Washington -- Have you seen John Forbes Kerry's face lately? Who stole his lines? No, I am not talking about his lines, as in his joke lines. President Joe Biden's special envoy for climate has, in fact, never told a joke in his life, notwithstanding the jocose nature of his official title, which, by the way, allows him Cabinet-level rank. Seriously, he never laughs. He is what psychiatrists call an agelast. He never laughs or jokes or even snickers. Truth be known he is the perfect prig, and someone stole his lines.
I am referring to the lines that used to etch his marmoreal face. Someone has stolen the lines in his face, even the crags and crevices that once defined this 77-year-old's face. Frankly, I think he has fallen into the hands of a cosmetic surgeon of questionable ethics. His face looks even smoother and more cherubic than a baby's bottom. I wonder if he has also had a tummy tuck. We shall have to wait for him to go windsurfing this summer off Martha's Vineyard or while at an international environmental conference, possibly off Monte Carlo. I shall advise my research staff to be on the alert. Kerry's new position overseeing the environment should be a hoot.