Page 10 - Borowitz Report News Today

Some viewers questioned the authenticity of one section of the video, which showed Jimi Hendrix performing “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

“Let them wander Times Square with Elmo,” the Florida Governor said.

When does satire about faith become mockery? And should Christians even care?

“I don’t know how they manage it,” the media mogul said, of inveterate truthtellers. “I’ve told the truth once, and I don’t intend to do it again.”

Speaking to reporters on Capitol Hill, Santos said that he had “no idea” how the Wuhan job wound up on his C.V.

“Tucker is in a very dark place right now,” a Fox News colleague said. “To be unmasked as an honest person is literally his worst nightmare.”

The revelation appeared in an official statement released to the American media by an organization calling itself the Intergalactic Command Force.

“This is what makes Ron DeSantis so dangerous, quite frankly,” he said.

“Whenever possible, I’d bring Mother,” he said. “But when she wasn’t available I’d hide my face behind classified documents.”

“When I watch him lie, he reminds me of me at his age,” Giuliani said, of Santos. “Like poetry in motion.”