Chet Greg News Today

the justice. mostly just screaming from really ugly people. and no matter what your color, youre a white supremacist just by minding your own business commuting or worst of all helping other people in danger especially if youre riding new yorks f train where the f stands for get me the f out of this city. you know the story, deranged man got killed on a new york city subway car. witnesses say he was screaming threats at passengers, throwing gar beige and so on. a few stepped up to rest...

farts. hunter, the most successful crack head the world has ever seen is returning to new york this week to exhibit his awful abstract art work at a soho art gallery. i havent seen a mess like this since that time i took a laxative with four bags of skittles. it was for pride month. i was trying to poop a rainbow. hunter was spotted at the gallery over the weekend, even as a congressional committee is trying to find out who the hell is paying between 75 and 500 grand each for his crapp...

>> greg: . >> charlie: his buddy got fired so he went to exact venn generals at the cafe. >> johnny: his girlfriend worked there after she got fired from sonic and she disappeared for a day and he was mad they werent helping >> kat: did that girl get fired from sonic. >> johnny: i think she did >> kat: i didnt see that anywhere. >> greg: im going to start a gofundme page for her. gofundme. stupid, right? all right, charlie, i forgot where youre from. >> virginia. >> greg: thats right. kings domi...

>> greg: unruly gangs, right? young kids coming in there ioh, yeah. >> greg: yeah, yeah, yeah. happens at every amusement park. its happening all over. >> isnt that the point of an amusement park? >> no, because it gets crazy. you dont want to end up getting pants by the its a small world--you get separated from your mom and dad, its 1974. thought maybe you were getting cotton candy some nice man says let meet get you cake and all of a sudden theres five kids waiting for snow have you ever been ...

We see that one more time? was that rosie odonnell? is that who that was because she really is a girl, i dont think people understand. i dont get it. i think i would rather go to jail than have somebody tell me my bellys bigger than my pecker. i would have been arguing, you know what i love sonic with the foot long, thats what im talking about. >> greg: charlie when you think about it its like you got off but now everybody knows. >> charlie: yeah, yeah. but i do think in most court cases intent ...

Also about a guy that didnt want to go on a walk. >> greg: really? >> kat: he didnt appear to if he would be enjoying himself if you watch the video. you think hes just watching, just watching. and then all of a sudden hes like this man sucks, i that it walk. boom. they still didnt catch him. >> greg: really? >> kat: so thats bad guys. dont take chairs and throw them through windows. >> greg: so they havent caught him yet >> kat: they have not apprehended the suspect, no. >> greg: heres my theor...

Carte blanche, you can flash in any park you want to. >> greg: like saying im not a murderer i only killed tiny people. >> johnny: yeah. i dont know what thats saying. >> greg: its like saying im not guilty of exposure because my weenie is micro. thats why i said i can kill people because theyre small loftus. >> michael: the judge just emotionally nuked this dude, right? like its over, right? your lawyers were like hey we won, your gut is so big, they all agreed they couldnt have seen your weeni...

>> greg: the problem the online apps and i think joe, you can attest to it. [laughter] >> greg: a hundred percent of the women on the apps go to two percent of the men. its not like when you go to a bar, right? you can go to a bar and say youre like a 6.5 but your personality puts you at a nine but if its on an app the only people that get hit are the 9s and 10s based on the app and you dont have the opportunity to show your sparkling whit and personality. dont you think thats fair? >> joe: it i...