Page 3 - Human Centipede News Today

Michael all right, yes welcome to the daily show im d. J. Michael kosta. Weve got so much to talk about tonight. The squad is down a man, the Supreme Court is cool with bribery, and a special appearance from triumph the insult comic dog lets get into the headlines [cheers and applause] lets kick things off with the primaries yesterday. In new york, progressive Jamaal Bowman lost reelection to his opponent money. And in colorado, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert won despite being caught fondling her ...

Cheers and applause larry thank you very much thank you thank you very much cheers and applause audience chanting larry thank you so much. Welcome to the nightly show. So kind. Im larry wilmore. So house of your weekend . cheers and applause mine was pretty good. I hosted a Little Dinner Party with a few friends me, don lemon, the president you know, my boys. Right . And i was wrapping up my little speech and giving the president some props, telling him how much i appreciated him being the first...

Larry thank you very much thank you thank you very much cheers and applause audience chanting larry thank you so much. Welcome to the nightly show. So kind. Im larry wilmore. So house of your weekend . cheers and applause mine was pretty good. I hosted a Little Dinner Party with a few friends me, don lemon, the president you know, my boys. Right . And i was wrapping up my little speech and giving the president some props, telling him how much i appreciated him being the first black president and...

Audience chanting larry thank you so much. Welcome to the nightly show. So kind. Im larry wilmore. So house of your weekend . cheers and applause mine was pretty good. I hosted a Little Dinner Party with a few friends me, don lemon, the president you know, my boys. Right . And i was wrapping up my little speech and giving the president some props, telling him how much i appreciated him being the first black president and what that meant to me. And i buttoned it with a little. Lets say, uh, collo...

Oh, my god, kate, that chicken is amazing. Whats your secret . Well, i let it cook for 20 minutes. And then i sprinkle on just a little merric merrick garland. Garland. And then the Senate Rejects it. cheers and applause . Trevor well have more on that tomorrow, chatting more about that tomorrow but right now were still dealing with last nights primaries. It was the secretary super tuesday in three weeks, and this one really delivered. For instance, on the democratic side, Hillary Clinton racked...

I want to give a shoutout to my childhood bff, kirsten, for that time i thought i was born without a hole for a penis to go in, so you looked at my vagina and verified that i did. Love you, bitch ohhh [ cheers and applause ] and a shoutout to t. J. And pete for being here. [ cheers and applause intensify petes podcast you made it weird is available on itunes and nerdist. You can see t. J. Miller on silicon valley. Season 3 premieres on hbo in april. See you next week, pervs yeah [ cheers and app...

You covered bernie speaking. Its literally box shaped. Trust us. The minute that the podium does something, you can just switch over. At his next speech, Bernie Sanders should just come out dressed as trumps podium. That way nobody will be able to ignore him. People will say, thats, that podium is correct. Wall street is corrupt. Good job, podium. Come oguys. Bernie is still in the race. Give him some respect. You know who is not still in the race . Little marco . Yes, very sad. He suspended his...

Im larry wilmore. So house of your weekend . cheers and applause mine was pretty good. I hosted a Little Dinner Party with a few friends me, don lemon, the president you know, my boys. Right . And i was wrapping up my little speech and giving the president some props, telling him how much i appreciated him being the first black president and what that meant to me. And i buttoned it with a little. Lets say, uh, colloquialism. Larry so, mr. President , if im going to keep it 100, yo barry. You did...

Larry Larry Larry Larry gracias, gracias, thank you very much. Feliz Cinco De Mayo yeeeaaah cheers and applause im celebratin con this burrito grande larry, stop it. Larry grace parra, everybody yes, hello, hi. Larry hey, grace happy mexican july 4th oh, my god, larry its not mexicos independence day. Cinco de mayo honors mexicos unexpected victory over the french at the battle of puebla in 1862. Larry yay cheers and applause mexico beat the french wooo until the french returned a year later and...

Comedy central cheers and applause larry welcome to the nightly show, yeah Larry Larry Larry larry larry gracias, gracias, thank you very much. Feliz Cinco De Mayo yeeeaaah cheers and applause im celebratin con this burrito grande larry, stop it. Larry grace parra, everybody yes, hello, hi. Larry hey, grace happy mexican july 4th oh, my god, larry its not mexicos independence day. Cinco de mayo honors mexicos unexpected victory over the french at the battle of puebla in 1862. Larry yay cheers an...