An Applicant’s Guide to Student Culture at American Universities Harvard: I would shiv someone to answer a question in class. Yale: I wrote a Pulitzer-nominated play about the time I shivved someone to answer a question in class. Princeton: I’ve structured a derivative, the Shiv Swap, whose price reflects the probability that a given shivving is successful in allowing one to answer a question in class. Brown: We must ensure equal distribution of shivs across all socio-economic strata of American society. Cornell: GO BIG RED. Dartmouth: I made a shiv out of granola and ice. Vermont: I made a shiv out of weed. And then smoked it. Sorry, what was the question?