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after several days of solitary, did i digest the fact that i am going to be here for some time. not even the first day i was there, in the prison, because i just thought this can't be, i've done nothing wrong. i don't understand why i'm here and i didn't speak farsi, so i had no context. i didn't know who had arrested me. the group that arrested me, the islamic revolutionary guard corps, they were wearing plain clothes, they didn't show me any badge, any license, any official paperwork, nothing in english anyway. i had no idea who they were. i didn't know i was in evin prison, you know. i was so confused and discombobulated by everything that was going on and in such a state of panic and shock that i think it was several weeks before i was actually able to process the fact that i'm in deep trouble here. kylie, how close over months and months did they come to breaking you?