Page 7 - Stand Ups News Today

>> you had to learn to deal with it if you wanted to make it in the clubs. and the best ones did. >> hi, pigs. >> i dont know how to say this, but i want to be on you. >> i dated my last boyfriend for two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me your name or its over. >> this is my long, luxurious blond hair. aint it pretty? >> yes. >> i could put it in a ponytail, you want to see? >> yeah. >> no. >> whoopi goldberg always thought of herself as an actress more ...

>> i dated my last boyfriend for two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me your name or its over. >> this is my long, luxurious blond hair. aint it pretty? i could put it in a ponytail, you want to see? no. whoopi goldberg always thought of herself as an actress more so than a comedian. she was very much in the spirit of lily tomlin, more so than the stand-ups of era. >> they said, are you a valley girl? no, im a surfer, because before there was the mall, th...

And knock the [ bleep ] out of your mouth, which i think is appropriate and funny. >> listen, i dont have time to tell you all the things that are the matter with you. but lets start with that checkered bell bottomed suit. >> you had to learn to deal with it if you wanted to make it in the clubs. and the best ones did. >> hi, pigs. >> ynt know how to say this, but i want to be on you. >> i date ed my last boyfriend r two years. finally, i gave him an ultimatum. i said, listen, either you tell me...

>> bearded man: places, act 1. >> woman: how are things? >> guy: ah, good. should i put the game on? the patriots are playing the red skins. >> paul: do we know where the dry cleaning is? theres no job that you can liken to this job. >> woman: what are you trying to say, mike, were some sort of time travelers? >> man: my hemp business is doing really well. >> paul: i think its all i only have like four lines, right? >> anthony: is it a kind of supportive? i mean, comedians are not famous for -- ...

Its your first time getting paid as a performer, and its also the largest amount of people ive performed for was on a cruise ship. its 950 people youre performing to, you know, four nights a week. >> anthony: right. ♪ >> bearded man: places, act 1. >> woman: how are things? >> guy: ah, good. should i put the game on? the patriots are playing the red skins. >> paul: do we know where the dry cleaning is? theres no job that you can liken to this job. >> woman: what are you trying to say, mike, we...

>> no. in no way! thats exactly how i sound when i do stand-ups with snakes. >> is that right? >> yes. they got me. coming up in "the skinny" -- who got snubbed at emmy nominations and what is martha stewart doing with a drone? first, one babys first moments captured on camera. its a delivery you have to see to believe. youre watching "world news now." ♪ baby baby baby thought youd always be mine ♪ >> announcer: "world news now" weather brought to you by tide pods. ♪ baby, baby ooh ♪...

On the rise. it is raising some big concerns here. jake? >> miguel, can i just -- i dont mean to make light of it, youre standing in a field of marijuana. is there any effect on you at all? any contact high? >> reporter: no, no, it smells -- in the next room there, you have the buds. you would sigh giant buds. this does not effect you. its only once you ingest it somehow it affects you. we were at a pot party yesterday where there was a lot of secondhand smoke. that was probably a bit of an effe...

And tie. phil has a t-shirt. jenna: he looks in his element. comfortable, cool. i like it. >> reporter: were keeping our eyes out. jon: tough duty when somebody has there. jenna: with the people on the beach. jon: government shutdown dominating news media this week. media analyst focusing big debate on the topic. is it huge or hype? howard kurtz points to headline on the left-leaning "huffington post" homepage. things like, kids with: cancer blocked from clinical trials. search for missing woman...

Comics who dont want to be self-deprecating anymore but theyre still -- elaine boozeler said when she went on "the tonight show," she injected her show with all these self-deprecating jokes she did not want to do. it was imposed on them for a while because thats the way you wanted to see it. through the 1980s you had a lot of female stand-ups getting famous. there were attractive women who did stand-up back then. they just werent necessarily the ones getting sitcoms, getting, you know, a lot of ...

No more figures of speech over here. just concrete language. theres lots of incredible funny women from tina fey to sarah silverman, even the sweetly violence women i work with every day. >> really? >> really? >> all right. really. anyway, i dont want to live in a world without women came medians and neither does our next guest. the author of we kill the rise of women in american comedy. welcome, my sister. >> thanks for having me. >> so you can talk about smftd special challenges that women who...