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A veteran. i was being very, very, very serious. i was having people thank me for my service. i dont know if i would have married him at all the i didnt know that was the case. >> its not all bad news. spouses may qualify for certain benefits like health care, life insurance or money to help pay for school. so there are options out there for you. [laughter] >> greg: quarter veteran. >> quarter veteran. >> hopefully the government will allow you to get with somebody you really are happy with. but...

According to bloomberg, its 417 feet long and doesnt include the cost of the mini yacht. so if you add the mini yacht to the super yacht, its 500 feet and -- >> true. >> this discussion were having right now, you have set sale on a sea of lies. this b.s. aint going to float. >> you dont want them to cancel your internet. >> thats it. please, jeff. lastly, hey, we got to bring it home. greg, lets look at your discussion with kat about faucis leaked e-mails. mike, take us home. >> i dont care if t...

Mcorgy -- >> your nickname. >> greg: no its an excellent irish bar. >> a secret knock. >> i can find no record of a bar in new york or anywhere for that matter called tony mcorgy. and now with a number of times ive googled that name, im on a government watch list. >> greg: its an illegal speak easy. >> theres good news for you, greg. according to a very reputable site, urbandictionary.com, an mcorgy is a double cheeseburger, a mcchicken sandwich together inside two bones. >> greg: seriously? >> ...

♪ ♪ >> greg: before we go, lets do this. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> greg: as a world-famous celebrity, i run into a lot of famous people. you wont believe what i saw relaxing at home last night, there is famed films are jared leto just kicking back, enjoying a snack. hes had some great challenging roles lately, i think he actually mightve won and oscar. he deserves the rest, hairy little vulgar. congrats. and where some pants, disgusting. it set your dvrs every night so he never miss an episode,

Same thing. its annoying and rude. theyre wanting us to stop. why dont they stop, too? >> its not fair. thats selfishness for me. >> again, like if theyre going to expect us to do it, expect everyone to do it. >> theyre flying all over. i would say its hypocritical for them to say that all americans should stop when theyre not. >> greg: vocal fry. its almost like they just learned something. so its easy to poke fun at young minds that endorse crap that they havent thought through, which is why w...

Aliens to exist, theyre jerks. just shoot them out of the school. >> can we give a few earthlings up? i would pick a couple of them over others. >> greg: the democratic party. >> neil: nice red meat there, greg. >> greg: serve that up. the thing is, they put out a statement saying nobody fly your things. well shoot them down. then see what it is when its shot down. >> greg: yes. what if its the bubble boy? the bubble boy. remember that one? is that what his name was? boo loan boy. i ruined that....

My safe word yahtzee. roll it. >> greg: if you replaced the names with greek letters, are you stigmatizing the greeks? havent they had enough stigmatism? >> democracy on us. >> greg: yes. they used to do the olympics nude, pete. >> they did. >> greg: i think they did. im sure i read that somewhere. >> turns out that youre partially right. a nude competition may have started after one guy lost his loin cloth. >> greg: so the partially nude, i was partially correct. >> there you go.

So i think that the ufo thing is a thing. aliens are probably out there, maybe. why wouldnt there be? the government says oh, maybe, maybe not. they dont know what theyre talking about. >> greg: they couldnt figure out a virus. >> exactly. would that be weird? were weird. we suck. freaks and geeks was cancelled because it couldnt compete with who wants to be a millionaire? theyre probably out there and dont want to hang out. >> still defending james franco. >> not at all. im -- i was too old for...

>> greg: are laws getting passed while politicians are smashed? in the connecticut, theyre treating the government lining drunks at last call. i was drunk when they passed the tax increase is an excuse they can no longer use. probably they dont want clips from state rep robin comey. >> understand that she was able to -- im sorry. >> greg: ive been there, lady. its the wine i had at dinner. do lawmakers need a lesson about boozing while in session? lets check in on an expert. ♪♪

Todays athletes dont compete naked. so next time you have me over to watch your olympic wrestling videos, just know that i know theyre supposed to be wearing clothes. okay. we have to move on. kat, lets take a look at what you said earlier this week about veterans. if you would, please. >> look, i married a veteran. im now half veteran. >> greg: doesnt work that way. shes got half of a bronze star. >> yeah. >> well, kat, i have news for you. youre not half veteran but you are full of [bleep]. >>...