Humor Bits News Today

Great wrong number story: A woman kept calling the wrong number, misdialing the area code; she wanted Maryland but kept getting a guy in Rhode Island who finally struck up a conversation which led to a 20-year friendship. Its sweet and they finally met in person this Thanksgiving, and, yeah, this deserves an awwwwww. (WSVN-TV/Miami)

Whats Florida without palm trees? Might have to get used to it, someday, at least, not because theyre dying off but because some cities are looking to replace them with other trees better suited to fighting climate change. Turns out palm trees dont pull carbon out of the atmosphere at nearly the same rate as other trees. Dont expect them to rip down the palms, not yet, at least, but thats the reasoning for planting other tree over palms. (WFOR-TV/Miami)

How bad is the school bus driver shortage? One Delaware school district is preparing to resort to having kids return to online classes because they cant get the students to the school building.That bad. (KYW-TV/Philadelphia)

An award-winning author of crime novels in Spain, a feminist professor who wrote under a pseudonym and was quite secretive, was exposed when she won an award and turned out to be three men who took advantage of the marketing opportunity to pose as a female writer and got honored for "her" work. Does the authors identity matter to you when youre reading a book? If its a good story, is it an issue for you that the author might not be who you think it is? Or does the deception repel ...

Did someone say over-the-top Halloween house decorations? Heres a woman in northeast Pennsylvania who decks her house out in spooky stuff and has for the past 15 years, drawing gawkers from the whole area. Every town has one like this. Where are yours? (WBRE-TV-WYOU-TV/Wilkes-Barre-Scranton)

Heres a real find: An archeological dig in Israel turned up a 7th century B.C. toilet. Not just any toilet, but a fancy one. Granted, its basically a hole in limestone, but it was a throne for its time, pre-flushing. Yes, people had bodily functions in the 7th century B.C. What did you think they did? (Washington Post)

People did not react well to a report leaked from the opposition conservative party in Australia that theyre thinking of proposing giving Tasers to teachers to control unruly students. And, yes, thats outrageous! Everyone knows they SHOULD be packing Glocks for that. (Brisbane Courier-Mail; Thanks to Jeff Katz at WXKS (Rush Radio 1200)/Boston for the link)

Mexico is justifiably proud of Monterrey, a city thats become a modern, bustling metropolis. Apart, that is, from the requisite gang activity. And a reminder that the Mexican government is not in control of its own cities is the narco-blockade of Monterrey, in which the drug cartels blocked off at least 13 major roads, using carjacked vehicles. It all happened after cops shot and killed one of the cartel leaders. They have a civil war in their own country, and in places like Monterrey ...

The cops have now filed criminal animal cruelty charges against two weird sisters who were found with 84 cats in two cars. They loaded up their cars with the cats and said they were trying to get the mostly feral cats into shelters, but the cops say that the sisters were really just trying to avoid prosecution in New York when they were caught in a grocery store parking lot in Vermont. And if they were trying to help the cats, that doesnt explain the dead cat in the trunk and several so ...

Heres a controversial pumpkin patch in South Kansas City. How can a pumpkin patch be controversial? Simple: When its next door to a strip club. Think of the children! Well, what ABOUT the children? If they dont go INTO the bar, theyre not going to see anything, are they? (KSHB-TV (NBC Action News)/Kansas City; Thanks to Casey Bartholomew at WKXW (New Jersey 101.5)/Trenton for the link)