What i like to call ownership over the current predicament. This is harry reids shutdown. This is not the republican shutdown. This is harry connick, jr. And brac bracs shut Barack Obamas shutdown. Democrats refused to budge. No willingness at all to compromise. The president wont negotiate. Jon its not their shurtdown. Is their name on the shutdown . They didnt do it. Oj did it. I blame oj. If you glove doesnt fit you must remember the chase with the car . [laughter] party of personal responsibility aint taking none. So listen, here is the proof once and for all. Sniffles magilacuty here, john mccain asked about a claim harry reid is making. He said publicly that you came to him in july and offered to pass a clean government funding resolution, no obamacare amendments. It was 70 billion below what the senate wanted, they accepted and youve reneged on that offer. Clearly there was a conversation about doing this. Several. Several. And you offered a clean resolution. I and my members decided that the threat of obamacare and what was happening was so important it was time to take a stand and we took a stand. Jon did you did you bleep hear that . Can we stop having the conversation about it . Wham is he going to say . They had a deal but obamacare. [ laughter ] we decided to take a stand. Do you think obamacare is a big enough threat to the country you need to shutdown the government over it. Fine, own it. Dont fart and point at the dog [cheers and applause] did you do that . Did you . Good boy. I cant stay mad at you. [ laughter ] im going to move on. Im going to do a different story. Any story. I know what ill do. Ill use my wheel of happy stories. We dont hardly ever use it but its always [laughter] oh, my god i cant believe its we mefer used it but its we never used it but its always under here apparently. Look at these stories. Donald trump has larn giets, full frontal clooney. Lets spin it and see what we get. Hold on. Mystery story i cant wait to see what fun oh, my god [laughter] [laughter] [cheers and applause] one metatarsal down. Fine, what is the happy news from syria. A Team International inspectors hit the road in damascus wednesday deployed to destroy chemical weapons. An estimated 7,000 ton chemical arsenal is at the center of international contention. The team has nine months to eliminate it all. Jon because the whole team is pregnant. [ laughter ] why do they have nine why a weird arbitrary number. How hard can it to be eliminate chemical arsenal. They have a reasonably high tech removal weapon. They spend all this money to make them im sure besophisticated to unmake them. They are using blow torches to destroy warheads and bombs. Jon what is in these crazy things . Wow, if you are doing it on the cheap why not have the human wrecking balls take care it. With his head and my shoulder ram we help the people of syria. Were going to tear apart this. Chemical weapon. With every inch of our body. Were going to use science. To prevent assad from gassing civilians. We are. United nations. Wrecking ball. Jon isnt that nice. [cheers and applause] obviously, the brave chemical weapons inspectors are putting themselves in harms way and im not talking about the dangers of hitting themselves with a hammer. They face grave risks working in syria. A u. N. Convoy came under sniper fire. Theres no confirmation of who pulled the trigger. Jon s yes, because what is a better symbol of safety than a projectage with a trojan with a hole on it. Jessa is live in searal. Thank you for being here. Hi, jon. Jon do they have you there . You are destroying chemical weapons there . No, no this is my Halloween Costume im a sexy jessie pinkman. Jon you think shes sexy . Very. Jon why did you go to syria to get a breakiki bad costume . They were sold out everywhere else. Jon how are things going . Pretty rough, jon. Someone told the locals im from america. You can imagine the bleep im getting around here. Jon you can imagine with the Foreign Policy. Not the Foreign Policy the Government Shutdown the syrians think were idiots. Jon were idiots . Yeah. Jon they are hardly if a position to judge us. Syria is not a Model Society these days. Yeah, but guess what . Even with the whole country torn part the Syrian Government has paid all its bills and workers wages. Can you believe that bleep . The memorial im sure they are building to this war is open right now. bleep . Jon wow. So the government is open. But but but assad is still a murderous dictator. True. But you want to know what he said to me today, jon . Jon wait, what he said to you . Yeah, the president of syria said to me today while we were eating he said what is up with that ted cruz guy . Seems like a bit of a whack job. Jon reety assad said that to you . Totally. Jon did you did you say to assad . What bleep am i supposed to say you just nod and finish your s wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. Listen. If you were an astute observer of politics you may have noted washington, d. C. Has fall noon what many experts are falling into a sink hole bleep . Is there a way out . Jason jones reports. Republicans are refusing to back off obamacare and pass a clean budget sending the Government Shutdown to the second week. I decided to take a crack at fixing this mess by sitting down with g. O. P. Strategist. Lets solve this right now. Lets do it. We just want our Government Back open. What do we do . Defund obamacare. The g. O. P. Is trying to save the American People from a disaster of a health care plan. We dont have joy in the shutdown. Reporter can you just give us back our government and when you do include obamacare because its the law. It is law but its not good law. Its unconstitutional. Its unconstitutional. Reporter even though the Supreme Court deemed it constitutional. The Supreme Court deemed it constitutional but it had to go to the Supreme Court to do so. And they still dont know what is in the bill. Reporter the Supreme Court didnt read the bill . I feel the same way. Can we stop this whole interview, please. Its just a vicious circle. You dig your heels in. You Say Something stupid. Its a stupid law. Reporter and i give a generically witty response like yes, Affordable Health care for millions of Unemployed People is stupid. And then these dummies laugh. But where does it end . It ends with defunding obamacare. Reporter bleep . Im done. I hate this job. It was clear what had to come. We have a hostage situation. You are holding this country hostage. You dont get to extract a trance yom for doing your extract a ransom for doing your job. Reporter i enlisted the help of i f. B. I. Ransom negotiator y. Do people feel the need to take hostages. In their world they tried a lot of things and everythings that failed. They view themselves as significant people and they are mystified they are not followed more and hurt by it and they feel abandoned by it. Reporter i thought calling in a hostage negotiation is funny and a funny joke but its incredible how this metaphor is lining up. Even bat bleep insane has its own rules. You find out what the rules are and navigate within them. He prepped me through the techniques through 15 years of service. Dont be condescending and try to see it from her perspective. Reporter dont be condescending . Thats all i know how to be. Finally it was go to and i had to stay focused. Say something innocuous get her talking. My name is jason jones. Im here to listen to you. What are your demands. Can you put the mic phone down. Reporter its called a megaphone. Dont be condescending. Talk about the things she might like. Try top find common ground. Rhondella noelle talk to me but obamacare will hurt Small Business businesses and their employees. Its disastrous for Small Businesses. Reporter i cant keep this up its stupid. Its not stupid to her. You have to realize even in her world this makes senses. Reporter please continue with your thoughts. He taught me that keeping the hostage taker talking is crucial no matter what is coming out of their mouth. Obamacare is one of worst things. One of the worst things in american history. Reporter one of the worst things in american history, huh . Do you remember bleep slavery . No, no, dont attack. Reporter sorry, sorry. I cant call her on slavery or anything like that. I realize what she just said is utterly ridiculous and it ignores the entire history of the United States but its her perspective. Reporter i began to realize there was one major problem with this hostage negotiation. We dont need government in our health care. We dont need government in our lives. We need a smaller government. Reporter and that problem is that not matter what we do the g. O. P. Is holding something hostage that they dont value. You are saying you are going to maim the thing you are holding hostage regardless . We will always fight for less government. Reporter you are supposed to say well let the hostage go safely. Thats hostage taking 101. Please, were not in the business of taking hostages. If you want to look at someone in the business take hostages you need to look at obama and the democrat circus. I have to tell you in my 20 plus years in this business ive never seen anything like this before. Reporter looks like we win no. One wins in this case. Jon rell come back. Shes the youngest person ever to be nominated for a nobel peace prize. Her book is called i am malal. Please welcome to the program malala yousafzai. [cheers and applause] nice to see you. [cheers and applause] thank you for being here. Thank you so much. Its an honor for me. Jon its an honor for us. I know me. This is by the way, we talked a little bit before the show. Nothing feels better than making you laugh. I will say that. I enjoyed that very much. Thank you. Jon i am malala. Its honestly humbling to meet you. You are 16. Where did your love for education come from . We are human beings and this is the part of our human nature that we dont learn the importance of anything until its snatched from our hands. And when in pakistan when we were stopped from going to school at that time i realized that education is very important and education is a power for women. And thats why the terrorists are afraid of education. They dont want women to get education because women will become more powerful. [cheers and applause] jon exactly right. [cheers and applause] when did the when did the taliban come to swat valley . Because before then you describe it as a paradise of sorts. A taliban came in 2004 but at that time they were quite good. They did not show the terrorism and they did not blast any school at that time. They started with the geoterrorism in 2007 they blasted more than 400 schools in swat. They slaughtered people and in the month of january 2009, they used to slaughter even two three people every night and they flogged them and we have seen the barbaric situation of the 21st century. And weve seen like the cruelty and weve seen harsh days in our life. And those are regarded as the darkest days of our life. It was really hard for us at that time. Jon you describe in the book still, no matter what, they took the signs off the schools. They went underground but they continued in the face of you spoke out publicly against the taliban. What gave you the courage to continue this . You know, my father was a great encouragement for me because he spoke out for womens rights, for girls education. At that time i said why should i wait for someone else . Why should i be looking to the government, to the army, that they would help us . Why dont i raise my voice . Yes y dont we why dont we speak for our rights . I started writing diary. I spoke on every media channel i could. I raise my voice in every platform i could. I said i need to tell the world what is happening in swat and i need to tell the world that swat is suffering suffering from terd we need to fight against terrorism. Jon when did you realize that the taliban had made you a target . When in 2012 i was with my father and someone came and told us have you seen on google if you search your name that the taliban has hurt you. I could not believe it. I said its not true. Even after when we saw it i was not worried about myself that much i was worried about my father. We were told that the taliban are not that much cruel that they would kill a child. I starting think thinking about that and thinking the talib would come and he would kill me. I thought what would you do malala, i thought take a shoe and hit him. But i thought if you hilt a talib with your shoe then theres no difference between you and the talib. You must not treat others with cruelty and harshly. You must fight others but to peace, dialog and education. Then i tell him how important education is and i even want education for your children as well and i will tell him thats i want to tell you now do what you want. [cheers and applause] i know your father is back stage and hes very proud of you. But would he be mad if a adopted i if adopted you . Because you sure are swell. Could you stick around . I want to talk a little bit more about swat valley and what it was like growing up there and how people can get involved through the malala fund and those types of things . Do you have a little bit of time . Yes, yeah, sure. Jon i am malala is on shelves now. Visit to the malala fund. Malala jon this is one of the finest examples of the human spirit ive ever been a witness to. I am honored and humbled to have here her here. Oh, i forgot to ask her, how you can solve a Government Shutdown. [laughter] join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. A new poll came out what do you have a higher opinion of congress or dog poop. You have a higher opinion of congress or dog poop. Will the two. Two, three. gasping run, leela theyre bouncing right at us. angry yelling so, anybody hungry . I could stuff myself. Ill use that free app that tells what restaurants youre near. You mean the window . Yes. horn honking i am lrrr, ruler of the planet omicron persei 8 i demand extra dipping sauce how many . I dont know. Two . tires squealing static welcome to fishy joes