From out of the country. From other countries . [ cheers and applause ] according to the National Travel and tourism office, tourism is down in america since we elected President Trump. The u. S. Tourism industry lost 40,000 jobs and 46 billion in revenue since the inauguration. Dont know why people wouldnt want to come here. Were so welcoming to foreigners. Interesting. We dont need a wall, trump is his own wall in a way. Not only it is tourism down the price of rooms at trump hotels are also down. Significantly over last year, because a lot of people dont want to stay in a place with his name on it. But they have a new marketing push thats aggressive, which i guess is what they need to fill their empty rooms again. Trump hotels are the best hotels ever, anywhere. Our hotels are winning. And now our deals are better than ever. During mexico pays days. Give us your credit card, well charge the full amount of your room and mexico will pay you back. Who mexico go ahead and order room service, just write mexico on the bill. But dont delay, this deal is so good, youll want to reach out and grab it by the [ bleep ]. Mexico pays days at trump international. You stay, mexico pays. Mexico will not pay for this. Please stop asking mexico to pay. Other restrictions apply. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and not only are people from other countries not coming to this country, the president is not in this country right now. Hes 6,000 miles away at the World Economic forum in switzerland. He tweeted last night, well soon be heading to davos, switzerland, to tell the world how Great America is and is doing. Our economy is now booming and with all im doing, will only get better. Our country is finally winning again. Again with the winning. He knows thats charlie sheens thing, right . Its another psychopath from twitter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so, anyway if you dont know what it is, the World Economic forum is an annual gathering of the super rich. Which is funny how super rich people hang out together. You dont see that at other income levels. You make 80 grand a year, me too, lets go do something, take a trip. Anyway, trumps trip got off to a good start, an exciting start. Very exciting to be here, were very happy to be here. The United States is doing very well. It will continue to do well and this will be a very exciting two days, thank you very much. Very exciting. You can feel the excitement through the screen, right . But it wasnt all fun. Trump had strong words for the swiss government. Hes demanding they stop sending us cheese full of holds immediately. He hosted a dinner for European Business leaders tonight. Before that, he met with the british Prime Minister, theresa may, with whom hes had some issues, but he did his best to emphasize how special our special relationship is. The Prime Minister and myself have had a really great relationship, although some people dont necessarily believe that, but i can tell you its true, i have a tremendous respect for the Prime Minister. And i think the feeling is mutual from the standpoint of liking each other a lot. Jimmy she reached for that prescription three times since he got there. Its not uncommon for president s to borrow major works of art from museums to put on display at the white house. The obamas did it. The trumps asked the guggenheim in new york to loan them this painting, its called landscape with snow. They wanted to hang it in their private living quarters. The guggenheim said no, its prohibited from travel, except for the rarest of occasions. But she did offer, and this is not a joke, this fully functioning 18k solid gold toilet, which had been on display. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats what they offered them. The museum told trump to van gogh eff himself. The trumps said no, because what are they going to do with another golden toilet . Im surprised they said no. To me gold toilet is way better, i mean, the first time you pee on a van gogh, its ruined. Maybe this is something trump should hang in the white house. Vice president pence tweeted this photo of the annual crop of white house interns. Page class will graduate this week and return to their homes across the country, inspiring group. What an inspiring group. Look at how white they all are. Its like an albino rainbow. [ laughter and applause ] so much diversity. Tall white kids, female white kids, male white kids. Those arent interns, those are the children of the corn that youre posing with. [ laughter ] and what was the interview process like . And how many times have you seen the Dave Matthews band live . [ laughter ] put that photo back up. Look at how short mike pence is. Was he always that short . I think maybe he shrank from all the bending down to kiss the president s ass over the last year. [ laughter and applause ] in case you were worried the white house isnt white enough, dont worry, it is. The New York Times had a bombshell story tonight. They reported that the president ordered White House Counsel Don Mcgahn to fire Robert Mueller who is running the russia investigation. But then the president backed off, mcgahn said, if you make me do that, im going to quit. Which would have been a disaster, and still might be now that this the information has been released. You cant just fire every guy who investigates you. Hes running the white house by the exact same rules of the apprentice. He doesnt understand. Hes like, nobody had a problem when i fired meatloaf. [ laughter and applause ] according to this report, trump said mueller has a conflict of interest because years ago, there was a dispute over fees and mueller cancelled his membership at the Trump National golf club in virginia. Of course its about golf. Its always all about golf. Everything is golfrelated. The last time trump fired someone from the fbi, it was jim comey. And that led to Robert Mueller getting hired. If he fires Robert Mueller, maybe theyll put special investigator Hillary Clinton on the case, who knows. I will say this, Richard Nixon right now, must be rolling around in his grave, going, how does he do it [ laughter ] there was good news for team trumppence today. Oprah has announced she will not run for president in 2020. She did an interview and said, running for president is not for her. If shes not going to run for president , cant she at least give us each a car or something . [ cheers and applause ] think about it, oprah. Celebrities like oprah dont want to be president. They have lots of money, people like them. You become president , you have to worry about war, terrorists, sit through boring meetings, half the country automatically hates you. The only reason donald trump did it is because hes dumb. Cheer this is an alarming fact, out of all the many countries in the world, india has the most selfierelated deaths. These are deaths caused by people taking pictures of themselves and the reason for that is people like this gentleman. [ train honking ]. Jimmy oh is right. Miraculously, that man survived and is in stable condition. And somehow were able to track him down and hes agreed hes joining us live now against all odds from his hospital bed in hydrabad, india. How are you . Hello, mr. Jimmy kimmel. Jimmy hi. I want to know how youre doing. Im okay, im alive, thats the most important thing. Jimmy to be honest, you dont look okay, your arms and legs appear to be missing. They are not missing, they are right over there. Jimmy all right, well, you seem to be taking this very well. Its not too bad. I lost weight. Jimmy you lost weight. Well, god bless you for looking on the bright side of this situation. Not many people can do that. Im glad youre okay. Sorry you cant take selfies anymore. I guess thats the worst part of it. I can still take selfies, i just need to use this stick. Cheese jimmy oh, my goodness. This guys got the worst luck. Were going to take a break. [ cheers and applause ] when we come back, my cousin sal meets Cirque Du Soleil and in this week in unnecessary censorship too. So stick around. Well be right back. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] lobsterfest is back at red lobster. With the most lobster dishes of the year. New dueling lobster tails has two tails thatll fight to be your favorite. One topped with creamy shrimp and scallops, the other. Steamed with lemon and herbs. And no, youre not dreaming, classics like lobster lovers dream are back too, along with decadent new lobster truffle mac cheese. But enough talking about lobster lets get to eating because lobsterfest wont last. So dive in today at red lobster when you filter out the bad. Youre left with. The good. In life. And in water. Choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. Choose the filtered life. Hes hyperventilating after opening his verizon bill. Hey, whos that . Thats. That switched to sprint and saved 50 . Plus i got a new Samsung Phone for 50 off. vo get the best price for unlimited. Sprint. Works for me for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Sailing the seas day and night. They knew where they were going, by watching the clouds move in the sky or the way their boats rocked. Thats how the waves and stars would speak to them. Guide them. Sometimes, you can find your way in the world, by getting lost in it. Let your legend begin at aulani, a oneofakind Disney Resort in hawaii [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Viola davis, lil rel howery and music from lanco is on the way. Before we go, i want to wish my pal guillermo a happy birthday. Thank you, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the reason i want to mention it, you did some celebrating today here at work, right . Yes, jimmy. We had four shots of tequila. Jimmy came to my office this afternoon with a bottle of tequila and glasses and said, lets do some shots. How are you feeling right now . I feel great. Jimmy whats your plan for your birthday this weekend . Go have dinner and spend time with the family. Jimmy i dont really care what the answer is, i just like watching you talk when youre loaded. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how you know when guillermos drunk, when he talks, he does this, like hes holding on to an imaginary walker or should go. Heading to imaginary ponies. Well, happy birthday to you, my friend. Thank you. [ applause ] jimmy from time to time, we like to send my cousin sal out in front of the theater to create tumult. This time we paired sal with a contortionist named alexei golobora i dont know what the last name is. Its there on the screen. Part of the Cirque Du Soleil show. You know what a contortionist is, right, guillermo . Yeah. Jimmy okay. This is what happens when my cousin sal and a very flexible man turn hollywood boulevard into a little circus. Look out, look out can you watch this bag for one second, please, i just have to go to the bathroom. Theres not a bomb in there, is it . No, i just have to go to the bathroom. Im free. Thank you. Thank you so much for what happened . You had a body in there. You were supposed to watch. You had a body in there. You were supposed to watch. Youre not supposed to have a body in there. I was. And now hes gone. Which way did he go . Can you help me . Help me. Can you help me out . Can you stop taking pictures and just help me . Just grab my arm and pull it. Ouch, youre making it worse. Thank you. All right. You guys want a balloon animal . Want Something Special . Come on, lets show them Something Special. All right, who wants him . Okay, ill take him. Dont forget to water him three times a day. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks to sal and alexei. One more thing, thursday night, time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. Its this week in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] when i was a little girl, i dreamed of [ bleep ] an olympic figure skater. Republicans as you know, being the party with the run of the table in washington, theyre going to get [ bleep ]. You will get fingered. The white house lawyer told us President Trump is, quote, very eager to be [ bleep ] by mueller. Youve decided to [ bleep ] your [ bleep ] as a freshman in college. Researchers in china say they have successfully [ bleep ] two monkeys. Melania trumps former roommate. They used to [ bleep ] together before she met donald trump. If we could all just stand up, a big round of applause. I shouldnt have to say that to anyone, that when a woman goes to work, they dont want to [ bleep ] their boss. What is a good way to [ bleep ] more white people . Good luck. A jar of [ bleep ]. I think you can do it. Oh, my goodness. We have a good show for you tonight. Lil rel howery is here, and well be right back with viola davis [ cheers and applause ] company, advance cut, cut, cut sorry, cut. Sorry, cut. Sorry. Had a thought. What if, instead of saying advance, i say refund advance . Its going to be. Its going to be amazing. Watch. Okay. Sorry, guys, sorry. One more time. Refuuuuund, advance you could get an interest free refund advance of up to 3000 the day you file at block. H r block. Get your taxes won. At at t, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. Thats one for you, and one for. Your bbf your backup singer. Your frenemy your boo your roomie so one phone for you and one phone for someone in your squad. Buy an iphone 8 and get a second iphone 8 on us. The price is 4. 99 come on in for a subway footlong black forest ham meatball marinara spicy italian get five footlongs for just 4. 99 each right now at subway. Starburst . Juicedratic equation. Super topsecret mathematical formula they keep stored inside a safe. Inside a vault. Inside a volcano. Ohh. Juicedratics. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Ohh. Juicedratics. When you filter out the bad. Youre left with. The good. In life. And in water. Choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. Choose the filtered life. We can now repair complex at saortic aneurysmsare, without invasive surgery. If we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. And if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. If we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. [ cheers and applause ] it tonight from show next week we have new shows with chadwick boseman, Kerry Washington, jamie dornan, lupita nyongo, dave salmoni has wild animals to show us, danai gurira, Billy Eichner with music from zz ward featuring fitz, elise trouw, russell dickerson, and rick springfield. And this is bigly. On tuesday night, the president will deliver his first state of the Union Address and our guest will be two women who know a thing or two about having sex with the president , Kerry Washington who i mentioned before, and Stormy Daniels herself will be here. Its gonna be fun and educational, im going to get deported, i have no doubt that ill be kicked out of this country. I wonder where ill go. We go together. Well go to mexico. Jimmy okay. Our first guest tonight is one of the most talented and highly decorated actors anywhere. She has two tonys, an emmy and an oscar in the trunk of her car. Her show is called how to get away with murder. Watch it thursday nights on abc. Please welcome viola davis [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look fantastic. Thank you. Jimmy you look like a superhero right now. I do . Which one do i look like . Jimmy you are a superhero in a way. You gave a speech at that womens march, a great speech [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and its viral and everybodys watching it now. Are people bringing it up to you a lot . People are bringing it up to me a lot. It was one of those things where i didnt know how it was landing, because i wasnt hearing anything when i said the first part of the speech. And i was trying not to put my fist up in the air. Because i was like, the fro and the fist. Every time the hand went up, i was like eeeeee jimmy you make the best speeches. You really do. I feel like sometimes maybe theyre giving you the awards just to hear you give a speech. Thats how good you are. You know what, i wish that they would raise my quote. Jimmy who would . You know, the quote meaning, how much money you get. Jimmy you want more money . I would like that. Jimmy how much did you get paid to give that speech at the womens march . Nothing. Its an outrage, right . You dont want to start that, jimmy. You dont want to get me in trouble. Jimmy oprah bowed out, and knowing that you really know how to give a speech and get people going, have you ever thought about running a president viola in 2020 . Have you ever even secretly . [ cheers and applause ] deep inside have you ever no, i like vodka too much. I got some questionable things on my record. Jimmy our president has his own line of vodka. I think you would be okay. Yeah, you know, but i like saying [ bleep ]. And all that. Id probably cuss out congress. Completely thug approach. Jimmy hows your daughter . Shes here, i heard. My daughter is here. She brought her backpack with her little, you know, little black girl magic insignia on it and then she brought another bag. I said, genesis, why are you bringing these bags . She said, im going here for the food. Im going to put all this food in the bag and take it home. I think shes getting tips from my mom who takes aluminum foil with her whenever she goes anywhere. Jimmy she does. The first governors ball, after the oscars, she wanted to take the flower arrangement in the middle of the table. She said, i cant leave here without taking this flower arrangement. I said, mom, thats gonna be embarrassing. She said, viola, we could put it in a bag right here. Jimmy your daughter takes after her grandmother. Then she put the food in her purse. Im like, mom, i know youre from south carolina, but jimmy what is your daughter going to do with the food . Shes gonna eat it. [ laughter ] jimmy like as a snack, shell keep it for herself . She comes to all the talk shows with me. You are the standard. You are the gold standard. She goes to every talk show. And shell taste the