephen] what are you going to do with these people . Good for you. Sit down, everybody. [cheers and applause] folks folks weve got a great show tonight. Please, weve got to get to it. [cheers and applause] i understand the excitement because weve got a great show for you tonight. My guest is dustin hoffman, director of the new movie ...