Page 15 - Andy Borowitz News Today

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Columnist Mark Epstein considers the tradition of "Dry January."

by Vijaya Chandrasoma February was recognized as the month to celebrate the history and achievements of the African American people in America by President Gerald Ford in 1976. He called upon Americans to “seize the opportunity to honor the too-often neglected achievements of Black Americans in every area of endeavor throughout our history”. Canada also honors Black History Month in February. Other nations, like the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Ireland observe Black History Month in ...

Super Bowl and Impeachment Trial Feb. 05, 2021 at 6:00 am In two days, with an unexpected “Santa Monica surprise”, there will be the biggest sporting event in the world, the Super Bowl. Soccer fans would disagree citing the record 1.1 billion people who watched the 2018 World Cup Final, whereas the 2018 Super Bowl had a “measly” 103 million viewers. And yet a 30-second commercial on Super Bowl LV costs $5.6 million or $186,666 per second. Since Donald Trump raised $250 million after t...

NationofChange On tap: More violent MAGA sedition, even mock secession? Spineless Repugs alone hold the Stop Sign Despite being the slam-dunk impeachment of all time, cowardly Repugs can still betray their honor and oaths to the Constitution. The cult of Trump feverishly looks to the Confederacy’s Lost Cause Martyrdom Scheme News flash: the bizarro Conniver-in-chief just lost his entire Senate trial defense team. And nitwit Giuliani can’t substitute...

So why didn't Paul Simon write: "How strange it is to be 70 - staying away from everyone because of coronavirus?" https://youtu.be/yj2qexgX2DM   He’s here, he’s there, he’s everywhere! Biden is 78? Wow! Seems more like about 30. But the real story is that he is making decisions based on what is good for the country.…

Hosted by Paul Holdengräber, The Quarantine Tapes chronicles shifting paradigms in the age of social distancing. Each day, Paul calls a guest for a brief discussion about how they are experiencing the global pandemic. * The Quarantine Tapes, Paul Holdengräber is joined by Andy Borowitz. Andy is a writer for The New Yorker, and he talks with Paul about some of the fascinating challenges and successes of writing satire. Speaking on Inauguration Day, they dig into Andy’s experiences writing ...

"She was 13 going on 14, but if you look at her picture, she looked like she was ten or 11," he tells New Times. "What he did to her and how scared she was and how vulnerable she was, that was a really bad story." This could be my daughter, he thought. Fisten was working the case for Fort Lauderdale attorney Brad Edwards, who filed a lawsuit against Epstein in 2009 and worked on it for nearly a decade. Edwards faced down countersuits by both the billionaire financier and his most high-profile ...

Mon, 01/25/2021 LAWRENCE — Acclaimed writer, professor and scientist Robin Wall Kimmerer will give the 2021 Kenneth A. Spencer Lecture at 7 p.m. April 1. The event will be broadcast live. A member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation, Kimmerer is known for the universal teachings offered in her 2015 book, "Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teaching of Plants." She is an SUNY Distinguished Teaching Professor of Environmental Biology, where she is the founder and...

When the Miami Herald series about Jeffrey Epstein called "Perversion of Justice" blew up on the cable TV stations, private eye Mike Fisten was happy to see some attention finally paid to the travesty hed investigated for years. The former Miami-Dade homicide detective interviewed Epstein victim after Epstein victim, roughly 40 in all, for a civil lawsuit alleging that their rights had been violated in a 2008 plea deal that allowed the billionaire to skirt a lengthy prison sentence. Fisten t...