Cory booker and musical guest public enemy featuring live jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome, welcome, one and all to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert, as it says on the bone here. Well, we are live, right there, after the first president ial debate. Tonight was the opening round of donald trump versus joe biden, the battle of the boomers, the showman versus the joeman. Get ready for democracy to crumble i come to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, an empty vessel, a man with a mind wiped clean. I have stood in the swirling chaos of creation. I have seen shiva dancing destruction wielding his carvings agreement gout oft universe. The sky once red, blue, and black until all that remained was a starless void and the hollowed husk once known as Chris Wallace. We are emerged from the mad whirlwind where we forbade on the governance of god himself, and he said unto us, jesus, stop interrupting him, you giant baby yes, tonight saw the best minds of our generation destroyed by madness starving hysterical, naked, dragging themselves through the streets at dawn, looking for the mute button. Forget Fact Checking this debate. We couldnt even do any sentence finding i never thought id say this, but i am so looking forward to the Vice President ial debate. I mean, for petes sake, children watched that im glad ive already had my children, because i think just watching that sterilized me. But who knows . Who knows . I can get emotional. Maybe im a little overheated. Lets see what the news professionals had to say about it. Dana bash. That was a bleep show. Stephen okay, okay. That is, first of all, an insult to both shows and the other word that i cant say because this is cbs. And its not exactly accurate, because at least after a 90 minute poop, you generally feel better. laughter okay. Oh lets get to the coverage. Going into tonights. Debate . Anticipation was abubblin. The New York Times predicted a clash of style and ideas. No, bad, New York Times, bad stop pretending that any of this is normal. Theyre not equivalent candidates. You dont see a guy trying to take a molotov cocktail away from a baby and say, thats a real clash of style and ideas. Now, before the debate started, Chris Wallace gave us a preview of his moderation strategy, saying, my job is to be as invisible as possible. Chris, i could have told you trying to be invisible wouldnt help. Havent you seen the lord of the rings . I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. Stephen now, before things even got started, the difference in the candidates was clear because everyone in bidens side of the hall was wearing a mask. Most of the people on trumps side, including his four children, were not wearing masks. And according to the Cleveland Clinic, it is a requirement that all guests wear masks. And thats not a medical requirement. The Cleveland Clinic just doesnt want to see erics mouth. Plus, youre not going to win over voters by killing them. Most polls show that voters do not respond well to their own deaths. Chris wallace opened by laying out the rules for the sparse audience. The audience here in the hall has promised to remain silent. Stephen and not just the republicans who have been cowards for the past four years. Even though the candidates did not shake hands, they did change pleasantries. applause how you doing, man . Stephen to which trump replied, im okay, how are you doing man, person, woman, camera, tv. It seems pretty clear from the beginning that trumps debate strategy was just to talk over everyone. Let me ask my question. Ill ask joe. The individual mandate was the most unpopular aspect of obamacare, i got rid of it mr. President , mr. President , id like im the moderator of this debate and i would like you to can let me ask my question. Stephen and he just kept doing it all night. It reminded when Abraham Lincoln debated a leaf blower. Now, joe biden did get in some zingers. Mr. President , can you let him finish, sir . He doesnt know how to do that. Youd be surprised. Stephen to which melania responded, no you wouldnt. Eventually, biden had just had it. Will you shut up, man . Stephen no, no, he wont. Imagine if that worked its not great when you have to say the same thing to the president of the United States that you would shout at a friend who wont stop ranting about how van halen was actually a better band with sammy hagar. Biden tried to highlight just how bad trump has been on the coronavirus. And, by the way, maybe you could inject some bleach in your arm and that would take care of it. That was said sarcastically and you know that. Stephen as trump it was sarcasm, just like my oath to hold up the constitution and my marriage vows. I guess im just too hip for the room. Then, then things got a little personal. A lot of people died, and a lot more are going to die unless he gets a lot smarter a lot quicker. Mr. President. Did you use the word smart . Dont ever use the word smart with me. Dont ever use that word. Stephen i can imagine trump is not used to hearing that word around him very much. Wallace tried to paint the difference in the two candidates campaigning style as a quirk. President trump, youre holding the large rallies with crowds packed together, thousands of people. Outside. Outside, yes, sir, agreed. Vice President Biden you are holding much smaller events. Why you holding the big rallies, why you not . Stephen we already know the big rallies are bad, chris. This is like asking, mr. President , youre tying ladies to the Railroad Tracks as the choochoo trains are coming. Mr. Biden, why did you go with the strategy not killing your supporters . He tried to explain that the rallies are a health risk. Hes not worried about you. No negative effect. Weve had 35, 40,000 people at these rallies. Stephen no negative effect from your rally, thats an interesting point. Herman cain, your thoughts . Herman cain . Evidently were having connection issues with the great beyond. Now, trump lamented the damaging effects of the lockdown. You look at whats going on with divorce. Stephen i mean everywhere you look, there are wives saying to their husbands, donald the second youre out of office im leaving you and your unspeakable burger farts. War crime, she used the word war crime. Shes going to drag my ass, my literal ass, to the hague. laughter come on. You have to find your happiness where you can. Trump bragged about how hes rescued the wide world of sports. Im the one that brought back football. Stephen to which the Cleveland Browns fans said, yeah, were good. Trump then tried to defend paying so little in taxes. Before i came here, i was a private developer. I was a private businesspeople. Stephen as trump i was a private businesspeople. It was me and a bunch of mes that i made up for tax writeoffs. The people. Then joe, he just got fed up. You are the worst president america has ever had. Stephen come on now, mr. Vice president. Thats not fair. Hes also the worst president america will ever have. Trump tried to hit joe where it hurt his record. Ive done more in in 47 months, ive done more than you have done in 47 years, joe. Stephen i, you know. Thats possible. But volume isnt everything. The nuclear bomb did more in hiroshima in one day than any politician did in history, but something tells me it might have cost truman the japanese vote. There was an interesting moment of civility from biden. Its hard to get any word in with this clown excuse me, this person. Stephen its a good thing joe corrected himself. He wouldnt want to lose the clown vote. Its also not accurate. If trump was a clown, he would have a much more professional face paint. Then Chris Wallace announced he was going to ask a question about race. Were going to go to the next segment. Im going to ask a question about race, but if you want to answer about something else, go ahead. Stephen Chris Wallace, restating americas official position on racism. Then we arrived at one of the most telling, one of the most upsetting moments not only of the night but of my lifetime, when the president of the United States was asked simply to condemn White Supremacy. Are you willing tonight to condemn White Supremacists and militia groups. Im willing to do anything. I want to see peace. Then do it, sir. Do it, say them. What do you want to call them . Give me a name. White supremacists and militia. Proud boys, stand back and stand by. Stephen didnt do it. I dont support White Supremacists. I just command them. Like a dog. Thats why ive got this shiny dog whistle. Proud boys proud boys stand back. Sit. Whos a proud boy . Youre a proud boy. On foreign affairs, biden said trump wasnt an attack dog, he was a lap dog. Hes putins puppy. He still refuses to say anything to putin about the bounty on the heads of american soldiers. Stephen as trump thats not true. Im not his puppy. Im his b. F. F. Im erdogans soul cycle contact. Trump explained the massive forest fires in california arent climate changes fault. The forest floors are loaded up with trees, dead trees that are years old, and theyre like tinder. Stephen as trump theyre like tirnd. You swipe right, you swipe left, either way, total smoke show, and they are d. T. F. Down to forest fire. After one particularly long trump spittlefilled blather, Chris Wallace tried to get things back on track. Mr. Vice president , answered his final question. The final question is i cant remember which of all his rantings. Im having a little trouble myself. Stephen its funny, because we are facing the most important election of our lifetimes and were letting the idiot who shouts the loudest decide what we talk about. Now, trump ended up ginning up fears about the next election. This is going to be a fraud like youve never seen. Stephen oh, i dont know, im looking at a pretty big one right now. When Chris Wallace asked trump if he would call on his voters to stay calm, instead trump made a frightening call to his followers. Im urging my supporters to go into the polls and watch very carefully. Stephen as trump maybe go hang out there wearing your favorite brown shirt and just, you know, s. S. The situation. After an hour and a half of soulpulverizing menace, i feel like i did coming out of Star Wars Episode one the phantom menace how can we possibly do this two more times . Ultimately, i think the American People, they were hurt tonight. And it and if you look online, theyre angry. Because this is a serious moment. Where human lives and the future of this irreplaceable country is on the line. And i know that Chris Wallace says hes not a fact checker. But after one and a half hours of chaos and lies, i can say theres one statement tonight that was absolutely true. This is not going to end well. This is not going to end well. Stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Later on well have a performance by public enemy. But when we return, ill get a debate reaction from senator cory booker. Stick around. Woo go go go go on a real vacation. Visit go rving. Com or your nearest rv dealer. Such as high blood pressure,ve pdiabetes, and asthma. S this administration and Senate Republicans want to overturn laws requiring Insurance Companies to cover people with preexisting conditions. Theyre rushing a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court to change the law through the courts. 70 of americans want to keep protections for preexisting conditions in place. Tell our leaders in washingtn to stop playing games with our healthcare. Is now even more powerful. The stronger, lastslonger energizer max. Tums ver bell rings la stickr, lastslonger when heartburn hits fight back fast. With tums chewy bites. Beat heartburn fast tums chewy bites smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back to a late show, and our live broadcast following tonights president ial debate, i guess you could still call it. Lets say hello to our friend mr. Jon batiste. Jon, its good to see you. I dont want to be alone right now. Did you did you put yourself through watching that debate just no . Jon yes, i did. I had to do other things while it was playing because it was a visceral anger that i felt. And it takes a lot for me to feel worked up in that way. Stephen no, youre a very calm and reasonable person. It was it was embarrassing. Jon it was a tough and embarrassing moment for america. I just want to say, racism is a bad thing. Public service announcement. Stephen okay. Where do you find the courage, jon . I think i think i i think theres no greater softball in the world than, do you condemn White Supremacy . And he couldnt do it. Jon its right there. Its a debate. Youre trying to find a way to unite people, and this is the easiest thing. You just knock it out of the park. Stephen see, thats the difference. Hes not looking for a way to unite people. He wants to divide people because hes got no ideas to give to the United States of america. Only the divided states. Well, jon, i know its hard, but could you play something that matches the tone of what we just saw or something that is a counterpoint . Jon yes, a counterpoint, and we have to counterpoint it with the votes. Stephen thats right. Jon lets get out there. Stephen jon batiste, everybody. Thank you, jon. Jon thank you, stephen. Stephen joining me tonight is a senator from new jersey and former president ial candidate. Please welcome back to a late show, senator cory booker. Senator, im not entirely sure where to begin our discussion about what happened tonight. Can you can you sum it up . How would you describe what we just sat through . I mean, it was painful. I think that if youre not hurting or worried after what we just watched, maybe you tuned in to the wrong thing. I mean, donald trump came with this obesity of aggression and just like a pugnacious posturing that was just not who we want to represent us. Its not representing the spirit of the heart of this country. And i respect a lot of what joe biden was trying to say and do during that election. He came far more president ial, frankly. But donald trump to see a fox news commentator have to try to constantly wrestle with the president of the United States just so joe biden would have time to speak. It was embarrassing to our country. And yet another example of how Donald Trumps heart is so discordant with i think with what the heart of america is all about and what the spirit of this country is about. It was hard. It was painful, stephen. Stephen i think youre right. I think people out there who saw that and i imagine the first debate is usually the one that gets watched the most i think people were in pain to watch that because, as i was just saying to our friend jon batiste, it was absolutely embarrassing for america to see that. Seeing the president of the United States not being able to shut up for just two minutes. I dont want to say shut up. Just be quiet and allow someone to speak for two minutes. It seemed clear because he knew his ideas could not win. He could only win through well, through domination or aggression. Yeah stephen how do you think biden did . Well, first of all, theres a sense with donald trump its almost like, putin doesnt have to go through these things. Why do i even have to be here . And im just going to try to bully and dominate the night. What i liked about joe biden is he kept trying to turn it away from the two men on the stage and back to the American People. At one point, he did this impassioned plea, this is not about us. This is about you. This is about you. And trying to keep it on the people and people that are hurting. I mean, look, we are in a moment in america where addiction is up, Life Expectancy is down, suicides are up, our disparities in wealth are greater than theyve been in generations. We are at a time where our economy is is doubledigit unemployment. I mean, there are so many things people are struggling to. And donald trump tried to keep saying that everything is greater than its ever been. And as he says, hes the best president we ever had. And so, i just appreciate of appreciate that the patience that we saw within joe biden in trying to continue to bring the subject back to the American People and to what was going on, despite donald trump, who just said things that left me gobsmacked, making claims that were just wildly wrong, that he creates 700,000 manufacturing jobs when the fact is weve lost 200,000 manufacturing jobs under his watch. Constantly putting out things that are not true. I think the most hurtful moment for me, for joe, a guy that ive gotten to know well is when he talked about the sacrifice of his son, you know, the son. Stephen beau. Beau, that died, that served honorably in the military, and donald trump didnt evn didnt even pause. He just treaded over that hurt and that pain, treaded over the honor of his service to try to score more cheap hits on the Vice President based on lies. And so the whole night was just sad that our commander in chief was just so ugly amidst joe biden trying to do what he did with me. I was on debate stages with him, which is actually to discuss the issues that americans really care about right now. Stephen you know, i saw in what you i saw what you were describing in Vice President bidens face. I saw i saw the same pain were talking about. But i think i imagine that it comes from a particularly special place for him, not just because of his natural empathy to understand what the American People are going through and what they want from a leader right now, and i think that is that sincere desire in the Vice President to fulfill that need for the American People, to be a a moral example for the nation, as f. D. R. Called the presidency, essentially a moral office. But the pain i saw on his face was knowing what a president can be like and feel this pain for what he sees our president being right now a pain for america. Like, it must be heartbreaking for him to to have the presidency and a relationship with the president not be a theory, to know what that person can be. I dont mean just barack obama. I mean people that joe biden didnt support, but donald trump is an abomination. He is a stain on the office of the presidency and his behavior, and i saw that in Vice President bidens face. Well, two points. One is, you know, joe has this sort of reverence for the office. He he sees it with a sense of humility. He actually knows that no individual, woman or man, is big enough to fill what the presidency is, the awesome responsibilities. And thats why he approaches it with humility and a sense of gravity. Donald trump does not at all. He treads upon the awesomeness of responsibilities. He has a level of arrogance, and even a disdain for the virtues that we need right now. And in one of my most intimate conversations with joe, we were driving i was going to endorse him. We were driving from flint, michigan, to detroit, and it was one of the best id ever felt. I know, i just dropped out of the president ial race and i was going to endorse the guy that beat me. And he seemed to understand that right now, perhaps more than any period in the last 50 years, what the what we need from a president is someone that can heal us, that can remind us that the lines that divide us are nowhere near as strong as the ties that bind us. He he yearns for us to see that in this moment in america, we must put more indivisible back into this one nation under god. And so maybe thats why the moment of this debate that was like a dagger to the heart of that american aspiration, and that is truly menacing to all that we stand for. You see, i know in my personal Family History what it has meant to see our society collectively reject the k. K. K. I know what it meant in when the klan was marching in virginia, in the same city my mom did a sitin, in, to see this country resoundingly reject the klan and nazis, which american blood was spilled fighting in europe. And when this president was given the simple opportunity to yet again condemn hateful groups, he didnt just fail to condemn it, as you and jon were talking about. There is something even more chilling that is real. He said, stand back and stand by to the proud boys, a right wing hate organization. Stand back and stand by, that they are now online using those words almost as if theyre a license from the president of the United States to stand ready in an election to engage. There is a dangerous, menacing reality going on right now where the president of the United States is failing to endorse the american 200year tradition of a peaceful transfer of power, a president who has said undeniablably, if i lose, this election was rigged. And now he is calling out to rightwing white supremacist organizations and telling them to stand by. And so, that, to me, was so frightening, so antiamerican spirit, so contrary to the heart and the soul of this country. And to me he has violated his very oath to defend a constitution that speaks in spirit to this understanding that we are a nation that sets a democratic example globally. So i just want people to know to listen to him tonight. As a great poet maya angelou said, if someone tells you who they are, believe them. It is a frightening thing but we have to turn our fear into fight, our worry into work. Because we do have the power. We as a country are more the power of the people is greater than that man thats in power. Stephen and i want to talk about that power and how people are going to exercise it when we come back right after this. Please stick around, sir. And you at home stick around, too. Ill be right back with more senator cory booker. Instantly clear every day congestion with vicks sinex saline nasal mist. For drug free relief that works fast. Vicks sinex. Instantly clear everday congestion. Sprinting past every leak in our softest, smoothest fabric. Shes confident, protected, her strength respected. Depend. The only thing stronger than us, is you. Optum perks can save you up to 80 . And everyone can do it. Its from optum, a Health Care Company thats trusted by millions of people. Opt in and save big today. You can get half off your second sandwich by using promo code saveon2. Greg booked another 7am meeting . Wizards wizard status perfect for you, and your new coworker. Just use saveon2, online or on our app. Working within amazon transportation services, i really saw the challenge of climate change. We want to be sustainable, but when you have a truck covering over 300 miles, or you have flights going hundreds of miles, its a bit more challenging. We are letting the data guide us to the best solution. Its inspiring to try to solve a problem that no one else has solved. Thats super exciting. Stephen hey, everybody. We are back with senator cory booker. Senator, lets talk about something maybe a little bit hopeful in all of this. One of the moments i thought was best for Vice President biden tonight is when he looked in the camera, and basically said, dont listen to the hopeless messages you get from this man. You get to vote. Your vote will be counted. You decide whether you get another four years of chaos and lies from this man. Not him. Yes. Stephen isnt that isnt that what we have to take from this . You know, we do. I mean, thats the exciting thing about this Great American experiment is we really broke with the course of human events and created this profound nation where the people get a say. And this is one of those elections where we all have to realize the only thing necessary for evil to be triumphant is for good people to do nothing. And so youve got to ask yourself, what are you going to do right now . You know, king said it it. Kings harshest word, read the letters from the birmingham jail, were not to the White Supremacists, the k. K. P. He said im writing to the moderates not doing nothing. Its not the vitriolic words of bad people. Its the silence and inaction of good people. This is moment. If you havent decided youre going to vote, if you havent made a plan, as Michelle Obama said, to wait in long lines, pack two lunches, this is the moment you get to determine the destiny of this nation, no donald trump, no matter what he says, no matter how much he tries to jangle threats, and menaces. This is our decision to make collectively as a country. Its not a referendum on him. Its a referendum on us, on who we are and what were going to do. Stephen and if you dont know how to vote, go to betterknowaballot. Com. We have how to vote by mail, how to vote early, and on the day of for every state. Go check it out. Lets talk about a subject that came up tonight, a couple of times actually, and it was about the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to replace the seat of ruth Bader Ginsburg. Youre on the judiciary committee. How do you imagine the next couple of weeks are going to go . Do you know at this point when the hearings start . Forgive me for not knowing that. Midoctober. Lindsey graham, who said explicitly, months ago, that if a advocacy vacancy comes out, we will not try to fill it, use my word against me. He is breaking his word. Stephen im from south carolina, and there is one thing they care about down there and that is honor. And that is a dishonorable thing to have done. I am stunned. The video is very clear. Stephen thats very sweet that youre stunned by Lindsey Graham lying. Thats very nice of you. I call it naivete. But i to me, i still have to be a prisoner of hope when it comes to people who look you in the eye and say what theyre going to do. For this to be such a sudden flip is just disappointing. When people have already started to vote in america. And when this Supreme Court justice, theyre rushing them on the court to get there before the oral arguments on the Affordable Care act. Donald trump says im going to tear down the Affordable Care act, and all the protections for people with preexisting conditions, all the protections for people that might have exceeded lifetime caps. Remember those before the Affordable Care act, so we can tear down your health care. Stephen but all so he can have nine justices on there, and he wants people hes appointed in case he can drive this election all the way to the courts. Thats another chilling moment. Yeah, he wants to take it out of the hands of people and ballots that may have been mailed in before the election day but may arrive afterwards, he wants to try to call that illegitimate and drive it to the Supreme Court and let his picks decide his fate. And that makes me call into question what kind of conversations. He already requested comey, we know he went to somebody and said, hey, are you going to be loyal . He had loyalty tests for other members that hes been able to appoint. The question is, is whats going on with this Supreme Court nomination . And thats why i believe she should recuse herself. She should say right now to the American People im not going to political size and delegitimize the highest court in the land. If theyre not going to wait until after the next election, let the next president decide, at least im going to try to give some level of integrity to the courts and say i will recuse myself from any matters revolving around this election. Stephen so far, we know that schumer, hirono, and blumenthal plan on boycotting meetings with Amy Coney Barrett. Are you planning on meeting with her . Im going to have a hearing with her before the hearings start. I want to have a direct conversation with her, for the sake of the court, and the integrity of the court, she should recuse herself. Ruth Bader Ginsburg didnt know the outcome of this election are but her last Public Statement was she request they wait. And she said that not because she had insight into who would win, but she believed the legitimacy of the court in the eyes of america has to be sustained. And for this to be violated, im really hoping this nominee understands her place in history and will recuse herself. Stephen senator, thanks for being here. Good luck with those hearings. I hope they are i hope they are less embarrassing in the end than tonights debate was. And well see you soon. Senator cory booker, everybody. Well be right back right back with meanwhile. Stick around. Thank you. Stephen thank you, sir. Imagine the places well go. Together. Expedia leggo a big mac no pickles please. There you go. Medium fries. Con ketchup. And an oreo mcflurry. Of course ooof the j balvin meal. Get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Im lovin it they traveled thousands of miles together, visiting troops overseas. And they developed the kind of friendship you dont see too often. In the senate, they disagreed on almost everything. Theyd fight like hell on the floor, and then theyd go eat lunch together. Because they always put their friendship, and their country, first. Now more than ever, we need a president who will put service before self. A president who will lead with courage and compassion, not ego. A president who will respect the sacrifices made by our Service Members and their families. A president who will honor our fallen heroes. And a president who will bring out the best in us, not the worst. Joe bidens dedicated his life to this country and working across the aisle to get things done. Joe will always fight for the American People, just like john did. Im joe biden, and i approve this message. Push the button the time has come to galvanize [sfx typing sound] [sfx typing sound] [sfx typing sound] proposition 16 takes some women make as little as 42 of what a man makes. Voting yes on prop 16 helps us fix that. Its supported by leaders like Kamala Harris and opposed by those who have always opposed equality. We either fall from grace or we rise. Together. Proposition 16 provides equal opportunities, levelling the Playing Field for all of us. Vote yes on prop 16. Taking california for a ride. Companies like uber, lyft, doordash. Breaking state employment laws for years. Now these multibilliondollar companies wrote deceptive prop 22 to buy themselves a new law. To deny drivers the rights they deserve. No sick leave. No workers comp. No unemployment benefits. Vote no on the deceptive uber, lyft, doordash prop 22. One ride california doesnt want to take. Stephen welcome back. You know, i spend a lot of time curing the finest meaty stories, pairing them with the most savory aged cheeses and cornichons, and carefully laying them out on a carrera marble slab to offer you the delectable charcuterie of stories that is my monologue. But once in a while, i dump the bottom of three bags of stale chips, slather the crumbs with pumpable cheddar, throw it all into an old batting helmet to create the nacho bucket of news that is my segment quarantine while. Quarantinewhile, because of the pandemic and zoom learning, snow days are probably over. No no this is terrible news first of all, its the greatest thing you can do is tell your kid theres a snow day. Its the greatest feeling. Youre the greatest parent of all time, and more importantly, if kids dont get any days off school, who is going to watch the price is right . Drew carey is like tinkerbell he Needs Children to believe in him to stay alive look how much weight hes the authorities are clearly not considering that if we do this, our kids will fall even further behind other countries in testing metrics like snowfort stability, snowball accuracy, and losing your snow boots on the first damn day how does that even happen, cara they were on your feet do you not feel that . the boot comes off . Quarantinewhile, home Safety Company rings latest Security Camera is a drone that flies around inside your house. Its a great way for you to leave your house with peace of mind while youre destroying the last shreds of your cats sanity. Evidently, the device is an autonomous drone that can give you a perspective of any room you want when youre not home and is called the always home cam. Not the best timing to debut the always home cam during a pandemic when parents have access to the cheap version cam, who is always home. Quarantinewhile, kraft is rolling out Pumpkin Spice macaroni and cheese which is classic cheese powder, plus an assortment of autumnthemed flavors, like cinnamon and nutmeg. And just a hint of seasonal depression. But the Pumpkin Spice mac is not for sale. Oh, no. And its gonna be tough to get as u. S. Residents must tweet by september 29 for the chance to win the limitededition product. Wait thats today come on, kraft you cant do this to us. Specifically, you cant do this to my writer, kate sidley. Shes really pregnant and really wants to try this fall monstrosity. So send her some not only will she tweet about it, but shell even name her baby after it. I did not run that last thing by her, but im sure its fine. So do the right thing, kraft. If not for kate, do it for her future child Pumpkin Spice mac and cheese sidley leonardo. Again, im sure shes cool with that. Quarantinewhile, Sir David Attenborough has set the world record for the shortest time to reach one million instagram followers. Sir dave is on instagram. Well, get ready for a tidal wave of thirst traps. And now that attenborough has ventured in the wilds of social media, i am looking forward to his future documentaries here we see the common instagrammus microinfluencia. Propelled by an insatiable urge for attention, she risks her life to get more likes than her best friends stupid new baby and shes off forced to find New Territory to stunt for the gram stephen well be right back with a performance by public enemy. Knowing who we are is hard. Its hard. Eliminate who you are not first, and youre going to find yourself where you need to be. The race is never over. The journey has no port. The adventure never ends, because we are always on the way. Lets be honest. Quitting smoking is hard. Like, quitting every monday hard. Quitting feels so big. So try making it smaller, and youll be surprised at how easily starting small can lead to something big. Start stopping with nicorette. Joe biden was raised with middle class values. Joe doesnt need to be the center of attention. Or see himself on tv. He has always focused on getting the job done. Joe led us out of the 2008 recession, and increased Health Coverage joe led us out of thefor millions. On, as president , joe will focus on getting us out of our crises. Hell listen to experts, work across the aisle. And put the American People first. Ff pac is responsible for the content of this ad. All of those highpriced plans introducing boost mobiles all new hrinkit plan the longer you stay, the less you pay. Start at just 45 per month. After 3 ontime payments, your bill shrinks to 40 per month. Then bam. After 3 more ontime payments, your bill drops to just 35 per month and stays there. The best part your bill shrinks but your data amount doesnt. Plus get a free lg stylo 6 when you switch all on our new, upgraded network. Save with our new hrinkit plan. Boost mobile. Save with our new hrinkit plan. When was the last time your property tawhat . L went down . Never. Are you kidding me . For years, the residential burden has gone up. While the corporate burden has gone down. Prop 15 reverses that. It closes corporate loopholes and invests in schools, small business, and firefighters. And when the big corporations pay more, your tax bill goes down. Thats right. A savings of a hundred twentyone dollars a year for the average home. Give homeowners a break. Vote yes on 15. Woman 1 get your woman 2 you can stay healthy and fill it out from the safety of home. Surfer or you can fill it out anywhere. Man 1 its easy to mail it back. You dont even need a stamp. Man 2 or you can use an official drop box. Woman 3 you can even drop it off at the polls. Man 3 then, track it to confirm your county got it. See . They got it woman 4 mail ballots are the simple, safe, and secure way to ensure that your vote is counted. You already are the oldest president in history. President kennedy, who had to go for days on end with very little sleep during the cuban missile crisis. Is there any doubt in your mind that you would be able to function in some circumstances . I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponents youth and inexperience. laughter classic great line. But f. Y. I. , i can do a lot of damage so maybe think twice before electing someone who is so old he thinks hes a cowboy because he rode a horse in a tv show. But, hey, just a thought. Im just a nuclear weapon. But dont ask me. Itchy . Scratchy . Family not getting clean . Get new charmin ultra strong. It just cleans better, so your family can use less. Hello clean bottom enjoy the go with charmin. Is now even more powerful. The stronger, lastslonger energizer max. The stronger, lastslonger i was covered from head to toe with it. It really hurt. Then i started cosentyx. Okay, thanks. That was four years ago. How are you . See me. Cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. Real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. I look and feel better. Ask your dermatologist if cosentyx could help you move past the pain of psoriasis. Stephen welcome back. Their new album, what you gonna do when the grid goes down . , came out friday. Now performing grid featuring breal of cypress hill and george clinton, ladies and gentlemen, public enemy. What yall gonna do . Uncle jams armys in public enemy, cypress hill what yall gonna do . No more grid we all addicted men women and kids no internet no text and no tweets well look like the 80s with fiends in the streets aww snap no apps just maybe perhaps no grid is what we need for new human contact not even your own server can save you we all caught up in the web is so true no g. P. S. What will you do no emails or whatsapps coming thru now your phone is just a phone with a camera no algorithms, huh to manage us all your post on i. G. Lost in the cloud with your information listen real close to what im saying folks might have to pick up a book, pick up a pen hey, back to basics again Digital Mental Health clinics worse than a pandemic more Police Brutality but no posts on who filmed it the grid is gone universal mind blown, cmon what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down the grid goes down the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what yall gonna do be real about it communication breakdown its a take down are you awake now or consumed by a fake clown World Wide Web keep the spiders fed looking at my feed trolls everywhere but knowledge supersedes at your fingertips clicking all the keys to the locks pandoras box, open up now youre on the clock not a second to lose addicted to a platform its the calm before the storm if the grid goes down you better be ready emotional effects may be deadly masses to run steady the depression hits like a tyson blow isolation on another level whos responsible i dont know i gotta theory if you hear me but you wanna fear me dumb us down then divide us up i see it clearly pit one against the other even though were brothers make us hate each other while they keep their asses covered what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down the grid goes down the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down what you gonna do when the grid goes down socially engineered anarchy induced chaos thats how they go play us one against the other him against his brother one another ahhh but Uncle Jams Army is here what you gonna do whatever it takes what you gonna do whatever the party call for socially engineered mike brown anarchy induced chaos thats how they go play us george floyd what you do when the grid goes down no sound around where is justice for mike brown . Where they at . Where they at . Stephen colbert. applause stephen thank you, public enemy. Well be right back. Im 53. But in my mind im still 35. Thats why i take osteo biflex, to keep me moving the way i was made to. It nourishes and strengthens my joints for the long term. While helping with occasional joint stiffness. Osteo biflex. Stephen james corden is next, but first, lets say good night with some music from jon batiste and stay human. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show oh, oh the late late show, ooh the late late show