Announcement its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Hillary Rodham clinton. And emma stone. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody please, have a seat. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause now, folks thats nice. Weve been on the road for the past week. Its great to be back home. Speaking of traveling, donald trump donald trump is on a trip to a very hostile region new york city. cheers and applause hes hes applause they love a hometown boy. Hes in town because this morning, he gave his First Official address at i want to say, Starfleet Academy . laughter radical klingon extremists. They violated the neutral zone. We had no choice. Of course, the president gave us a preview of his u. N. Speech yesterday, telling reporters he plans to make the United Nations great. Not again. Make the United Nations great. So not maga. Its mungnumung. cheers and applause its not the name. Its no secret donald trump has never liked the u. N. Hes been very clear about it. Back in 2012, he tweeted the cheap 12inch square marble tiles behind speaker at u. N. Always bothered me. I will replace with beautiful large marble slabs, if they ask me. laughter theyre not going to ask you. laughter you know what they talk about at the u. N. , right . Theyre going to ask you to send soldiers to uganda, not sconces to the lobby. Of course, the u. N. Was founded after world war ii in the hopes of creating a lasting peace. So, naturally, the highlight of the president s speech was threatening thermonuclear war. The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, well have no choice but to totally destroy north korea. Stephen and, yes, yes, destroying north korea would also destroy south korea, which is why im encouraging everyone in south korea to evacuate to east or west korea. laughter immediately. And the and trump doubled down on his new nickname for kim jongun. Rocket man is on a Suicide Mission for himself and for his regime. Stephen rocket man . laughter mr. President , please dont give our enemies nicknames that make them sound cooler i will destroy commander jetpack and admiral ice cream sex machine. laughter and trump had a major complaint for the u. N. Were not getting our moneys worth. The United States is one out of 193 countries in the United Nations, and yet, we pay 22 of the entire budget, and more. The United States bears an unfair cost burden. But, to be fair, if it could actually accomplish all of its stated goals, especially the goal of peace, this investment would easily be well worth it. Stephen hes right. Were paying top dollar, and were nowhere near world peace. I mean, i just saw some guy at the podium say hes going to destroy north korea laughter and donald trump called on the world to look to america for inspiration. The greatest in the United States constitution is its first three beautiful words. Stephen hes only read the first three words. laughter lets see, lets see here. cheers and applause lets see what we got. Lets see what we got here. We the people how long is this . Is there an audio book or anything like that . Ill paraphrase it later. Now, the most awkward moment had to have been when he brought up venezuela. The problem in venezuela is not that socialism has been poorly implemented but that socialism has been faithfully implemented. Stephen i said, faithfully implemented. is this on . Is this is this so, you know who was also there at the u. N. Today, because theyre there every year. Its trumps buddies from russia. And there are some stunning new developments in the investigation. We learned over the weekend that Trump Lawyers are clashing over how much to cooperate with the russia inquiry. If only those Trump Lawyers were around when he decided how much to cooperate with russia. According to sources, the battle russia fans no, thats all right. No saber dance. No saber dance. According to sources, this battle pits white House Counsel and bass player of your dads band, donald mcgann, against trumps personal lawyer and man leading highstakes zeppelin race to siam, ty cobb. Cobb wants to give mueller as many documents as possible in hopes of getting the investigation over with quickly, while mcgann worries about setting a precedent that would weaken the white house long after mr. Trumps tenure is over. Yes, thats how trumps going to weaken the white house too much honesty. laughter that is kind of interesting news. How did we learn this . How do we know this is true . Well, we learned it straight from the mouth of trump lawyer and frontier dentist whos all gussied up for the barn dance, ty cobb. A New York Times reporter overheard cobb talking about the russia probe at a washington steakhouse. Either that, or the reporter confused cobb with the steakhouses mascot. How careless is this guy . Youre a lawyer just out there mouthing off in public where anyone can hear you . Thats like your therapist going out in the waiting room and saying guess whos having sex dreams about his cousin again . Pretty racy stuff. laughter but running his mouth in public isnt the biggest mistake made by trump lawyer and Wilfred Brimley tribute head, ty cobb. Cobbs biggest blunder is that the steakhouse is on the same block as the New York TimesWashington Bureau. Its 171 steps away from the Washington Bureau of the New York Times. Dont go to the same place that people eat who are out to get you. Thats like shaving in a shark tank while wearing a vest of pork chops. Oh, and this is huge. This is huge. We also just learned that the government wire tapped former Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort, both before and after the election. This means cheers and applause sure, sure, absolutely. You applaud until they wiretap you. laughter this means manafort was under federal investigation when he interviewed to become Trumps Campaign manager. Okay, mr. Manafort, what would you say is your biggest weakness . Well, sometimes i think i work too hard. Oh, and treason. laughter now, we already manafort fans here tonight, evidently. We already knew the f. B. I. Conducted a predawn raid of manaforts house back in july, but now weve learned that instead of knocking, federal agents picked the lock on his front door, which required prosecutors to persuade a federal judge that mr. Manafort was likely to destroy evidence. Were not sure what they presented to the judge to prove that, but im going to say it was this picture. laughter whos that . applause those documents . Yes, i think i left them in the furnace room. Ill be right back. Now, if this seems like an aggressive investigation, according to one expert, mueller is setting a tone. Its important early on to strike terror into the hearts of people in washington. Yeah, youve got to set a tone early in washington. Thats why, on the first day of every session, Mitch Mcconnell walks up to the biggest guy in the senate and just shivs him. laughter yeah. Yeah. Or else mitch is sweet meat, man. Yeah. Theyre making turtle soup. laughter legal experts legal experts its not a metaphor. Its actual soup. Legal experts say muellers investigation is moving with unusual speed. Okay, thats nice. Heres the thing. We dont need unusual speed. We need high speed. We need maximum warp. Im talking, im talking applause star trek call back is that what that is. Yeah. Im talking law order speed, okay, like this sir, i can ask you a few questions . Of course. Fruit stands open at 2 00 a. M. , just like everyone elses. What do you know about a man named Paul Manafort . Manafort . Never heard of him. Oh, wait. Was a guy come by last week with his buddy dont remember the name. Blond hair, president of the United States. Last name clump, or dump, Something Like that. Anyway, on his way out, he leaves behind this file labeled, secret russia collusion plan. Dont ask me. Im just a guy unloading cantaloupes. Guilty. cheers and applause stephen we have a great show for you tonight. Emma stone is here. But when we come back, i will sit down with Hillary Rodham clinton. Stick around. band playing when youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Do not use if you are allergic to taltz. Before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. Taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. Or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. Inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz. Including worsening of symptoms. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Nows your chance at completely clear skin. Just ask your doctor about taltz. Ayep, and my teeth are yellow. . Nows your chance at completely clear skin. Time for whitestrips. Crest glamorous White Whitestrips are the only adaaccepted whitening strips proven to be safe and effective. And they whiten 25x better than a leading whitening toothpaste. Crest. Healthy, beautiful smiles for life. When it comes to molding sarah is ayoung minds, teacher. Nobody does it better. She also builds her own fighting robots. Destroy. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. Fortunately for sarah, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Its simple, so she can understand the details and be sure shes getting the right mortgage. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. band playing cheers and applause stephen give it up for the band, everybody, jon batiste and stay human right there cheers and applause jon as you guys know, as you guys know, we were gone last week because we were prepping for the emmys out los angeles, california, big city of dreams. And jon and the band were out there, too. You guys actually warmed up the audience. You were doing a love riot, right . Jon we were doing a love riot all through there, moving through the pretty dresses and tuxedoes, getting people hyped, jumping on the seats, and then we started the show, and you did a great job. Stephen did you have fun . Did you have fun . Jon i had a great time. The weather was nice, but im glad to be back here doing the show. Stephen absolutely, im glad to be here. It was fun. Ive got to say, im lucky enough to go to a bunch of these. It was the most fun ive ever had at the emmys, and ive won emmys before. laughter we lost we lost the emmys on sunday night. But you know what . No, its okay, because we lost to a dear friend, john oliver at last week tonight. cheers and applause theyre an incredible show. If youve got to lose, you have to lose to somebody you really admire. A bunch of people in that category i wouldnt mind losing to. And i know i made a joke after he won, or they won, with jimmy kimmel, where i said, theyre so good, they can only do one a week. But the truth is, they only do one a week. laughter but thats not on them. Theyre not lazy. Theyre working hard. Were insane doing five a week. Weve got the problem. Not them. cheers and applause so mwah youre the best. Officially. Please, have a seat. Please, have a seat. Folks, i am terribly excited because she was first a first lady, then a senator, then secretary of state, and i would have bet anything the next president of the United States. Please welcome Hillary Rodham clinton cheers and applause cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen thank you so much oh, stephen, its good to see you. Stephen its good to see you. Its an honor to have you here. Thanks. Stephen you have a new book. Its called what happened. laughter and i dont know how else to start this interview, other than saying what happened . laughter wow. Stephen what what happened . Well, thats the question i try to answer. Stephen okay. Yeah, because it was a question i asked myself starting on Election Night. And i started stephen what time on Election Night . laughter well, as i write in the book, midnight. Stephen yeah. Midnight. Stephen i remember. The dark time of the soul, midnight. Stephen yeah. Im waiting for it to not be midnight soon. Yeah, right. And so i i was asking it like you just said, what happened and i figured, maybe id better try to find out and figure it out. So thats why i dove into this book. It was very painful and difficult. But at the end, i really feel like ive done my very best to lay out what happened so that it doesnt happen again. I mean, thats my primary goal here that it doesnt happen again. applause stephen well, a lot of people have said, oh, boy, i wish Hillary Clinton would just go away. Yeah. Stephen just go away. Well, you know, if theyd take up a collection and send me somewhere really nice. Stephen really . I might consider it. Stephen obamas on David Geffens yacht a lot. You could go with him. Well, i am not going anywhere. cheers and applause stephen well, im glad youre not. cheers and applause cheers and applause i agree. At first, i could understand some of those calls. People saying, like, the republicans are tearing themselves apart. Dont give them someone to rally around in opposition to, because you were a convenient figure for them to unite against. Right. Stephen but i actually do not think thats how what is happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think its people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises of the progress of the last 50 years that will save this country. Thank you so much. I agree completely. Absolutely completely. Stephen but, wait a second. It must not have been easy. No. Stephen it must not have been easy to write this book. It wasnt easy. I mean, it was painful. It was horrible reliving it. And, you know, being as candid, open as i could be about the mistakes i made and talking about those. But, also, trying to come to grips, as i write in the book, about everything from, you know, sexism and misogyny, to voter suppression, to the unusual behavior of the former director of the f. B. I. , and the russians, and the russians. And you have been sounding the alarm about this, because i believe so strongly that they think they succeeded in messing with our democracy. And i just cant abide that. So stephen do you think they succeeded in messing with our democracy . Yes, i do, i do, i do. Stephen to what degree, influencing the vote or influencing opinion . Influencing voters, and, therefore, influencing opinion i think is becoming clearer and clearer. I dont know what the congressional investigation and i dont know what the special counsel investigation are going to find. Im going to wait for that. But i dont think anybody can with a straight face say that the russians did not set out to influence our election, and they did so. This latest revelation about the way they bought ads on facebook and targeted them, were going to find out a lot more, stephen. And i am saying as clearly as i can i feel like im a bit of a, you know, paula revere. Im trying to sound the alarm about this. Is that applause you know, youve got to understand what putins strategy is. He really doesnt like democracy. He thinks its an inconvenient, messy process. And he doesnt like us, and he wants to destabilize our country, sow doubt about our democracy. These latest revelations where you had russians pretending to be americans. Fake americans with fake news and fake stories and fake demonstrations. That wasnt just because hes bored and has nothing to do. He wants to undermine how we see each other, how we respect each other, how we support our institutions and our society. So i think that they believe they had a good outing in 2016, and i think they will be back in 2018 and 2020, unless we stop them. Stephen now you mentioned applause . That putin doesnt like democracy and he doesnt like america. Part of the speculation is that he specifically doesnt like you. Do you think this was personal on a certain level . I think it was mostly about the role i played as secretary of state, which he did morph into a grudge against me because i would say things like, you know, the russian people deserve free and fair elections. They deserve to have a democracy. Stephen questioning the legitimacy of his election in 2011. The parliamentary elections, thats right. And so our Intelligence Community and others have said that he did have a personal grudge against me. You know, i dont take it personally. I think its part of his world view which is all tied up with his anger, his disappointment in the collapse of the soviet union, and his feeling that were his number one rival. He wants to really undermine the europeanamerican alliance. And so i see it as you know, i was doing my job. I was honored to do my job, to stand up and speak out on behalf of American Values and our democracy. And partly because im a woman, which does seem to get him a bit agitated. laughter applause and he actually has said that. Some things about that. Stephen did he ever say anything to you personally that demonstrated his well, he demonstrated as i write in the book, you know, theres an expression, we certainly know it in new york, called man spreading. laughter stephen yes. applause and every time i met with him, it would be. Okay. The whole deal. And so id go to meetings with him one in particular, we were in his dacha outside of moscow. And the press comes in, and he just berates america about one of the many things that annoys him about us. And then the press leaves, and ive got four or five things were trying to deal with him and russia on. And i always came to my meetings with him trying to find something that i could actually engage him about. So we went through, you know, the economy and human rights and all these other things that are critically important and he was, you know, like as president obama once said, like the bored guy in the back of the room, couldnt care less. Then i said, you know, i am really pleased to hear that you care about wildlife conservation, and that you are trying to save species in russia, like siberian tigers and polar bears. Then he came alive. And then we had an interesting conversation. Stephen i wrestle polar bears. laughter no, he said to me he said, come with me. He takes me down the stairs, down this corridor, into the door all of his security guys are jumping up because we werent expected into this inner sanctum with this huge desk and the biggest map of russia, i think, exists. And he started telling me hes going here to tag polar bears. And then he says to me, would your husband like to come . And i said, well, you know, ill ask him, but if hes busy, ill go. laughter cheers and applause stephen were going to take a little break. When we come back, secretary clinton and i just might break out the chardonnay. cheers and applause ive asked chase sapphire reserve cardmembers to find my next vacation. Uganda, what are you up to . Thats a real silverback gorilla. Im freaking out 3x points on travel and restaurants. Sapphire reserve, from chase. Make more of whats yours. When i walked through a snowthats when i knewtte, i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. The volkswagen atlas. With available pedestrian monitoring. Lifes as big as you make it. Starbucks narino 70 cold brew coffee. In stores now. Only at starbucks. Yo and you probably do. Rt youre a beautiful thing. Sc johnson. Watch this watch this watch this watch this jack this ridiculously long table in the middle of nowhere . Jack to invite all my friends in the industry to try this. Jack fast foods first ever ribeye burger. Jack made with 100 ribeye beef, grilled onions, a red wine glaze and creamy havarti cheese. Jack ahh, here comes the competition now. Jack and of course, since they work for my competitors, ive obscured their identities jack except for this guy. Jack he is so screwed. Jack try my new havarti grilled onion and allamerican ribeye burgers. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Were here with secretary Hillary Rodham clinton talking about her new book what happened. Now, one of the things that happened is, as you said, its clear the russians were trying to influence our election. You said when you were on with terry gross on npr, if its proven, if theres a deeper connection, some sort of collusion between the Trump Campaign and russia, that would be grounds to question the legitimacy of the election of the president of the United States. cheers and applause my question is, my question is i mean, i have these fantasies, but my question is seriously my question is what then . There is no constitutional mechanism to question the election. No. Stephen our elections are messy. Thats right. Stephen this is just what happened. So as i say in the book, yeah, right. laughter nobodys talking about contesting the election, including me. But i do think no, because there is no mechanism. Stephen this is someone who believes in the constitution, unlike the guy who got the job. Yeah, there is no mechanism. applause but i think legitimacy is rooted in what comes out of these investigations, because if there is evidence of coordination, communication whatever it might be then i think millions of americans are going to say, well, those raise questions about legitimacy. Now, what do you do with those questions, besides ask them . What you do is mobilize politically to express your will and your rejection of that kind of russian involvement and coordination at the ballot box. I mean, that is where we settle our political differences. cheers and applause and thats where it should be. Stephen i i agree. Did you happen to see the president s speech at the u. N. Today . I saw parts of it, yes. Stephen what did you what did you make of it . I thought it was very dark, dangerous, not the kind of message that the leader of the greatest nation in the world should be delivering. applause you are both you are both required to stand up for the values of what we believe in democracy and opportunity as a way to demonstrate clearly the United States remains the beacon that we want it to be, while, of course, when you face dangerous situations like what is happening in north korea to make it clear your first approach should always be diplomatic. What i hoped the president would have said was something along the lines of, we view this as dangerous to our allies, to the region, and even to our country. We call on all nations to work with us to try to end the threat posed by kim jongun. And not call him rocket man the old elton john song, but to say, clearly, we will not tolerate any attacks on our friends or ourselves. But you should lead with diplomacy. You should lead with the commitment of trying to avoid conflict, however you can. applause stephen one of the things that you say in the book is that in recovering from this and while writing the book, you leaned heavily on chardonnay. laughter so i was wondering whether you would you care for. cheers and applause yeah, sure. Absolutely. Well, yeah, yeah, there were a few other things, but this helped. laughter stephen how did you get out of bed in the morning . Because i did not run for president , and i could barely do it. In 2000 i dont think al gore shaved for a year. How did you yeah, that wasnt an option for me. laughter stephen well, cheers. Thank you so much for being here. applause . Thank you. Stephen the book is what happened. Lets hope it never happens again. Available now. Hillary rodham clinton, everybody. Well be right back with emma stone. cheers and applause band playing new charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. New charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin hi, i need your help. S for ive been trying to find. A knee specialist. But nobody has an opening for months uuuggghhh uuurrrggghhh mr. Powers . You cant always control your feelings. I found one innetwork next tuesday. But choosing unitedhealthcare can help you control your care. Thanks, stephanie. I see on your preventive checklist, youre due for a colonoscopy. Its covered at no additional cost to you. Great no green. Unitedhealthcare with flavors youll love. Re like new savory grilled mediterranean shrimp, topped with a blend of green onions, tomatoes, and herbs. And your favorites, like garlic shrimp scampi. Nows the only time to try as much as you want, however you want em. So hurry in today. With the Alaska Airlines visa signature card you get a companion ticket every year. So why not take someone that you see all the time. Someone like, i dunno, me . I mean i always spell your name right and put a little unicorn in your foam. No pressure but i really need to get out of here. Theyve been playing the same playlist for three months and im pretty sure youre not supposed to eat scones for dinner this many days in a row. Mexico, hawaii, costa rica, i dont really know. Im a quick packer. cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, you know my next guest from the help, spiderman, and her oscar winning performance in la la land. She now stars as tennis star Billie Jean King in battle of the sexes. How about this . Man versus woman. Male chauvinist pig versus hairy legged feminist no offense. Youre still a feminist, right . No, im a tennis player who happens to be a woman. Thats right. Thats exactly who you are. And i am a tennis player who happens to be a man who says that he can beat any woman on the planet. Think of the publicity we get. Think of the money. No. 35,000. Where did you get that kind of money . You see, you see. Youre tempted. Im really not. Im not interested, bobby, good night. Dont hang up. Dont hang up. By the way, i shave my legs. Stephen please welcome emma stone. cheers and applause stephen hi. Hi cheers and applause who was that . Stephen who was that . Who was that before . Stephen that was a woman who filled me with a lot of hope. Yeah. Me, too. That was this is a tough act to follow. That was unbelievable. Stephen it absolutely is. Oh, my god. Stephen it absolutely is. Did you have a chance to talk to her backstage . I did, yeah. Stephen lovely to meet you. Nice to have you on the show and really nice to meet you, thank you for having me, the same night as Hillary Clinton. Stephen i am old enough to remember the battle of the sexes between Billie Jean King and bobby riggs. Its hard to convey to everybody now what a giant media event this was. It was a circus. Yeah. Stephen explain to the people what exactly happened. So it took place tomorrow, september 20, 1973, 44 years ago. And bobby riggs was 55 years old. Billie jean king was 29. She was pretty much the number one female tennis player in the world. And he challenged her to a true battle of the sexes and 90 Million People watched. And it was it was an enormous tennis match. It was, like, a huge entertainment spectacle. But it was also a huge catalyst for a lot of social change. And billie jean has, obviously, become one of the most recognizable figures, i think, in the fight for equality that we have today. cheers and applause stephen it sounds like a silly thing on a certain level. Yeah, yeah. Stephen on a certain level it sounds like a silly thing, kind of an older, sort of washedout tennis player challenging a 29yearold woman to prove what did he say . Women should be belong in the bedroom and the kitchen. Bedroom and the kitchen, yeah. Stephen in that order. Yeah. Stephen and people were literally taking sides on a real cultural battleground here. Helen reddys i am woman hear me roar was kind of the anthem of the time and of that match. Yeah. Stephen and she smoked him. She smoked him. cheers and applause in three straight sets, yup. Stephen yeah. Yeah. Stephen she killed him. As a matter of fact, i see backstage you actually there are tshirts that have Billie Jean King on it with the score 64, 63, 63. Out beyond this very cool photo. And i look like im nude. Stephen this is this is the two of them backstage holding up these commemorative tshirts in front of them. And it does laughter cheers and applause it does look like youre topless. Really . Like. Stephen yeah. You had one shot laughs whatever. Stephen bobby riggs in this movie is played by our friend steve carell. Yes. Stephen what a jerk, huh . Oh, my god. Stephen unbelievable. You could not meet a crueler man than steve carell. Stephen is this the first time you played a living person . Yes. Stephen so here are you, you actually went was this the u. S. Open . Yes, this was the u. S. Open, this was last weekend. Stephen you with Billie Jean King. Yeah, unreal. Stephen a lovely, really funny person, too. Shes fantastic. Shes the biggest spitfire. Stephen what is it like going to see a tennis match with her, like eating dinner with julia child or going to a concert with paul mccartney. Essentially. As you see, in the photo there are of two of us sitting there. There was no one on the other side of her, so she did Live Commentary without any pauses in my ear for the entirety of the match. Stephen that was a thumbsup on that . It was pretty incredible. But the thing is that before i played billie jean, i was not i was not an athlete by any means at all. And my younger brother was High School Football quarterback. Stephen you follow sports or anything . No, no. laughter and so i would go i went to a game someone got tackled and i was like, fumble so to have someone one of the greatest athletes of all time talking to you about a sport which, thankfully, i know a lot more about tennis, now, of course, than i ever have football. Stephen sure. But i was like, this is slightly lost on me in some ways. Stephen but ive seen some of the footage im an bleep . It was great sorry i said bleep . laughter applause . Stephen but ive seen the footage. I mean, youre really serving. Like it was boot camp. It was true boot camp in learning to play tennis. I also had the most incredible double and coach and trainer and it was, like, a whole team of people that were so helpful. But it was some serious tennis. Stephen your brothers on the team, but youre not into sports at all. It was theatre club . I was i did improv. Stephen you did improv. I did improv. Stephen okay. And, like, a little bit of sketch stuff when i was a kid. Stephen uhhuh. And i moved to l. A. Pretty young. Stephen i understand you were pretty young. How old were you . I was 15 when i moved. Stephen thats really young. Yeah, really young. Stephen wow, so, like, six years ago or something. It was six years ago thank you so much. Yes. Its about to be six years. Stephen about to be six years. About to be six years. Stephen can you explain can you explain this to me . What is happening . This is how old were you when you drew this . laughter so i was nine. I was in i was in therapy at that time. laughter this was i drew this at therapy. This is me, i guess, with really its great artistry, with my shoes. And then this is anxiety here. Stephen right down here. Its a little Green Monster that looks a little bit like someone backstage said a uterus, with some ovaries. laughter stephen uhhuh. But i didnt mean for it to be hormonally related in any way. Like i said, i was nine. Stephen lets follow that feeling. Lets follow that feeling. Where does that take you . I was a very, very, very anxious child, and i had a lot of panic attacks and i benefited in a big way from therapy. Stephen this was nine years old . Yes, i started at seven. Stephen does the acting help with you the anxiety . It helped me so much. Improv helped me so much. I still have anxiety to this day. Not knocks on desk panic attacks. Stephen i had one on november 8 listen so did i. So did i. Stephen i find performing helps me a lot every night. Do you ever get anxious . Stephen oh, really i had, when i was younger, not nine, but younger, i had anxiety attacks and curl up on the couch backstage at second city, dont talk to me, and i would hear my cue and walk on stage but you get on stage and you feel fine. Isnt that wild . And by the way, just to bring it back around, billie jean was telling me she was going through so much in her life, which is what the movie was about, so much angst, and she would walk out on the tennis court. Stephen show time, folks. Show time, folks. Stephen thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Stephen battle of the sexes is in theaters this friday. Emma stone, everybody. Well be right back with some very, very, very soft porn. And now, i help people find discounts, like paperless, multicar, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. Any questions . Yeah. How do you go to the bathroom . Great. Any insurancerelated questions . Mmhmm. Do you have a girlfriend . Uh, im actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly 600 when they switch, so. Wheres your belly button . [ sighs ] ive got to start booking better gigs. [ sighs ] this is Google Home Mini. Its got the Google Assistant in it, so its super helpful. Watch this hey google, good morning. Good morning, claire. Its 72 and sunny. Dont forget to wear some sunscreen. Oh, thats nice. Itll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you your first meeting is at 9am. And you know how sometimes youre in bed and you cant get out of it until you hear that one song that. Okay, playing your getoutofbed playlist. Yeah, it can do that too. Its Google Home Mini and the rest of the google home family. Cpresented bye cotarget. Food has the power to transform lives. With the help of target, the San FranciscoMarin Food Bank addresses hunger headon in the community. Our food pantries are vibrant. People feel welcomed, and theyre being respected. It helps our team members see the work that they do in the store every day. How that actually relates to their communities. Cbs eye on the community is sponsored by target. cheers and applause i had frequent heartburn, but my doctor recommended. Prilosec otc 7 years ago, 5 years ago, last week. Just 1 pill each morning, 24 hours and zero heartburn. Its been the number 1 doctor recommended brand for 10. Straight years, and its still recommended today. Use as directed. [ america by simon can i cross it off yet . Almost. And. Now. The volkswagen atlas. With available digital cockpit. Lifes as big as you make it. Stephen hey, welcome back everybody cheers and applause you know, folks, i was gone for an entire week a week, a whole week . A week and a day we were gone out in los angeles. And heres the thing, we like to do the show about what just happened, just the most exactly what youre talking about today. So obviously, there were several interesting news stories that fell through the cracks over the last week that i will never be able to talk about, and i just have to let them go ted cruz watches porn. laughter applause turns out hes relatable after all. laughter last week, the Texas Republicans twitter account favored a tweet featuring hardcore pornography. Now, i cannot say the name of the video that he favorited on the cbs network. But lets say the name is a cross between the hit comedy mom and big bang theory. laughter 20. Cruz quickly attempted to blame somebody else for this, referring to the incident as a staffing issue, and saying that there are a number of people on the team that have access to the twitter account, and it appears that someone inadvertently hit the like button. Hitting the like button is a new one. laughter i remember one time i walked in on my College Roommate hitting his like button. applause so so applause ill take him at his word. We know this is just cruzs staffer. We have no idea what kind of porn ted cruz is into, though we can guess. Jim . Pizza delivery. One large cheese with extra soup. Oh, no but i dont have any money. I already spent this weeks welfare check on a ferrari. Isnt there another way i can pay you . Oh, i got an idea. Lets lay together and perform lawful sexual relations as described in leviticus, 18 5. But wait, we arent married yet. We can fix that. What denomination are you . Im southern baptist. And im landmark baptist. I wish you luck in hell. Oh shake my hand oh, youll feel this tomorrow. In your hand. cheers and applause stephen well be right back if you are in your home or business and you smell gas, your first step is to get out, travel to a safe distance until you cant smell the gas anymore and then call 911. The First Responders will come out and theyll make it safe for you and your community. That one. This. That one. If youdont touch it,downed keep everyone back. Call 911 immediately. The Fire Department will respond with Law Enforcement and pg e to figure out what the issue is to keep you safe and there are no hazards to the public. applause stephen thats it for the late show, everybody. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from france, give it up for your host, the one, the