Page 9 - Cheating Death News Today

Stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just picture...

Stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks so much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, weve got to folks, i gotta tell you, one quick thing, one quick thing. I know weve got a big show to do tonight, but one thing before we get started, there was some big news last week that slipped through my news crack, and it concer...

Stephen. Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, weve got to folks, i gotta tell you, one quick thing, one quick thing. I know weve got a big show to do tonight, but one thing before we get started, there was some big news last week that slipped through my news crack, and it concerns someone ive admired for years, and yet surprisingly is not me. Im talking about david letterman, who last thursday night announced his retirement...

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in h...

On the George Washington bridge back in september. It was traffic on a biblical scale with new jersey highways backed up for days which is slightly longer than normal. laughter now it turns out, turns out, folks, that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of new jersey for not endorsing christie for reelection. No word yet on what the rest of new jersey is payback for. laughter nation, i, i will have full Team Coverage on this tomorrow by which i mean just me, of...

Man. Dave has been on the air my entire adult life, late night debuted my first year in college. I learned more from watching dave than i did from going to my classes. cheers and applause . Especially especially the ones i did not go to because i had stayed up until 1 30 watching dave. applause this man has influenced every host who came after him, and even a few who came before him. Hes that good. laughter and i gotta tell you, i do not envy whoever they try to put in that chair. cheers and app...

Tonight a new breakthru in medicine, a pill that doesnt give you a boner. Then america is enveloped in record cold, luckily americans are enveloped in record fat. And my guest author ishmael beah was a child soldier, still better adjusted than a child actor. Happy birthday to north koreas kim jungun, please accept our gift of dennis rodman. No returns. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen,...

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks so much. Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. cheers and applause thank you so much. Ladies and gentlemen, weve got to folks, i gotta tell you, one quick thing, one quick thing. I know weve got a big show to do tonight, but one thing before we get started, there was some big news ...

Midterms. Speaker pelosi leaves taiwan and its troubles filled. Chinas blockade of the island and its workings begin. With the Red Air Force layovers we solutions with u. S. Deteriorate. Alex jirgens accused of perjury. The blunder jones lawyers made revealing the truth that could cause the conspiracy pressure big money. Me to the paraglider and chute didnt open. Ago so quick, youre focused on the job and what you need to do. What he did but saved his life. The Justice Department subpoenas Donal...

Jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. Your bowel has been reconstructed. As im walking to the press room, i feel like i have to pass a little gas here. Im walking by myself who is going to know captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by stephen tonight, science finds the key to a long, healthy life. Whatever it is, i bet it tastes good fried. [ laughter ] then, controversy over the new bin laden film. They shouldnt have let him do his own si...