Trump saw the quarter in the air, he said hey, thats how much i paid in taxes last year, and it went downhill from there. Because of the pandemic, theres no opening hand shake, no physical contact. The candidates remained socially distant. It was like date night with melania. Biden faced an unusual challenge. How do you diebate a pathologicl liar. Its like debating a parrot. The parrots going to repeat the same things and then take a dump on the New York Times. Their views on the integrity of the election, biden is for it, trump is against. It was a good debate. The candidates had a product thproducttive giveandtake, no, it was terrible. Id call it a nightmare, but at some point during a nightmare you get some sleep is. We were talking about whether to move to vancouver or montreal. If you missed the debate tonight, basically did went like this. Vote now. Make sure you in fact let people know. He doesnt want to answer the question. Im not going to answer the question, because why wouldnt you answer the question . Radical left will you shut up, man . Who is on your list, joe . Jimmy trump treated Chris Wallace like eric asking for more lunch money. You know its heated m moderator says lets return to the topic of race. Team trump also stirred up a lot of qanonsense. He demanded that an inspector be brought in to check inside the ears of each candidate to make sure there were no transmitters in them, for real. This is what donald trump does, accuses the other guy of something insane and acts like its suspicious when the other guy ignores it. Have you looked inside a 77yearold guys ear . Its like a chewbacca reunion in there. Hes called for biden to be tested for performanceenhancing drugs. What biden is doing is called reading. You should try it once in a while. But the president was looking for any excuse that he could get his babysized hands on. He released all his dogs to attack bidens mental faculties, including rudy giuliani, the guy who puts mensch in dementia. Ive talked to doctors, ive had them look at a hundred different tapes of his. The biden folks say hes fine. He cant recite the pledge of allegiance, and hes fine . Jimmy theres no proof to this claim. I hope he never has to see his boss try to sing god bless america. God mess america land that i love stand beside her and guide her through the night with a light from above jimmy you him at sdand beside tand besid the telltale signs of add raleigh bus may include being overly talkative, check. Secretive behavior, check. Financial difficulties doublecheck, mania, check. Incomplete thoughts check. Excessive weight loss, so he doesnt have all the signs. Cnn had a group of undecided voters standing by tonight u which is hard to imagine anyone is still undecided, but i guess some people are. That is very interesting to me. We got in touch with an undecided voter to get his reaction to tonights debate. Lets welcome him here now, from perryville, pennsylvania. Say hello to daniel hopkins, how are you . How am i . Jimmy yes. I dont know. Jimmy okay, well, did you come away from the debate tonight with an idea of who youre going to vote for . Not really. Jimmy not really . I still go back and forth. Jimmy well, you know, youre going to have to make up your mind by november 3rd, right . I know. Thats coming up, right . Jimmy right. Yeah. Well, thats why i started making lists of the pros and cons for each candidate. Jimmy thats a good idea. Can you take us through that . Can you show us the list . Oh, yeah, sure. For biden, under cons, i have old, teeth too shiny, uses gross words like malarkey and seems like he eats persimmons to soften his stool. Jimmy all right, what do you have for pros, daniel . Lets see, sane, knows how to form a sentence and isnt a racist. Jimmy all right, what about donald trump . Okay, under cons, very also old, is racist, is a narcissist, sexual predator, liar, con man, inept and kind of blobby looking. Jimmy all right, now what about the pros . Oh, i dont have any pros. Jimmy there are no pros for donald trump. Nothing comes to find. Jimmy shouldnt that tell you that you might not want to vote for him . It should. But for some reason, it doesnt. Jimmy so how will you make a decision then . I guess the same way i decided to marry my wife. Ill flip a coin. Heads biden, tails trump. Jimmy that doesnt seem like a great way to decide. And . Thats weird. Jimmy what . It landed on its edge. Hey, maybe i could swallow it and see which side comes out first. Jimmy why dont you do that and then let us know, okay . Thank you, daniel, daniel hopkins, everybody. Thats [ applause ] thats not covid19 approved. Joe biden released his tax returning for 2019. He paid around 300,000, which is just about trump paid. The New York Times got their hands on a bunch of years of the president s tax returning. Did you know a man who got paid 500,000 to do a double stuff oreos commercial just nominated for someone for the Supreme Court. In 2005 he got paid 100,000 to record a bunch of ring tones. Somebody actually posted the footage of the recording session of this on youtube, and id like you to stop now and imagine hearing this every time someone called you on the phone. This is donald trump. I have no choice but to tell you, youre getting a phone call. Jimmy that was perfect, donald. Give us is the next one. This is donald trump telling, this is donald trump telling you to think big and live large. And also, answer your phone while youre at it. Jimmy that was, is you really nailed that one. Lets try one more. Im donald trump, im donald trump reminding, whoops. Im donald trump reminding you that timing is everything, and its time for you to pick up your phone. Jimmy thats right. Timing is, see, now thats a perfect call right there. Speaking of perfect. The geniuses at the Trump Campaign had a little snafu this afternoon. Hours before the debate started, they sent this email to supporters, from donald trump, request the subject, i finished debating joe biden. Now they sent that the at 2 29 in the afternoon u thr, three a half hours before the debate started. We went on the street yesterday, this was yesterday, the debate was still 24 hours away, but did that stop people from claiming to have seen it . No, it did not. As you will see in tonights edition of lie witness news. [ applause ] the debate on tv last night. Who do you think was better, trump . Or biden . Trump. Were you surprised last night at the beginning of the debate when President Trump pulled up on that motorcycle . Absolutely. What did you think . Sbloout absolute ly. Describe it for people. I know he was on it. I seen him. He was like revving it a little bit, which was pretty great, and that, thats what i enjoyed. Yeah. Did the fonzie thing. Exactly. What was your favorite moment of the debate . Was it when trump pulled up on the motorcycle . When kanye west pulled the microphone out of joe bidens hand or when joe biden bit trumps arm. Kanye. You did it . You actually did did . Joslin, last night was the big president ial debate. Im sure you watched. Yeah. When President Trump and joe biden tried to do a tiktok dance, what did that look like to you . I mean, it just looked like they were trying to be a tiktoker, i guess. You know . Yeah, what did joe biden look like . He was kind of like being, he was very stiff. Yeah. Trump had more fun with it. Did joe biden go too far when he called President Trump a no of good stinky loser . Absolutely. How did you file when he called him that on the debate stage . I was frustrated and enraged. Anything you want to say to Vice President about calling donald trump a no good stupid doody loser . You need to stop calling our president. A no good. Scum ball. Doody loser. Jimmy et cetera. You know what . Were all very frustrated tonight. But we have a very special show, cal penn is with us, music from haim, and well be right back with senator Bernie Sanders. [ applause ] i was one year off. Kind of gets me mad a little bit. The pressure for my generation to address the Climate Crisis is growing. We cant ignore the climate. Its really bad. I would say, to the older generation were living on this planet longer than they will be hopefully . So please please please please vote for me. Im daylan. Im gideon. Im amelia and i approve this message. Who knows where that button is . I dont have silent. Everyone does right up here. It happens to all of us. We buy a new home, and we turn into our parents. What i do is help new homeowners overcome this. What is that, an adjustable spanner . Good choice, steve. Okay, dont forget youre not assisting him. You hired him. If you have nowhere to sit, you have too many. Who else reads books about submarines . My dad. Yeah. Oh, those are progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Look at that. Now any order can be rewarding when you use the app. No matter how you pay, youll be closer to earning rewards and getting more of your favorites for free. More ways to pay, more ways to get rewarded. Starbucks rewards. Dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh light it up, dynamite shining through the city with a little funk and soul so ima light it up like dynamite cause, ahah, shining through the city with a little funk and soul im a light it up like dynamite, whoa shining through the city withey do one of the mostul deven in normal times. S, our Frontline Health care workers. And when these heroes lack the resources they need, that risky job gets ten times harder. Prop fifteen makes corporations pay their fair share. To invest in our communities, in our clinics, in the essential workers who treat everyone rich, poor, and inbetween. Whether its this pandemic or the next health crisis, vote yes on prop fifteen. For all of us. [cheers and applause] jimmy welcome back to our debate result show. Their album is called women in music part three, music from haim, at an empty parking lot at the forum. Tomorrow night, join us for the return of a beloved american tradition. Jimmy kimmel game night, adam sandler will be with us, followed by our new show at a regular time with julie bowen and my morning jacket. Our first ghost uest on this postdebate program is the only guy over 70 who has cardi bs number in his cell phone, please welcome senator Bernie Sanders. [cheers and applause] hello, senator. Hey, jimmy, how are you . Jimmy im okay. Senator sanders, be honest, how many times did you yell at your television tonight watching the debate . Uh, many. Jimmy many times, yeah. I would love to watch it with you and see what your reactions are. No, you wouldnt, no, you wouldnt. Jimmy you were a subject early on in the debate. Th they talked i heard that. I heard that. Jimmy did you feel that joe biden was distancing himself from you in some ways . Look, ive been in a number of debates in my life, and taking on trump, who is a bully, who is a liar, who doesnt even respect the rules of the debate is very, very difficult. But i think biden made a number of very, very important points tonight. While trump continues to lie in an incredible way. Jimmy how often do you spoke to joe biden . Every now and then. Joe and i have known each other for a long time. Im working as hard as i can to see that he gets elected. We have held a number of virtual rallies. Ill probably be hitting the road fairly soon for him. I happen to think, and i think people saw this tonight, in donald trump we have the most dangerous president in the history of this country, somebody who not only lies all of the time, jimmy, but really doesnt believe in science. I think you saw that it tonight, despite what he was saying about how wonderful and great the United States is doing in terms of the coronavirus pandemic, we have the highest death rate per capita of almost any country on earth. We have no national policy. We have a president who continues to reject science. Thats true for the coronavirus. That is true for Climate Change as well. And what we need, and i think biden will give us, is a government that at least listens to science and develops legislation based on science. Not somebody who or makes fun of scientists. Jimmy it did seem like he was trying to distance himself from the new green deal. Is that just politics that hes playing . Well, look, jimmy, his views are different from mine. I happen to believe in the Green New Deal. Joes views are different. But the truth is. A, he understands the Climate Change is an existential threat to the planet. And b, the point that he made is right. Whether you agree with the Green New Deal or you take another approach, he has another approach. He has prepared to invest trillions of dollars in transforming our Energy System away from fossil fuel to energy sustainability. And when you do that, you can lead the world in moving away from fossil fuels, save the planet for our kids and grandchildren, and also create millions and millions of goodpaying jobs. Think about the jobs that we can create as we weatherize homes and buildings all over america, as we move towards more Green Transportation system, changes in agriculture, investments in solar, wind and other sustainable energy. Biden is absolutely right and trump is wrong. In terms of job creation, going in the direction of combating Climate Change and investing in sustainable energy, that is the economic, smart thing to do. Jimmy do you think these televised debates are constructive . Ill tell you something. If you stop and think about it, i dont think tonight was a great night for america, and i think i was probably not the only person yelling at the tv. You know, if you stop and you think, jimmy, and you say, all right, look, lets calmly talk about what are the real issues facing the American People . We have 90 million americans who are uninsured or underinsured. We spend far more per capita on health care than the people of any other country, and we are the only major nation on earth not to guarantee health care to all people as a human right. Thats a real problem. Jimmy trump keeps saying that he is going to take care of people with preexisting conditions. Thats a lie. Thats an absolute lie. Jimmy we know its a lie, of course its a lie, and of course trump, one way or another, we wont see him again after four years. What about the senators and the representatives who go along with this . Do they think that were going to forget about this in two years when there are millions of people who cant get Health Insurance anymore . You raised a very important point. Its one thing to talk about trump. But i will tell you what has really surprised me is the cowardice of my colleagues in the United States congress. With very few exceptions. Very few. They have allowed themselves to be intimidated by donald trump. And, in terms of health care, the simple truth is, and trump, i think, could not even deny it tonight is he is now in the courts trying to end the Affordable Health care act which will throw at least 20 Million People off the insurance they have. He says we have a plan. Hes been president for almost four years. Where is the plan other than throwing people off the health care they have and doing away with preexisting conditions. And in terms of prescriptions, of course we pay the highest price. Pharmaceutical industry is a bunch of crooks. But all trump has done is come up with bogus executive orders. He does not have the guts to take on the pharmaceutical industry, something if the Democrats Gain control of the United States senate, which i hope very much happens. Im going to be chairman of the Sub Committee on health, trust me, we will take on those crooks in the pharmaceutical industry. Jimmy speaking of cowardice. I dont know if anything surprises us anymore. But i wonder if you were surprised when specifically asked if he would denounce White Supremacists that the president dodged it and did not, did not do that . I guess, i, hads haits hard t shocked anymore, but that was shocking to me, it felt like he left that sentence uncompleted. And it doesnt give me any pleasure to say this. You have a president who is, in fact, a racist. And he has been using race for a very, very long time. In trying to divide the American People up. And hes not only a racist. He is a zen phone. God only knows the attacks hes made on the latino community. He is a religious bigot, and this is who we have as president of the United States right now. And that is why, you know, people say, well, bernie, why are you supporting joe biden. You disagreed with him on health care. You disagree with him on that issue. And the answer is that it is absolutely imperative that we get rid of the most president in the history of the United States of america. This is a guy who continues to say he hey not lose office. You want to be shocked, jimmy . What about learning that youve got a guy in office now who says maybe i will lose the election, so what . That doesnt mean i am going to lose office. Because as you know, everything is fraud linulent. If i lose, by definition everything is rigged. The American People have got to make it clear. And i say this to republicans, and i say it to independents, not just democrats. If you believe in democracy, if you believe in the constitution and in the rule of law, trump has got to go. Because he does not believe in the law. [ applause ] jimmy well be back with senator Bernie Sanders. Ittake an extra 20 off. Ly sale get fleece for the family 15. 99 and under. The new fitbit inspire 2 is 99. 99. And get family denim 17. 59 and under. Plus, get kohls cash. Plus, free store pickup. Find a little more this fall. Cheddar, jalapeno and sour cream onion the spicy nacho stack. I wish i could stack pringles but i dont have hands or a mouth to. Cool, play my dance playlist. Theres a flavor stack for everyone. Sort of. Iwith vicks sinex saline nasal cmist. Tion for drug free relief that works