Dear Prudence,
Eight years ago, I was in a secret relationship with my first love, a man who emotionally abused me for the entirety of our three-year relationship. (This was my first gay relationship.) We were part of the same circle of friends, and “Jon” swore me to secrecy. No one knew, except for my best friend, whom I confided in. Jon’s abuse led me to contemplate suicide. I finally broke things off, moved away, went to therapy for years, and am now happily engaged. My fiancé just got transferred back to Jon’s city. My old group of friends is thrilled that I’m moving back, but I feel sick. Jon and I went no-contact a few years ago, and I don’t know if he knows about my return. I’m dreading having to navigate hanging out with my old friends if Jon is there. Asking them not to invite him would mean revealing our old relationship. I definitely want to make new friends, and I’m not putting all my eggs in this friend group’s basket, but I know this is something I’ll have to confront eventually. What should I do?