>> mr. guy said you were trying to be zoic, do you recall those questions? >> doicht. >> were you as calm as you are today? >> no. >> were you calm, as you are sitting next to the table next to me? >> no. >> were you as calm as when you were sitting at your son's wedding table? >> no. >> were you as calm -- let me rephrase that. >> what was your mental state that day. the next morning. >> i was -- it was like an out-of-body experience, trying to process what happened. you know, we were upset when it was just a shooting and now that we found out there was a fatality, we were crazy with grief. >...